Eddy's New Groove
by StarReader86
Summary: When Eddy undergones a strange transformation and is far away from his empire, he will learn about true friendship and get a whole new attitude adjustment. Completed at last!
1. Prologue

Author's Notes: Hi! This is StarReader86 here! After reading so many stories on Fanfiction, I have been inspired to write some stories of my own. I hope you like this parody of _The Emperor's New Groove_, one of my fave Disney movies. This is my first story, so please be nice but honest in your reviews and I will take them into consideration for additional chapters.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, Eddy or any other characters in this story. However, I do have the power to enlist them in my stories, whether they like it or not :)

PROLOGUE

In the rainforest of Ed-topia, rain is pouring with thunder and lightning as additional effects to the ensuing storm. In the inner most part of the rainforest, there is a human-size chicken sitting in the rain with its head bowed down underneath an overhead fern leaf. The chicken has mustard-yellow feathers, a large orange beak, red feet, and a large red comb separated in three strands. As a clap of thunder is sounded, the chicken looks up with a sad expression on its face. The fern above the chicken becomes overflowed with rain water and, consequently, dumps the water on the miserable fowl. As the now drenched chicken starts to whimper and frantically looks for new shelter while slipping and sliding across the damp ground, a boy's voice is heard to start the story off.

"_Take a look at this chump! Pretty pathetic, right? Well, that chicken you're looking at used to be human. But not just any human, oh no, that guy was an emperor, a king for crying out loud!"_

"_The coolest, most powerful, and devilishly handsome ruler in all of Ed-topia! Oh yeah! So sit back readers as I tell you this guy's story, which is really my story. That's right folks, I'm that chicken and by that I mean the animal chicken, not the 'oh I'm a huge wimp' kind of chicken, just want to clear that up!"_

"_Anyhoo, the name is Eddy. Emperor Eddy to all you peasants. I was the world's nicest guy, but they…ooooohh... they had to go and ruin everything!"_

"_Still not following? Tell you what, just go and do the 'flashback' thingy, like you see in cartoons, and go back to before I became a chicken and this will all make sense."_

As the reader does the 'flashback' thingy, we see Eddy as an infant playing with a toy cash register. Baby Eddy, who's wearing a striped beanie with a propeller with a gold crown placed over it, is happily punching the register's keys and throwing the pretend money in the air with fits of gleeful laughter.

"_Okay, now see. You people went way too far back. But you lucky folks have gone back to when I met my first love: MONEY!"_

After Eddy finishes his statement, his baby self accidentally breaks the register in the midst of his punches. Baby Eddy begins to cry and throws a tantrum until several hands, appearing out of nowhere, hold out multiple replicas of the toy register. Seeing all the toys available at hand, Baby Eddy stops crying and begins clapping and laughing in glee.

"_Aw, that's so sweet I actually got a cavity. But now, it's on with the show…!"_


	2. Eddy the Emperor

CH. 1 "Eddy the Emperor"

The scene now shifts to a 13 year old boy who is combing his hair, which consists of three long black strands. The pink-skinned boy is wearing a yellow shirt with purple collar and purple trims on both sleeves, a red stripe on the side of the shirt, blue jeans with a chain link attached to the pocket, and red shoes. After applying Le Goop to his hair and using a comb with a chicken's head at its end, the pre-teen emperor tosses the comb directly in the cup. Eddy places a gold crown on his head, turns around and says in an all cool fashion, "Oh, yeah!" As he struts toward the palace, a voice is heard singing:

**There are despots and dictators  
****  
Political manipulators**

Johnny 2 x 4 and his pal Plank roll out the red carpet for Emperor Eddy, who continues his over-confident strut, while Sarah, with an angry sneer, throws flowers in front of him as if to 'decorate' his arrival.

**There are blue bloods  
****  
with the intellects of fleas**

Approaching a solid wall, Eddy snaps his fingers which draw various workers who construct an elaborately decorated exit in record time. As the workers pant in exhaustion, Eddy goes through the exit without thanking his servants or even caring to do so.

**There are kings and catty tyrants**

Again, Eddy snaps his finger and Rolf appears with a large, golden chair. Once Eddy has sat on the chair, Rolf runs up a long flight of stairs while carrying both emperor and chair.

**Who are so lacking in refinements**

**They'd be better suited**

**swinging from the trees**

The thoroughly exhausted Rolf places Eddy on a red, comfy cushion on a large, golden throne. After Rolf leaves, Eddy sits on his throne with a bored expression as he fulfills his royal duties. The first duty is cutting a red ribbon to some new establishment or something, Eddy didn't really care.

**He was born and raised to rule**

**No one has ever been as cool**

His next task was to kiss the newborn babies. As three pairs of hands appeared holding Dil Pickles, Poof, and Hana Stoppable, Eddy, who didn't like babies all that much, especially kissing them, stamps the babies' foreheads with a red stamp resembling lips.

**In a thousand years of aristocracy**

In his final duty, Eddy throws a bottle against a ship, carrying Shrek, Donkey, and Puss 'n' Boots, to bless their maiden voyage to Worcestershire Academy to find Artie.

**An enigma and a mystery**

Eddy wipes his brow after all the hard 'work' he has completed. Hamton J. Pig comes over to clean the emperor's face with a cloth, and then Eddy turns towards Aang who cools him off with his airbending powers.

**In Cartoonamerican history**

A bikini-clad Nazz walks over to Eddy with a jug of water and pours some water into Eddy's open mouth. As Eddy begins to gargle, Kevin arrives with a bowl for him to spit into, however, Eddy spits on Kevin and does not look very sorry about it.

**The quintessence of perfection**

**that is he**

Eddy leans across his throne with a satisfied smirk on his face. His narrator voice then states, "_Okay, now this is the real me. Not this. This. Not this. Winner. Loser,"_ as images of himself as a human emperor and the sad chicken in the rain switches back and forth with each statement.

The reader now sees the entire palace from the outside. The outside view of the palace shows a sparkling, golden face resembling Eddy's with bejeweled sculptures of jawbreakers and dollar signs placed around the palace. As Eddy resumes speaking, the reader sees the emperor in all of his glory sitting on his throne inside the plush palace.

"Now, you see this palace? Everyone in it is my slave…I mean, servant. They do exactly what I command them. For example….," narrates Eddy.

"…my personal butler…."

The emperor snaps his fingers and Mr. Herriman instantly hops over to him. The rabbit takes out a white napkin and ties around Eddy's neck.

"…my own chef…"

Eddy snaps his fingers again and Jimmy with a white chef hat, apron, and mitts, instantly pushes in several tables with hot, steaming food with the cooks from Ratatouille preparing the food for servings.

With a smug grin on his face, Eddy turns toward the reader and says, "And because I'm so cool, I even have my own theme song guy."

A half-dog, half-human singer with his hair looking like a zigzag lightning bolt in a lime green suit, and black boots suddenly jumps out of a large strawberry cake on one of the food tables. His name is Powerline (A.N. the singer from A Goofy Movie).

"Oh yeah!" sings Powerline and resumes the song he was singing at the start of the story.

Powerline: **He's the sovereign lord of the nation**

**He's the hippest cat in creation**

As he jumps out of the cake and slides toward Eddy, he continues to sing:

**He's the alpha**

**the omega, A to Z**

With his lunch fully prepared, Eddy snaps his fingers and many servants with forks in hand, feed him various food as he reclines lazily taking it all in.

**And this perfect world will spin**

**Around his every little whim**

**'Cause this perfect world**

**begins and ends with…**

"**ME!"** Eddy exclaims excitedly. He never gets tired of hearing his name, even in his own theme song.

**What's his name?**

Knowing that line was his cue to begin busting a move, Eddy promptly leaves the throne room and rushes to the entrance doors, causing a couple of his guards to get crushed by the swinging doors. By then, an invisible chorus begins to chant his name.

Chorus: **Edddyyy…**

Eddy begins twisting his body and doing all sorts of dances from the "Running man" to the "Moonwalk."

Powerline: **That's his name**

Chorus: **Edddyyy…**

Powerline: **He's the king of the world**

Chorus: **Edddyyy…**

Powerline: **Is he hip or what?**

Chorus: **Edddyyy…**

As Eddy begins doing some disco moves from Saturday Night Fever, he accidentally bumps into someone. With an aggravated look, Eddy turns around and finds a short old man. The old man is wearing a small black top hat over his bald head, a monocle, and a light purple business jacket with a sash that says "Da Mayor." Underneath a white handlebar mustache, Da Mayor is crunching on a pickle blissfully without realizing that he has just committed a serious offense in the kingdom.

When Eddy collided into the Da Mayor, the music and Eddy's 'groove' abruptly stops. Eddy faces Da Mayor and groans, "Nice one, Grandpa. You messed up my groove!" Then Eddy crosses his arms and pouts like a five-year old as Wilt, one of Eddy's guards, kneels toward Da Mayor and says, "I'm sorry, but you kinda threw off Emperor Eddy's groove. And, I'm sorry, but that's against the rules."

Outside, the reader sees Da Mayor and his pickle flying out a window, with the old man crying out, "MMMYYYY BBBAAAADDDDD!"

While Eddy looked somewhat appeased that the old man got what he deserved, Powerline, on the other hand, looked shocked at what Eddy had just allowed to happen, especially for an incident that wasn't that big of a deal. Realizing that Powerline wasn't singing, Eddy angrily faces the singer and says, "Well, what are you waiting for? Your next album?!"

Not wanting to be the next one thrown out of the palace, Powerline gulps, and then continues singing:

Powerline: What's his name?

Chorus: **Edddyyy…**

In another room, a maroon curtain opens up to reveal Eddy dancing to his own beat in the middle of a several guards who are doing their rendition of Riverdance.

Powerline: **What's his name? **

Chorus:**Edddyyy…**

Powerline: **Is he hip or what?**

Chorus:**Edddyyy…**

Powerline: **Don't you know he's**

**the king of the world**

Chorus:** Whoa, yeah**

Being hyped up from his song, Eddy runs along a long hallway with his servants bowing to him. He hustles towards a door to another room and kicks it open as the song comes to a close with his signature phrase, "Ha, Boom, Baby!"

'_Oh yeah, I am the man!'_ Eddy thinks to himself as he enters the room.

--  
StarReader86: Well there you have it folks, the end of Chapter one! It seems all is going well for our Eddy, but if that were the case, this would be a very boring story. See what happens as you meet the other key characters in this parody. As always, Read and Review!


	3. Meet the Jerks

Eddy's sudden intrusion startles Squidward, the Royal Matchmaker, who was waiting for the emperor's arrival. Squidward jumps up and exclaims, "Aah! Your majesty, please don't do that. I already get one too many surprises from an annoying sponge who will remain nameless." When Squidward landed back on the ground, he regains his calm composure and announces, "Ahem, your highness, it is now time for you to choose which of these lovely ladies will be your bride."

Actually looking forward to this task, Eddy slicks back his hair and puts on his best macho face. "All right, Squid-nerd, bring on the ladies!"

Though grumbling at the emperor's mocking of his name, Squidward complies and motions for the six potential girls to line up in a single file. The girls are Lee Kanker, Misty Waterflower, Patty Mayonnaise, Reggie Rocket, Ami, and Raven.

Eddy examines each girls and frowns, because he already finds something 'wrong' with each girl and vocally lists each one.

"Okay, hate your hair."

"Not gonna happen."

"Don't think so."

"Not girly enough."

"Way too girly."

When he stops at Raven, Eddy says with a sneer, " Don't tell me, you're secretly a sweet girl underneath that creepy Goth getup."

Eddy turned towards Squidward with a less than pleased expression on his face, not realizing that the rest of the girls were keeping an enraged Raven from going 'Azarath Metrion Zinthos' on him, though most of them thought he deserved to get beaten.

"Is this the best you could do?" demanded Eddy.

"Well, uh, yes…I mean, no, um, what I mean to say is uh…" stammered a nervous Squidward, who was often on the receiving end of the ill-tempered emperor.

Rolling his eyes, Eddy thinks out loud _'What is this guy yammering about? He's like the thing that won't shut up! You're probably still wondering about that chicken in the beginning of this story. Now, I'm going to show you the two jerks who ruined my life.' _

Outside the palace, a young 13 year old boy walks to the door with a rolled up piece of paper. The boy is wearing a black ski hat with a white stripe on the side of it which covers his head, save for a few strands of black hair. He is also wearing a long red short-sleeved shirt, purple pants, and blue colored shoes at the bottom of his skinny legs.

"_Now you see this guy? His name's Edd or Double D, and he has one lame middle name_ **(A.N. for those who don't know, its Marion)**," Eddy narrates.

Edd unfolds the paper and looks it over. The paper was a summons letter from the emperor requesting his presence at the palace today. Edd folds the paper up, sticks the paper in his pant pocket, and taps the shoulder of a blond teenage guard, wearing a Battle Ready Armor named Chad Dickson.

"Excuse me. I have an appointment with Emperor Eddy. I have this summons notice that clearly states…" Edd tells Chad who cuts him off by pointing in a direction.

"Inside, up the stairs and to the left. Just follow the signs, loser," groans Chad.

"Oh, I see. Thank you for your assistance," replied Edd.

While Edd is making his way towards the throne room, narrator Eddy butts in and says _"Now don't let Mr. I'm-so-kind-and-polite fool you. That guy's nothing but trouble."_

As Edd continues walking, he is hit on the head with a half-eaten pickle. Edd plucks the pickle from the top of his hat while thinking, "What on earth…?" as he scratches his head in confusion. His musing is interrupted as he hears a voice saying, "Excuse me, but that pickle's mine."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Here you go" and without another thought, Edd returns the pickle to its owner.

"Thank you, my dear boy."

"You're quite welcome," replies Edd as he resumes his walk. A second later, Edd does a double take and gets a good view of the man he just helped. Da Mayor is entangled in a banner hanging outside of the palace, not too far from the window he was thrown out earlier.

"Oh my goodness, are you okay? Let me help you out of that mess," says Edd. He unfolds the banner and gently lifts the petite old man down onto the ground.

"Why thank you, young man. You're so very kind," Da Mayor complimented Edd as he ate what was left of his pickle.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you get stuck up there?" Edd asks.

"Well, it's a funny story, actually. I was standing there, just minding my own business, eating a delicious dill pickle, and listening to a musical number. And before I knew it, the emperor bumped into me and, oh, was he mad. You see, I…I threw off his groove."

"His what?" Edd was confused. He heard of the emperor's new clothes, but never about his groove.

"His groove, boy. The rhythm that guides his life, the pattern of his behavior, etc. etc. When I threw off his groove, the emperor had his guards throw me out the window."

"Oh, really? I'm sorry to hear that. Incidentally, I'm about to go see the emperor today…" says Edd, but a frantic Da Mayor jumps up and grabs his collar.

"Whatever you do, don't throw off his groove!" warns Da Mayor.

"Okay, okay. I promise. I won't throw off the emperor's 'groove,'" assures Edd. Da Mayor jumps back on the ground and begins walking away. He looks back at Edd and says in a hushed, eerie voice, "Beware the groove."

"Sir, are you positive that you're okay?"

The only response he receives from Da Mayor is an eerie "Groo-oove." Edd looks back at the receding old man and ponders, '_While it is possible that our cognitive function slowly deteriorates as we get older, I think I will take his advice, as crazy as it seems, into consideration. After all, I have never spoken to the emperor, therefore I don't know what his temperament state is like.' _With that, Edd resumes his walk towards the throne room.

"_You see what I mean? I told you this guy's nothing but trouble. He had the nerve to help that annoying old geezer who threw off my groove. Anyways, as bad as this jerk is, he's nothing compared to the other people who messed up my life,"_ narrates Eddy.

In the throne room, a blue-eyed woman with long red hair pulled back in a curved shape with a tacky, plastic gold crown on her head is sitting on the golden throne. She is wearing a gray top with the letter 'R' in red cut off near her belly, long purple gloves covering her arms and hands, a gray skirt, and black boots. From her high position, she looks down at the pre-teen villager standing before her with a bored expression. "So why are you here?" she asks in an uncaring tone.

"Well, it's like this, your majesty…I…I mean, your highness…" stutters a nervous Chuckie Finster.

'_Okay, while this dork's stammering, let me go ahead and tell you about this lady.'_

'_Her name's Jessie, the emperor's advisor and an ex-Team Rocket agent. Now, you're probably wondering 'Why the heck did I hire someone from Team Rocket?' One, I don't own any pokemon and even if I did, she sucks at being a thief. Two, she was looking for work, so I hired her and gave her a reasonable salary. And by 'reasonable,' I mean whatever I felt like giving her which can range from nothing to maybe five dollars a week…maybe.'_

Standing next to Jessie is a young man with green eyes and short blue-lavender hair framed around his head. His uniform is similar to Jessie's except he's wearing pants and wears black gloves.

"_And let's not forget Mr. Clue-less aka Jessie's partner over there. For as long as Jessie has been with Team Rocket, this guy has always been there by her side. His name is James. And yes if you link their names together, they sound like Jessie James, the cowboy, though I think that's pretty lame."_

A fly starts buzzing around Jessie who half-heartedly swipes at it.

"James, do you mind?"

"Way ahead of you, Jessie. I got it!" exclaims James. He wildly swats at the fly with a _harisen_, a Japanese paper fan. When the fly rests on his forehead, he readies himself to strike. "Gotcha now!" a confident James pronounces, but the fly flies off at the last second, leaving James no time to stop himself from hitting himself with the fan. "Owww…" James groans on the floor.

'_Yep, that's James. Not a very bright guy, is he? But back to Jessie, see, she's got this crazy idea that she can play me for a sucker and get away with ruling MY country behind my back. I don't think so! No one makes a sap out of me! I decided to put an end to Jessie's 'so-called' rule for good.'_

"I could care less if your family doesn't have, uh, what was it again?" demanded Jessie.

"Um, food, your grace," answered Chuckie.

"Hmmph! Well you should have thought of that before—then using air quote gestures—the "locusts destroyed our crops." Guards! Take this insect away. Next!"

"But wait I…". Chuckie gives a small yelp when he is grabbed by Dash Baxter and Kwan. "Oh okay, then."

While the teen guards dragged Chuckie away from the room, Jessie throws a hand up to her forehead in a dramatic fashion and states, "Oh, it is so hard being queen. But someone has to do it and who better than yours truly, right James?"

James, with a forceful grin, replies, "You're absolutely right, Jessie. You are the perfect queen."

"Even better than that midget twerp?"

"Uh…," James uttered, but couldn't finish his answer because he spotted the said 'midget' sneaking up behind Jessie without her knowing.

"Peasants can be so annoying, huh? I guess its true what they say, 'You can't find good help these days,'" said Eddy.

"You are so right…" Jessie turns to face the direction of the voice and to her surprise, she spots Eddy.

"Gotcha!" said a smug-looking Eddy.

She jumps up in panic and begins dusting the throne in attempts to look like a gracious, obedient servant. "Oh, your highness. I didn't realize you would be back so soon, otherwise I would have had this place tidied up," Jessie nervously states.

Eddy shakes his head as he says, "Jess, Jess, Jess. You really thought you were going to get away with it, weren't ya?"

Feigning innocence, Jessie asks, "Getting away with what, your emperor-ness?"

Throwing his hands up in the air, Eddy exclaims, "Ruling the country behind my back, that's what! Geez, this is like the tenth time this month!"

Eddy pointed to himself, "I'm the emperor, the one everyone obeys and worships the ground I walk on and you…" then points at Jessie, "…are my advisor, or in laymen's terms, my lackey. You got that?"

Putting on an apologetic face, Jessie tries to explain herself to Eddy. "Oh, but your majesty, I didn't want you to be bothered with these unimportant peasant matters. So, I was only looking out for your best interests…."

Through Jessie's performance, Eddy doesn't hear a word she says. He focused all of his attention on her face and feeling quite disturbed by what he saw. _'Man, look at all those wrinkles. I didn't think it was possible to get crow's feet at 20_ **(A.N. I don't know how old Jessie or James are, so I'm guessing 20)**. _And what is it with her hair? I wonder how many times she's gotten it stuck in an elevator. _Then Eddy shifted his gaze towards Jessie's open mouth and spotted a chunk of green stuck between her front teeth. _'Eww, broccoli! I hate broccoli! That tears it, this woman is evil!_

Eddy's thoughts are interrupted as James suddenly appears next to him. James says, "You're all heart, Jessie. Don't you think so?" and pats Eddy on the shoulder.

Never liking to be touched by people, Eddy jumps into a kung-fu stance, faces James with hands ready for chopping, and shouts, "Hey, hey! No touchy! You do not touch the emperor!" Thinking that Eddy was going to lay one on him, James yelps, "Eeeee!!"

A squirrel wearing an astronaut type suit named Sandy Cheeks pops her helmet-clad head in the throne room and announces, "Er, excuse me, your highness. The village leader is here to see you. He'll be here faster than a jackrabbit on a hot day in August in the…"

"Okay, okay! Just send him in," Eddy replies quickly to stop the Texan squirrel from going on one of her tangents. Just as quickly, he glances at Jessie and says, "Oh, and before I forget, you're fired."

Her eyes bulging to the size of dinner plates and her mouth dropping to the floor, Jessie could not believe that the emperor had just dismissed her so easily. Once she found her voice, she managed to stutter, "Fuh...Fir…Fired?! I don't understand!"

"Well, let me break it down for you. You see, you're being let go,"—Slinkman, a yellow slug in a Bean Scout uniform, appears with a clip board and writes down everything Eddy says—"you're no longer wanted, we're going in a different direction, the job market is changing for the worse, take your pick, I could go on all day."

"But I…You can't…" Jessie stutters but then loses her voice as Slinkman hands her a pink slip. She just couldn't believe that she was losing her cushy job as the emperor's advisor with its high status as well as her chance of using the emperor to become queen.

She sits down dejectedly and whines, "But, your majesty, I have been nothing but loyal and obedient to you." She looks to Eddy with a puppy dog pout a la Kim Possible. "Don't you think I deserve another chance?"

Looking sympathetic, Eddy answers, "You're absolutely right. You do deserve another chance." Jessie smiles, thinking that he changed his mind and she could keep her job.

Then, with a smirk, Eddy finishes, "Another chance to get botox or at least some wrinkle cream. You have more wrinkles than Fu Dog and he's ancient!"

As Eddy laughs hysterically at his joke, Jessie's face began turning red and her forehead vein began to pop. If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was for anyone to make fun of her appearance. '_First that Misty tomboy called me a hag and now this, oooohhhh that twerp is going to pay dearly for insulting my beautiful face!'_ Jessie angrily thought.

Not noticing Jessie's pent-up rage, Eddy smirks at her and asks, "Now, I believe someone is still sitting in my chair. I wonder who it is?" James, who had been silent up to this point, answers dumbly, "Uh…Jessie?"

"Very good, James! And for playing this game, you get a shiny, new bottlecap." Eddy takes out a bottlecap from his pocket and holds it up in front of James.

James jumps up and down and claps his hands in excitement. "Eeee! A 1990 Purple Flurp bottle cap! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!"

"You want it? Fetch, boy, fetch!" Eddy tosses the bottlecap over the steep stairs and James, without thinking, leaps off and lands painfully at the bottom. Though missing some teeth and sporting a black eye, James lifts his head and smiles. Holding up the bottlecap, he proudly exclaims, "Ha, I got it!" as a couple more teeth fall out.

"You heard the idiot! Move it or lose it, sister!" Eddy ordered with a self-satisfied smirk.

Jessie looks at Eddy with a look of loathing and growls under her breath as she exits the throne room.

Eddy leans back on his throne and yells out to Sandy, "Alright, let him in!"

As Sandy opens the door for Edd to enter in, the young teen looks positively nervous. He had never faced the emperor in person but he did hear some things about Eddy, mostly about him being a greedy, self-absorbed jerk. Despite what most of the peasants thought of their emperor, Edd always believed that everyone had some good in him and was willing to give Eddy the benefit of the doubt.

As he approached the throne, Edd nervously stammers, "Um, uh, good afternoon, your highness. I received your summons notice and might I add, that I am looking forward…"

Eddy cuts him off by saying, "Hey, that's the guy I'm looking for. My main village man!"

"If you don't mind, your highness, my name is Edward. But you can call me Double D."

Though he didn't really care what this guy's name was, Eddy needed Edd for his upcoming plans, so he decided to act friendly towards him.

"Oh, my bad…_Double D_. Anyways, you are just the guy I need!"

A surprised Edd asks, "I am?"

Since the letter never stated why he needed to see the emperor, Edd didn't know what to expect. But he felt that whatever problem the emperor had, he would do his best to help him.

"Word on the street is that you're very smart and that you help everybody." Eddy then slides down from his throne to the ground and faces Edd with a pleading look. "You can help me, can't you?"

"I'm quite flattered that you have so much confidence in my abilities. But I'm certain that I can help you with whatever you need," replies Edd.

"Great, great. That's all I wanted to hear." Grinning a Cheshire-like smile, he places his arm around Edd's shoulder, much to Edd's discomfort, as if they were good friends and leads the boy into another room.

"Do you have any idea how important your village is to my empire?" Eddy asks.

"Well, we grow a cornucopia of crops, such as corn, tomatoes, squash, much of which is harvested to feed everyone in the empire. In addition, we raise the chickens that are…."

By then, the two have arrived at a small platform with a mysterious object hidden underneath a white sheet. Edd stops in mid-sentence as Eddy grabs the sheet and pulls it off in revealing what was underneath. It turned out to be a miniature model of Edd's village.

"Is that a replica of my village?" asked an astonished Edd.

"Oh, yeah. That's a pretty sweet place you got there on that hill, huh?" asks Eddy as he nods his head in the direction of a hill where a small model of Edd's house is positioned.

"It certainly is. Did you know that my family has lived on that particular hilltop for the last six generations? In fact, my parents willed the house to me when they passed away."

"Yeah, yeah, that's real interesting." Eddy didn't really want to hear about the house's history, there was something else that he wanted to know. "But tell me this, and I'm just curious, but where do you get the most sun?"

"Hmmm." Edd raises his hand to his chin and moves around the village model to scrutinize each angle. "On the other side of these trees"—Edd pointing to the right side of the model—"is where you would get the maximum sunlight exposure you desire."

Closing his eyes with a peaceful smile on his face, Edd continues, "Ahh. When the sun's rays shine on the ridge just right, those hills sing like the melodious nightingale."

"Don't get arty on me, sockhead! But thanks to you, you solved my problem."

Edd was confused. He couldn't believe that this was all Emperor Eddy needed from him. "Really, your highness? The sole purpose of this meeting was to describe which side of the village receives the most sunlight? Surely, you wanted to discuss some other important issues such as better learning facilities or the deplorable working conditions in the jawbreaker mines?"

"Nope. I just needed a second opinion before getting this place ready for my pool," Eddy replied. Then he bent down to pick something up.

"Your pool, your highness?"

Suddenly, Eddy lifts a model of a huge palace and roughly plops it on top of the model making Edd jump back in shock and knocking the model of Edd's house off the hill.

"Bam! Welcome to Eddy's Paradise! Population: yours truly! It's my ultimate summer hangout which comes with a water slide, see?" Eddy points to a winding, miniature water slide filled with water.

"Please excuse my grammar for a moment. But are you for real?!" Edd was in complete shock as he began to see why Eddy needed his help. He now feels troubled because he realizes that the construction of Eddy's enormous summer palace would have major implications for his and his neighbor's homes.

"Isn't this cool? Its my own birthday gift to me! I sure spoil myself! Ha ha ha ha!" Eddy laughs as he hugs the model with glee.

"But, I don't understand…"

"Man! What is with you people today? Am I speaking French here?!" exclaimed an annoyed Eddy. Slinkman, appearing out of nowhere again, asks, "Do you need me to write this down, sir?"

"Its okay, Slugman! I got this one!" After that, Slinkman vanishes from the room.

"Okay, let me break it down for you! Tomorrow is my birthday, so obviously my servants will begin building my summer getaway. When I say the word, my men will destroy your little village and Eddy's paradise will open, just for me!" Eddy emphasizes his statement by pressing a button that caused tiny strands of confetti to fly out and a little flagpole holding a flag with Eddy's face slowly raised up. Amused by his model, Eddy begins humming to himself as he watches the display.

Meanwhile, Edd was devastated. Tomorrow, his and the rest of the villager's homes were going to be torn down. Everyone was going to be homeless and he made that happen by bragging to Eddy about his village. He picks up the tiny model of his home and looks at it with both shame and shock.

Eddy comes over and takes the model out of Edd's hands. As he tosses it away carelessly, Eddy remarks, "So, if I were you, I'd look into some real-estate or at least move into a cheap motel."

"Your majesty, please reconsider what you're doing. If you go on with this project of yours, my girlfriend, my best friend, my cousins, and I won't have a place to live. Our neighbors will also be homeless. I mean, where would we live?" pleads Edd, hoping that there would be some compassion in Eddy.

Feigning deep thought, Eddy answers, "Good question. Here's an even better answer: Don't care! Does that answer your question?" Before Edd could even respond, Eddy finishes, "Yeah, I thought so too," and then proceeds walking out of the room.

Edd could not let the emperor leave until he changed his mind about building his summer palace over his village. "Now wait just a darn minute, you can't…" Edd angrily protests, but is then grabbed by Steve Barkin and Officer Tuddrussel **(A.N. From Time Squad). **

Eddy stops in his tracks. He always got what he wanted and he was not going to let some punk in a ski hat tell him what he can and can't do. He walks back to the restrained Edd and says with a malicious sneer, "When I give the word, Double Doo, your cute little village will be reduced to rubble! Guards, do me a favor and take out the trash."

"Hey, wait! Don't do this. Ow! Unhand me you…" Edd continues to protest, but the guards pay no heed to his words as they dragged him out of the room.

Having to have the last word, Eddy teased Edd even further. "Later, sucker!" Then, his narrator voice spoke, '_Oh, yeah. Eddy's da man. Everything was going just the way I like it. Absolutely nothing can go wrong!'_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

'_Remember when I said 'Absolutely nothing can go wrong?'_ narrates Eddy. The reader sees a bust in the emperor's likeness being smashed to pieces by a mallet. _Well, I take it back, because things were going to get ugly!_

The person responsible for the bust's destruction was a p.o'd Jessie who was taking her anger at being fired out on the busts.

"He thinks he can get rid of me that easily? Ha! He doesn't know who he's dealing with! That tiny twerp is going to pay!" rants an enraged Jessie.

As his partner continues to seethe, James struggles in holding several busts for her to destroy. He places one down on a stool in front of Jessie as she continues to shout, "This is…uh, a little to the left." James shifts the bust slightly towards the left direction. Jessie raises her mallet and brings it down on the bust smashing it into smithereens as she continues, "This is the last straw. I've been bossed around by that blowhard Giovanni but being humiliated by that twerp? I won't stand for it!"

As James sets down another bust on the stool, Jessie resumes ranting, "How dare he fire me? I was the one to tell him to spend his cash on himself than on the schools, playgrounds, and hospitals. I even told him to increase the miners' hours to increase jawbreaker production at low minimum wage. And this is the thanks I get?!"

"You'd think he would've been somewhat grateful," reasoned James.

"Yeah, but what can you expect from a twerp, anyway?" responded Jessie, as she begins walking away but still feeling furious at Eddy.

"It's probably better that you're taking your rage out on these busts instead of the real Eddy, huh Jessie? Its much better therapy."

What James had just said pulled Jessie out of her funk. In her mind, she began thinking that getting rid of the emperor would guarantee her becoming empress. Excitedly, she grabs James and exclaims, "You're a genius, James! That's how I'll become empress. We will get rid of Eddy."

"Get rid of the real Eddy or these little busts that look like Eddy?" asked a confused James. In annoyance, Jessie bops him on the head, causing a lump on his head. "Of course, I meant the real Eddy!" she snaps, then groaning about how her partner can be smart at one point and a complete moron the other. However, her face lights up as she explains her foolproof plan.

"This plan can't fail! One, Eddy is an only child, so we don't have to worry about any heirs to the throne. Two, since no girl in her right mind ever dated him, there's no competition for the role of empress, not that I couldn't handle any competition. Once we get rid of that annoying twerp, I'll take over the empire as fast as you can say, "Empress Jessie! Its brilliant!"

"But Jessie, Eddy fired you, remember? Won't it look suspicious if someone were to see you back in the palace?"

"Ah, but if you recall, only three people know about that"—Jessie holds up three fingers—"but once Eddy is gone, it will just be the two of us," Jessie concludes as she holds up two fingers.

"I'm one of the two, right?"

Ignoring him, Jessie strikes a dramatic pose and shouts, "To the secret lab!"

The two villains sprint towards a wall which had two levers sticking out of it. "Pull the lever, James!" Jessie commands. James pulls the left lever, which unfortunately for Jessie, opens a trapdoor causing her to fall through. "Wrong leveeerrrrrr!" she screams.

"Oops," James mutters sheepishly.

On one side of the room, a door slides open revealing a wet, frustrated Jessie with Frankie **(A.N. from Shark Tale) **biting on her butt. Kicking the shark off, she groans, "Whose bright idea was it to put that lever in?"

She pushes James aside while saying, "Get out of my way!" to get to the right lever. When Jessie pulls the right lever, the wall flips the duo over and the two plop into a roller coaster car.

"Alright dudes and dude-ettes, this ride is about to start. Wave your hands like crazy and have a blast, seriously!" said an announcer voice courtesy of Motor Ed. As soon as the announcement was over, the roller coaster zoomed quickly down a spiral track. Even though Jessie looked bored, James, however, screamed at the top of his lungs, "Woo hoo! Faster, faster! C'mon Jessie, you're missing out on all the fun!" while waving his hands in the air.

At the end of the roller coaster ride, Jessie and James were expelled out of the car into an underground laboratory. As they landed, both of them were wearing white lab coats with the signature red 'R' on the front, black goggles, gloves, and boots, all of which were specifically modeled in their size. The evil duo high-fived each other and jogged over to a table filled with various chemicals in different sized glass beakers and tubes.

"Now, what's the best way to get rid of that twerp?" Jessie asked herself. In her mind, she thinks out the plan similar to the way Meowth explained their get rich quick schemes **(A.N. If you've watched the last couple seasons, you'll see what I mean)**.

First imagining a chibi model of Eddy, Jessie says, "Ah, I have it! First, I'll turn him into a bug, maybe a flea, and then I'll put that flea into a box and then I'll place that box in another box." As Jessie imagines the large cardboard box, she continues saying, "Then, I'll mail the box to my house, and when it arrives, I'll smash it with a mallet!" Jessie concludes her plan by imagining a chibi version of herself laughing like a lunatic as she repeatedly hits the box.

Snapping back to reality, Jessie brags, "It's brilliant, I tell you! Its pure genius!" In her excitement, Jessie accidentally pushes a nearby test tube off the table, spilling its potion onto a flower which causes the flower to shrivel up in seconds. Jessie and James look at the dead flower and both began thinking of another, much faster way to eliminate Eddy.

"Or, to save what limited funds we have as it is, I'll just poison the punk with this potent potion," reasoned Jessie. She holds up a flask containing a red substance and hands it to James. "Can you feel the power, James?"

"Oh yeah, I feel it!" James answers with a mischievous grin.

"We are so close to victory, I can almost taste it. Its dinner time!" Jessie proclaimed. Lightning and thunder can be heard as a foreshadowing omen to the evil plan beginning to unfold.

* * *

StarReader 86: Uh oh, it looks like our Eddy is going to get a lot more than food in the next chapter.

Eddy: Ha! I'm the star of this story, nothing's going to happen to me!

StarReader86 (looking at the readers): Famous last words. It's a good thing he never saw the original movie. Anyways, read and review!


	4. Chicken anyone?

**Author's notes:** Sorry for taking so long with my last update! With my semester coming to end and graduation in a few weeks (Class of 2008! Woo Hoo!), I will **try** to update my stories on a weekly basis, key word is 'try.' Anyways, I present to you eager readers, chapter 4!

As a way of showing that there was 'no hard feelings,' Jessie told Eddy that her birthday gift for him was a private feast in his honor. Eddy loved getting gifts, so he accepted the invitation instantly.

A few minutes before Eddy was to arrive, James sets a table by lighting two candles and placing it on the table. Dressed in a magenta and orange colored gown and magenta evening gloves, Jessie saunters up to James and asks, "Is everything ready?"

"Yep, I was thinking of starting off with the appetizers, clam chowder and a light Caesar salad, and then see what Eddy will want to eat afterwards."

Jessie growls. "Urrggh, no! Not the dinner, I was talking about the, well you know…"

The realization of what Jessie was getting at dawns on James as he states, "Oh, silly me. You were talking about the poison for Eddy, weren't you?" Showing impatience and annoyance at James' dimwittedness, Jessie snaps, "Yes! Now where is it?"

Reaching into his pocket, James takes out a vial of red potion with a label of a skull on it.

"Right here in my pocket," he tells Jessie.

"Great, when Eddy arrives, all you have to do is pour a few drops of the poison in his drink, and then, I'll propose a toast for his birthday, which he'll never get to see, ha ha ha ha!" Jessie laughs evilly. "The twerp will be dead before dessert!" With a glum face, James says, "Which is a shame, because I was going to bake him a delicious cake, yum!"

Before Jessie could scold James to focus back on the big plan, Eddy bursts through the door with his signature "Boom, bam, baby!" phrase.

After sitting himself at the table, Eddy stretches his hands out as he announces, "Enough small talk, let's get some chow! You're looking at one hungry, and handsome, emperor tonight!" Leaning back on his chair and placing his feet on the table, Eddy looks at Jessie saying, "Cooking all this food for me, I can tell you've gotten over being fired already, right?"

With a forced grin on her face, Jessie answers through clenched teeth, "Yes. I got over it. James, be a dear and prepare the emperor's drink."

"Oh right, the 'drink,' James replies as he gives a not-very-subtle conspiring wink at Jessie which only elicited a groan from her. James walks over to a little stand, located behind Eddy, and pours fruit punch in three cups. Looking back to make sure Eddy wasn't watching him, he averts his attention to the task at hand, poisoning the emperor's beverage. With his back to the emperor, James pours the scarlet poison in one of the cups, the one reserved for Eddy. The poison gave a small explosion as it made contact with the punch and red smoke wafted from the cup. But Eddy paid no attention to what was going on behind him.

With the poison mixed in with the red punch, James returns to the table while carrying a tray holding the three drinks.

"Your beverage, your highness."

Before he picked up his drink, Eddy sniffs the air and asks, "Hey, what's burning?"

Puzzled before turning to shock, James gasps, "Aah! My barbecue wings!" He dashes out of the room and into the kitchen to save his entrée.

Eddy and Jessie faced each other without saying a word as they waited for James' return. But after five minutes, Eddy speaks up, hoping to break the awkward silence. "So…for an idiot, James seems nice," he says.

"Yeah, he's okay" Jessie answers.

"So…is it true that he likes wearing dresses?" Eddy asks.

"Um…," Jessie pauses, hoping to avoid answering the question. Before the conversation could get any weirder, James returns with a plate of barbecued wings, celery and a cup of ranch sauce.

"I'm back! I saved them before they got burnt to a crisp," James announces like he's just saved the day, or in this case, stopped another conversation about his quirks. "Great, good job!" both Jessie and Eddy said simultaneously. The dinner could finally begin.

As he sets the plate down in front of Eddy, James warns Eddy, "Be careful, the wings are still hot!" Impatient that their plan to poison Eddy was going too slow, Jessie decides to speed up the process. "James, don't you think the emperor is going to need a **drink** to wash down those wings?"

Hearing her emphasis on 'drink,' James remembered that he didn't give Eddy his drink yet. "Oh, right. Sorry," James stammers as he goes back to the tray with the three cups.

'_Now which one's Eddy's?'_ James thinks as he looks at the drinks, but unfortunately, he can't tell which of the drinks is poisoned. After preventing his food from almost going up in smoke, he forgot which drink he poured the poison in. Knowing that he bungled Jessie's plan, he sweats nervously as he returns to the table with the drinks.

"Hey, Jim? Where's my drink? I don't have all day!" said Eddy who was wondering what was taking so long as an annoyed Jessie was also wondering. James looks at the vial that contained the poison and saw that it was empty. James began to panic. He didn't know what to do, until an idea popped up. He decides to mix the drinks together so that all three had some poison, since he couldn't identify the one drink that he originally poisoned. He grabs a nearby vase, removing the flowers while pouring out the water, then, he pours the contents of each cup into the vase.

As he swirls the punch in the vase, James stutters, "Um, I think the drinks are going to be a bit on the…" Thinking that the punch is mixed enough, James pours it into the three cups, "….warm side." Hastily, he puts the cups onto the tray and places the tray onto the table. Trying to mask his panic, James says off-handedly, "So has anyone seen the sky today? It's a wonderful shade of blue."

"Fascinating, James," Jessie mutters grimly, but her tone lightens up as she says, "And now, I shall give a toast to Eddy!" James gives Jessie her cup and Eddy his while saving the last cup for himself. Jessie raises her cup and announces, "Long live the emperor!" '_Which will soon be ME_,' she thinks as she grins wickedly.

Eddy toasts in his own style be swirling the punch around, then tossing the liquid up out of the cup and catching it in his mouth. Standing behind Eddy, James whispers to Jessie, "Ix-nay on the unch-pay…it's poison!" He points at his cup and then makes a hand gesture by sliding his finger across his throat to further emphasize that drinking the punch could be deadly. Jessie immediately catches on and dumps her drink in a nearby potted plant while Eddy was drinking his punch. James gives the impression that he's drinking his punch by making the cup pour out the liquid next to the side of his mouth.

Finishing off his drink, Eddy exclaims, "Whew! Tangy!" As soon as he said that, Eddy loses consciousness and his head bangs onto the table.

"Finally, its about time! Nice work, James!" Jessie remarks and is now relishing that she can now rule all of Ed-topia.

"Thanks, Jessie! Barbecue wings are easy to cook, I can get you the recipe." Ignoring James, Jessie decides to proceed on with the plan. "Now all we have to do is get rid of the twerp's body…"

However, much to Jessie and Jame's shock, Eddy springs back to his original position without showing any signs of his unconscious state.

"Now, what we were doing?" Eddy asks, clearly not having any memory of what transpired earlier. Jessie couldn't think of what to say, she thought the poison had killed the annoying twerp instantly, but now he's still alive!

Trying to overcome her shock, Jessie stammers, "Um, uh, we were just making a toast to your long and glorious…" Before she could finish her sentence, something strange happened. Eddy's three hair strands changed into a giant red comb with three deep indentions separating the whole comb.

"…reign," Jessie finishes, astonished at Eddy's strange transformation.

"You got that right, sister. I'm this country's best success story! Too bad I can't say the same about you…," Eddy remarks while totally oblivious to what was happening to him.

"I mean, after all, you were a nobody from Team Rocket…." As Eddy continues, blue, flowing tail feathers sprouted up behind him, still he doesn't notice anything weird.

"…and by nobody, I mean a total loser." Then, Eddy's arms and hands suddenly change into mustard yellow-feathered wings. As Eddy's legs and feet change into red talons, he rambles on, "After all, no one else around here is going to hire a loser, well except me, since I'm so generous." As if to indicate that last part of his comment was a complete lie, a yellow beak emerged and stretched out from his face where his nose and mouth used to be like Pinocchio's nose.

"Hey, Jim, be a pal and top me off, will ya?" Eddy says as he raises his cup, surprisingly not seeing his new wings.

As Eddy's torso and face becomes covered with mustard-yellow feathers, he continues saying to Jessie, "Plus, it might be hard for someone with as much wrinkles as you to actually find work."

Normally, Jessie herself would have undergone a transformation into a red faced, fiery eyed raging banshee after listening to anyone insulted her looks and her competence as a former Team Rocket agent. But she was more worried about Eddy finding out what was happening to him than her wounded pride. So to make sure Eddy doesn't find out, he needed to be unconscious.

Taking two barbecued wings, Jessie smacks one piece on top of the other piece, in a hitting motion. She looks at James, who is still behind Eddy, and tries to signal to him. As she smacks the wings together, Jessie whispers "Hit him on the ead-hay." But clueless James mistakenly asks, "Do you want more chicken, Jessie?" thinking that she wanted more wings. "Aargh, idiot," Jessie angrily growls. Then she pounds her right fist against her left palm. James, who has seen that gesture quite often from Jessie, finally gets the message.

"I could pull some strings, but let's face it, the best job for that pruny mug of yours would be the village scarecrow." Before Eddy could continue insulting Jessie under the guise of being helpful, James brings the plate of wings forcibly down onto his head, which knocked the boy out into la-la-land.

"A CHICKEN?! He was supposed to kick the bucket, not be Col. Sander's chicken bucket mascot," yells Jessie as she looks at the unconscious Eddy. "What could have gone wrong?"

"I might be wrong, Jessie, but maybe it had something to do with this potion?"

"I know, maybe it had something to do with this potion" Jessie exclaims as if she had just thought of it instead of James. "Gee, why didn't I think of that?" James mutters sarcastically.

Jessie glares at him before demanding, "Let me see that vial, hurry up!" After James hands her the glass vial, she examines the label placed in front of the vial. At first glance, the label resembles that of a skull, which should have meant the potion was indeed poison or something more deadly. However, the label was folded inward, so Jessie lifts up the label and smooths it out. Instead of a skull, the label actually had an image of a chicken.

Throwing the vial at James in anger, Jessie screeches, "James, you moron! Why on earth did you get the potion that turns people into chickens?!" As the vial crashes against the wall, nearly missing him, James reasons, "It's not my fault! Your potions all look alike, I got confused! You should consider relabeling them for next time."

'_There won't be a next time. Not if that brat wakes up.'_ Jessie begins to sweat because if Eddy were to wake up and finds out that the two of them turned him into a chicken, she could kiss her dreams of being empress and maybe her life, goodbye. The only way to save herself was to get rid of the emperor, then take over in his absence.

"Never mind that, I want you to take him out of town and finish the job!"

"Ah, but Jessie," James whines, "What about dinner? I went through so much trouble preparing it!"

"Who cares about your dinner? My future as empress is hanging over the balance!"

"Okay, but what about dessert? I made some rice cakes with a strawberry filling.

Thinking that they could wait just a little bit, Jessie says, "Even though I need to watch my gorgeous figure, I guess a cake or two wouldn't hurt."

Ecstatic because now his desserts would not be a total waste, James gleefully responds, "All right, one rice cake coming up. Would you like some coffee to go with that?"

"Yes, I'll have some coffee too, but make sure it's decaf." Then reverting back to her earlier commander mode, she yells, "THEN TAKE HIM OUT OF TOWN AND FINISH THE JOB!"

After much pigging out on rice cakes and coffee, James is found outside holding a mysterious sack. He zips to and from each corner making sure that no one spotted him.

After a long absence, Eddy's narrator voice is heard again. "I'm back folks. Can you guess where I am right now? I'll give you a hint. I'm not in the jawbreaker vault, which would have been a zillion times better than where I am right now. For those of you who say I'm in the sack, congratulations, you all get a jawbreaker! Ha, gotcha! The jawbreakers' are mine, ALL MINE, ha ha ha ha ha!"

Hearing crickets in the audience, Eddy's narrator voice continues, "Uh hmm. Right. So, you still think I'm not the victim here? Watch this, it only gets better."

James goes down a flight of stairs as he hums Smashmouth's All-Star, unfortunately, off-key. Narrator Eddy protests, "Oh come on! Now he has his own theme music? He's ripping me off. Someone get me a lawyer stat!" As James continues to hum his song choice, Eddy groans, "Great. Its bad enough that he's wimpy and a moron. Now the guy can't even hum. Good thing I wasn't awake to hear any of this."

Finally, James arrives at a bridge and promptly heaves the sack into the river underneath the bridge. As he watches the sack being carried away, James sports a satisfied grin as he rubs his hands together. "Well, that takes care of that. Now to get back to the palace."

But just as James is about to head back, he turns around and looks at where the river was actually flowing. It turns out the river is connected to a gigantic, long waterfall and the sack plus Eddy was dangerously close to the turnoff point where the river flows into the waterfall.

James considers his options. On the one hand, he didn't hate Eddy as much as Jessie did, even if he was an annoying twerp, but there was the unpleasant possibility of Jessie finding out that he didn't 'finish off' Eddy as she told him to. So what was a guy to do?

James then heard a small voice that said, "You're not seriously going to let him die like this, are you?" He turned to the direction of that voice and saw a miniature man in a white, angelic dress with wings, halo, and harp in hand. But something about this angel was familiar.

"Uh, aren't you the conscience of that big, dumb guy in the original story?"

Sure enough, the angel was the shoulder angel for Kronk from the first and second movie. "If you're here, then that means…" James wonders. On cue, a miniature figure dressed all in red with horns on his head and a pitchfork and tail appeared. It was Kronk's shoulder devil.

James was utterly confused. "Why are you two here? Shouldn't I have consciences that look more like me?"

"You would think so. But StarReader86 thought it would be a 'creative twist'— Devil Kronk uses quotation gestures for 'creative twist'— if some of the original characters were in this parody." Devil Kronk then vanished into thin air.

"Besides, we haven't got much work since those two movies, so we figured our cameo will lead to acting in other fanfiction stories," explains Angel Kronk, who then whispers, "Hint, hint" to the readers.

Out of nowhere, StarReader86's voice is heard saying, "Its cool, James. These two are going to be your consciences for this story. I've given them the script, so they know their lines. Sorry for the interruption, folks." the author apologizes. "Now, back to the story!"

The story resumes with James pulling out his script and looking to where he left off. "Hmm, let's see…Ah! Here we are!" After putting away the script, he clears his throat and says, "My shoulder angel?"

"Ah, don't listen to that wuss!" That comment belonged to a miniature devil who looked like Kronk, but for now is James' bad conscience or Bad James, pops up again on James' other shoulder.

"He's just trying to turn you into a big softie. But just stick with me, Jimmy, and I'll show you how to be evil, and by evil, I mean cool!"

Insulted, 'Good James' responds, "Oh, be quiet!"

"No, you be quiet!" counters 'Bad James.'

"No, you!"

"Nuh-uh, you!"

"You infinity!" Good James yells.

"You infinity squared," smirked Bad James. Good James bends his harp in frustration at having lost an argument to the dark side.

Suddenly, what appears to be a list appears in Bad James's hands. Putting on a pair of reading glasses, he states, "With this list here, Jimmy, I can give you three good reasons why you should just walk away. One," Bad James mockingly points at Good James, "Come on, look at this guy! Are you going to listen to someone who spends his free time playing a sissy stringy music thing-a-ma-jig?"

"How many times must we go through with this? Its. A. Harp. and you know it!" said an frustrated Good James.

"Sure, that's a 'harp' and that thing you're wearing is a dress."

"IT'S A ROBE!!"

"Whatever. Reason number two, check this out…" Bad James sets the list down and performs a handstand on James' shoulder. "What do you think of that, huh?"

"Uh, that's nice and all, but what does a handstand have to do with my moral dilemma?" asks James. After all, doing gymnastics was not going to solve anything.

"Well hang on a minute, he might be onto something," remarks Good James.

Looking at his good conscience with an incredulous look, James knew that neither of his so-called moral guides were going to be much help to him.

"Listen, I appreciate the help, but you two are kind of confusing me, so if you could I don't know…poof away or whatever it is you guys do?"

"That's fine with me," shrugs Bad James and he and his good counterpart poof away into thin air.

Not having much time to make his decision and save Eddy at the same time, James decides to save him. Just as the sack was about to fall down the waterfall, James grabs it just in time. Suddenly, the story shifts from the waterfall to somewhere in the jungle where a monkey wearing a green cap backwards and a red shirt named Jake Spidermonkey is eating a banana.

"Okay, what's with the ugly chimp and the banana? This isn't Curious George. Let's get back to the star of this parody, ME!" says Narrator Eddy, annoyed that the focus was off him for a brief second.

Holding the sack carrying Eddy's unconscious body, James begins running through town while fretting over another problem. "Okay, I saved the twerp from a watery grave, but now what to do with him?" James asks himself.

In the meantime, a downcast Edd is placing the last of the produce he bought at the farmer's market in a cart which was harnessed to his lovable, but dumb-looking white horse, Pharfignewton. He thought it would be wise to stock up on some food to feed his family and friends since they won't have anything left when their village is destroyed tomorrow.

"Oh, what am I going to do? How can I tell the village that they will have to move out by tomorrow because their homes will be destroyed? They entrusted me the position of the village leader but I've let them all down."

While Edd was thinking of the best way to break the news to the villagers, James continues to think of how to solve his own problem.

"C'mon, James. Think! You can do it," he tells himself as he runs down the stairs at a dangerous pace. In his thinking process, he doesn't look where he is going as he steps on the bandaged tail of a sleeping blue cat named Furball. Furball screeches in pain and leaps upon James' startled face causing both of them to fall down the stairs.

During his fall, James loses his grip on the sack and it begins falling down the stairs and into a nearby cart. James, however, keeps on falling down the stairs while yelling, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, hey a nickel, ow, ow… until he reaches the bottom of the stairs with a banged up Furball on his head.

"Get off me, you flea-bitten feline!"

James grabs the cat by the neck and tosses him away. "Now where's that sack?" He searches the area and sees it in a nearby cart. Unfortunately, the cart belonged to Edd which was being pulled by Pharfignewton. With his mind mostly on telling the bad news to his loved ones, Edd is unaware of the additional package in his cart.

"Hey, wait a minute! Stop!" James yells as he chases after Edd. But there were too many people between him and the boy, preventing him from reaching him and being heard. "Excuse me! Pardon me! Hey, watch where you're going!" he says to the people walking around him. He spots Edd and yells, "Hey, you, the twerp with the cart! Come back!" But it was too late, Edd and his cart were long gone.

James begins to get nervous. He knew he screwed it up big time. Jessie was going to kill him if she ever finds out that Eddy was still alive. "So, for my sake and well-being, I hope Eddy doesn't come back," James grimly states.

* * *

Eddy: Why the heck did ya turn me into a chicken? I HATE BIRDS!!

StarReader 86: First off, technically, I turned you into a rooster and second, steamed broccoli was my alternative choice. Do you still want to be something else?

Eddy: Gulp Shutting up!

StarReader 86: In the next chapter, you will see one of my favorite cartoon crossover couple featuring Double D and the mysterious girlfriend and his 'cousins.' Since this is an Ed, Edd, Eddy-centered fanfic, you will also get to see Ed! _Applause and squeals are heard from the audience _Thank you and once again, READ AND REVIEW!


	5. Close Encounter of the Ed kind

Author's Note: My apologies for the lateness of this chapter. After going through exams, graduation **(Yes, I'm a 2008 GRAD! WOO HOO!),** and unpacking my stuff, I'm just getting back to the story. Trust me, I have not given up on this story, so for my loyal fans, thank you for your patience! Without further ado, here is the long-awaited chapter 5!

* * *

Riding on the back of his horse, Pharfignewton, Edd looks back at the market and the palace. With a dejected face and a heavy heart, he sighs as he slowly makes the long way back home. Throughout the journey, he passes a tall, gray mountain, a rickety old wooden bridge, and goes through the lush jungle. By the time Edd arrives at the village, it is already nightfall with the moon and the stars twinkling the sky. Edd looks at the serene setting and feels a sense of peace at how beautiful the village appeared under the twinkling sky. But he immediately feels sorrowful knowing that this will be the last time, he will see his village like this again, because tomorrow it will all be demolished.

Carrying the heavy burden of telling his family the bad news, Edd sighs again as he begins the climb towards his house located on a hilltop. In the house, there are three girls and a female teenager standing around the door. On one side of this door, there appears to be an old, measuring chart in the shape of a chicken with the marks of six generations' worth of people in Edd's family who had their heights measured.

"Hey! I think I'm growing! Measure me again!" said one of the girls in a high-pitched voice. The girl has huge light blue-colored eyes, blond hair in two short pigtails, and is wearing a light blue dress with a black stripe in the middle over white stockings and black Mary Jane shoes. Her name is Bubbles.

"Very well, Bubbles. But you must stand still first," chuckled the female teenager. The teenager's name is Starfire. She is a beautiful tan-skinned Tamaranean alien with long, straight red hair, some of it covering her forehead in bangs, and piercing green eyes. She is wearing a sleeveless purple top, short purple skirt, a pair of armored gloves with an onyx gems on each one, and long, purple boots covering most of her legs and feet.

"Let us see how much of the growing you have done."

"Starfire, there's no way that Bubbles grew any taller since the last 5 minutes. It is scientifically impossible for anyone to grow that fast, even for superheroines like us," said the second girl. This girl's appearance was very much similar to Bubbles except that her eyes and dress were pink and she had long red-orange hair with a red bow on top of it. Her name is Blossom.

"Ah quit acting like a know-it-all, Blossom. You think you're so smart, but you're not," quipped the third girl. She shared the same style dress as Bubbles and Blossom, but the color of her dress and eyes were light green and her black hair is styled in a short flip. Her name is Buttercup.

While Blossom and Buttercup argued, Starfire decides to play a joke on the distracted Blossom by marking a line several inches above Bubbles' head. In pretend shock, Starfire gasps, "Oh Bubbles! You have grown so tremendously since last time!"

"What? Really?" says Blossom in disbelief when she heard Starfire's exclamation of Bubbles' miraculous growth.' In her excitement, she rushes over to the measuring chart without taking a good look at Starfire's mark of Bubbles' supposed height and pushes Bubbles aside.

"Come on, Starfire, measure me! I've probably grown a foot since my last turn," Blossom exclaims. "Then it's my turn. I bet I'm taller than you two," boasted Buttercup.

Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, also known as the Powerpuff Girls, were created by the renowned scientist and their father figure, Professor Utonium. Of all his nephews, Edd was Utonium's favorite, because they both shared a love and intellect for science. Whenever they had time off from their busy schedules, Professor Utonium and the Powerpuff Girls would pay a visit to Edd's house. This allowed Edd to get to know the super-powered trio and affectionately consider them his cousins,' even though they weren't blood related. A few months ago, Utonium embarked on a space research project with other well-known scientists like James Possible from Middleton and Professor Frink from Springfield. In his absence, he had the girls stay with Edd until he returned.

As for Starfire, her story began when she landed in Edd's village after escaping from the Gordanians, hostile aliens who captured her and planned to sell her to the highest bidder **(A.N. I got this info. from Wikipedia and Teen Titans: Go! episode)**. When Edd ran outside to see the commotion, he found the exhausted Tamaranean and offered his home so she could rest and eat. Though she was initially wary of the Earthling, she felt that Edd was genuinely sincere and did not have any hidden motives to harm her. While recovering from her crash landing, she told Edd her story, from her life as a princess on planet Tamaran to how she wound up on Earth. Edd was very fascinated by the alien princess and wanted to know more about her and about life in outer space. He told Starfire that she was welcome to stay as long as she would like. She accepted his offer.

Over time, a close friendship developed between them. Edd taught Starfire the English language and explained the customs of his village while answering all of Starfire's questions about Earth and human life with patience and enthusiasm. Starfire also taught Edd a thing or two, one of which was her detailed descriptions of Tamaran and all the planets and creatures she encountered in the galaxies. It often pleased and amused her how excited Edd would be whenever he asked her about life in outer space.

As the two began to know more about each other, they began to value each other's companionship and the close bond they shared with each other, until they both began to realize their intimate feelings for each other. While Starfire was more open with her feelings for Edd, Edd was much more apprehensive of having a romantic relationship with Starfire, mostly because of his unpleasant experiences with a wild, blue-haired girl named Marie Kanker. Plus, he often used logical reasoning to convince him not to pursue a relationship other than friendship with Starfire. But with all of his rationalizing, he could not ignore his feelings and his bond with Starfire. One night, the two began to talk as they usually did, then the conversation began to shift towards the topic they both were afraid to approach, until Edd, using all the courage he could muster up within himself, told Starfire that he cared for her and, with a hesitated whisper, that he loved her. Overjoyed, Starfire told him that she also had mutual feelings for him. When the two looked at each other as if it were the first time, their lips slowly made contact and made a sweet, intimate kiss.

After that night, Edd and Starfire enjoyed their newfound relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend and often did the same things together: taking care of the chickens, overseeing the village, and recently, taking care of the Powerpuff girls. Even though Edd missed his parents, he felt fortunate to have Starfire and his cousins' in his life because to him, they were his family.

As Starfire began measuring Buttercup, Bubbles flew out the door and spots Edd who had just settled his cart and was in the process of unhitching Pharfignewton.

With unbridled joy, Bubbles squeals, "Hey, everyone, Double D's back!"

Hearing Bubbles' announcement, Blossom and Buttercup join their sister as all three fly towards Edd at a break neck speed. Without warning, Edd was tackled to ground as the three girls hugged him as he hugged them in return. Then, the girls held onto Edd as they began flying back to the house.

"Guess what, Double D? I ate a bug!" exclaimed Buttercup.

"Let me guess, Starfire cooked dinner again," Edd said half-jokingly.

"How'd you know?" asked Blossom.

"Oh, just a hunch."

Edd knew Starfire had a passion for cooking meals that to most human beings, himself included, left them sick to their stomachs, but tasted heavenly to her. Whether it was their superfast metabolism or they had the power to be immune to Starfire's meals, the Powerpuff Girls were surprisingly not affected too much by her cooking.

"Hee hee, she even gave us mustard to drink! I think I'll drink ketchup next time, it tastes so sweet!" said Bubbles, while Edd tried his best not to gag at the thought of anyone drinking a condiment as a beverage.

When the four arrive at the door, the girls released Edd just as Starfire came up and embraced Edd in one of her infamous, bone-crushing hugs.

"Double D! I am happy that you are home and that you have returned safely from your trip to see the emperor!" exclaimed Starfire.

"Uh, Starfire, I appreciate the welcome, but I can't—squeak—breathe…need oxygen," Edd gasped.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Starfire released her grip on Edd, who gave the impression of an accordion, but momentarily stretched out to his original shape.

"That's okay, Starfire. I always look forward to your hugs, even if it crushes my lungs half the time," Edd tells Starfire with an assuring smile letting her know that he was okay.

"DOUBLE DEEEE, Ah Ha Ha Ha….!" a voice boomed from within the house.

"Oh, no, not again. Ed, stop!" Edd called out to his friend. But too late, a large yellow-skinned teenager, wearing a green jacket over a red and white striped shirt and gray-blue jeans, with a thick black unibrow across his forehead, came barreling towards the trembling Edd.

As Edd had called him, his name is Ed, just Ed. Not only is he Edd's best friend, but he is also Edd's partner in raising the village's chickens, particularly because of his love or unhealthy obsession of chickens. With his house nearby Edd's, he often came over to hang out with Edd and Starfire and play with the Powerpuff Girls, who valued him as a dumb, but loveable big brother and playmate. Since Edd's house had enough rooms to house Starfire and the Powerpuff Girls, he often slept over.

The phrase, opposites attract' must be a true fact of life, because Ed and Edd were as opposite as they come. Ed was as dumb, incoherent, and messy as Edd was smart, articulate, and neat. But Edd treasures his friendship with Ed and has affectionately thought of Ed as a loveable oaf.'

"DOG PI-I-L-L-E-E!"

Unfortunately Ed was going to be more 'oaf' than loveable as he belly flopped onto Edd. Not wanting to miss a good dog pile, Buttercup joined in on the human heap, then Bubbles and Blossom joined in on the fun. The laughter from Ed and the Powerpuff Girls drowned out Edd's cries of protest for them to get off him.

As all four gradually got off of Edd, the poor teen was literally flatter than a pancake. A worried Starfire bent down towards him and asked, "Oh Double D, are you okay?"

Before he answered her, Edd places his thumb in his mouth and blew into it until his flattened body snapped back into its original shape.

"No need for alarm, Starfire. As you can see, I'm quite alright. So how was everyone else's day?"

"We were all measured today," said Buttercup as she and her sisters hovered around the measuring chart.

"Well how about that," remarks Edd with a knowing grin as he sees the mark Starfire made on purpose to encourage the girls' interests in measuring their heights.

"I think I'm going through a growth spurt, after all, I'm at the age where I should be growing rapidly. Pretty soon I will be as tall as you were when you were my age," said Blossom.

"You're probably right."

"Look, I got another loose tooth, Double D!" Bubbles squeals, and then shows it off by wiggling her tooth back and forth.

"You're going to get a visit from the tooth fairy. And she will leave you a bowl of gravy, just like when I lost my tooth," guffaws Ed.

"Yuck! I'll just take a coloring book, and maybe some new crayons," responds Bubbles.

"Okay, everyone, remember what I told you? You could stay awake until Double D comes home and then its time of bed," says Starfire.

"Ugh, bed time?! Bed times are for babies!" whines Buttercup.

"Now, Buttercup, we need our sleep. As Ben Franklin once said, "Early to bed, early to rise…." quotes Blossom. But she is ignored as Buttercup, Bubbles, and Ed look up at Edd with pleading faces.

"Please Double D! Can't we stay up a little longer?" asks Bubbles.

"Bed-time not good for Ed!"

Then all three look at Edd with bambi eyes and quivering lips, hoping that he will cave in and let them stay up.

Edd pauses with a look of uncertainty across his face, but then puts on a smile as if to appear that he was swayed by their pleas.

"Very well, all of you can stay up past your bedtimes." Before he continues, Edd winks at Starfire to let her know he was setting them up for a trick. "As for us, we will be expressing our love for each other in the most poetic and eloquent manner, right my sweet angelic Starfire?" Edd says as he looks adoringly at her.

"Awww, how romantic!" cooed Bubbles and Blossom as they looked at the teenage couple. However, Ed and Buttercup did not share the same sentiments.

"Ewwww! Mushy stuff! Run away!" yelps Ed as he flees out the front door.

"Oh gross! I'm going to sleep just so I won't hear any of this love garbage. Good night," grumbled Buttercup as she flew into the bedroom that she shared with Blossom and Bubbles.

Blossom and Bubbles chirped "Good night!" and flew off to bed as well.

Edd and Starfire laughed since they knew that their flirting was a sure fire way to get Ed and the girls to leave and give them some privacy.

"Tell me, what did Emperor Eddy request?"

Since arriving at the house, Edd dreaded the moment his girlfriend or his cousins would ask him about his visit with the emperor. Given that Starfire and the Powerpuff girls were very powerful and were a scary force to be reckoned with if angered, Edd decided to try to lessen the blow behind the news by lying, just a little.

"Um, actually the emperor was unable to speak with me," Edd answered nervously.

Starfire was confused, because she knew that the letter was very urgent and that it was important for Edd to go see the emperor.

"I do not understand. If the emperor requested your presence so urgently, why then could he not see you when you came as he asked?"

"Um, I really have no idea," Edd stammered, feeling guilty that he was lying to Starfire.

Starfire, who was not one to show anger, begin to get upset. "The emperor must be a…a jerk' as your people say or what I would call him, a blorkbag.'

"Starfire, your language, please! The girls may hear you," He didn't know why, but for some reason, Edd couldn't help defending the emperor.

"Let's not forget that he is the emperor, and with all of his imperial duties, I'm certain that he's sometimes too busy that he may forget his own appointments."

"That is no excuse! On my planet, the ruler always showed courtesy to all the citizens of the kingdom from the highest lord to the lowest peasant. If Eddy is a worthy ruler, he should treat everyone with respect and civility," Starfire angrily exclaimed.

"Starfire…" Edd hoped to calm Starfire down especially since her green eyes were beginning to glow and this only happened whenever she was angry and was seconds away from battle mode.

Ignoring Edd, Starfire continues on saying, "I should go see the emperor and demand that he apologize for his rudeness and make him fulfill his appointment with you." Edd believed Starfire, she had the fury, the strength, and the fire'-power to force the petite emperor to comply with her demands.

"Starfire, I appreciate your concern and you're right, perhaps the emperor wasn't too gracious, but I don't want you to get upset over this."

"I know Double D, it's just that I don't like to see anyone mistreating you. And when that happens, I sometimes just…just…," Starfire throttles her hands as green beams emerged from her hands, but quickly dies down. She looks at Edd sadly, then drifts over to the sink. Picking up a dirty dish and a washrag, she says, "I'm going to do the washing of dishes, it makes me feel better."

Edd sighs as Starfire flies into the kitchen. He really hated to see her so glum especially since he was the reason for her sadness, but he knew that the truth would have made her even more sad and possibly angry.

He walks over to the chicken-shaped measuring chart and looks at it with both remembrance and sorrow. He, his father, and his father's father and so on had all measured themselves when they were young. Sure, to some outsider, this chart may not appear to have any value and if anything just tacky looking. But to Edd, it was one of the few things that have lasted throughout his family's generations. But by tomorrow, the chart as well as everything inside the home would be destroyed by Eddy's construction crew.

Starfire pokes her head outside of the kitchen and sees her distraught boyfriend looking at the measuring chart.

"Double D? Are you all right? What is troubling you?"

Looking at her deep green eyes filled with worry, Edd could not bring himself to telling her what was really on his mind. So once again, he lied.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, yes I'm all right. I'm just a little tired from the trip." Edd sighs once more and continues to say, "I'm going outside to make sure Pharfignewton is settled in for the night."

Edd slowly walks outside and leads Pharfignewton and the cart to a corral, where Ed, after settling down from seeing Edd's and Starfire's lovey-dovey scene, is happily munching on dandelions near the gate entrance to the corral. Edd, who is too distressed to even scold Ed on his eating habits, quietly gives Ed the reins so he could lead Pharfignewton into her pen. Ed notices his friend's uncharacteristically silent and sad state and asks, "Are you okay, Double D? Did the gremlins steal your kumquats?"

Used to hearing Ed's strange questions, Edd shakes his head and says, "No Ed, my kumquats are secured in the cupboards. I'm okay, just a little tired. Could you please take Pharfignewton into her pen and give her some hay?"

"Can do Buckaroo! C'mon Pharfy, let's get you some hay and I will read you a bedtime story, 'Captain Meathead and the Noodle Invaders,' my favorite," Ed says as he leads the delighted horse into the pen.

Edd sits down on a nearby log as he looks at them and treasures the happiness of both his friend and his horse, lifting his spirits up a little. However, reality sets in and he quickly returns to his sad state remembering what was to happen tomorrow. Edd buries his head in his hands while thinking over in his mind, "Oh dear! What to do, what to do? Is there even anything I can do?"

Before Edd could even answer that thought, the story abruptly comes to a halt. During this pause, Eddy, the chicken version, pokes his feathered head out and looks at the readers.

Nervously chuckling, Eddy says, "Hey folks! Did you miss me? If so, I don't blame you a bit. So far this story's been about this chump or those two loser lackeys of mine. Then, Eddy begins to jump and flap his wings about while yelling, "This story is all about ME and I haven't had any lines in this chapter at all!! What gives?!"

After he stops freaking out, a calmer, but still annoyed Eddy pulls out a red marker. "Alright, let's go over this one more time." He circles the sack in the cart and adds several arrows pointing at the sack, then says, "This story is about me, you hear that? ME! Not sockhead, not lumpy, not even that stupid horse!" He draws an X over Edd, Ed, and Pharfignewton to emphasize his point.

"Got it? Good. Now let's get to the story….about ME!" Eddy leaves, but then quickly comes back to completely mark out Edd. Feeling like he was being watched, he looks back at the readers and realizes that he's caught red-handed or in this case, red-marked. Giving a nervous grin, he says, "Uhhh…see ya!" and quickly leaves the scene. With that out the way, the story now continues.

Still stewing over his dilemma, Edd gets up from the log and begins walking towards the house. As he walks past his cart, he notices the mysterious sack and that it was moving!

"What on earth…? says Edd as he looks at the sack without recollection of it being in the cart when he left the marketplace. "Ed, come quick, I need your assistance."

"Comin' Double D!" Ed jogs over to where Edd is standing and looks at the sack with a spaced-out look on his face. But that look quickly changes into one of glee as he exclaims, "Santa came early, Double D! He left us his sack of Christmas goodies!"

"I highly doubt that, Ed. First off, why would Santa make his annual trip in the middle of July and even if this is Santa's sack, doesn't it strike you strange he would leave it in MY cart of all places?!"

Grabbing Edd's shoulders and holding him close to his face, Ed cautions, "Never question Santa, Double D," and then speaking in a conspiratory whisper, "He works in mysterious ways."

Looking back at Ed with his usual befuddled look whenever Ed said something bizarre, he responds, "Yes, well, lets just see what's in this peculiar sack, shall we?"

"Okay, Double D." Ed releases his friend and both slowly venture to the sack. As they approach the cart, they both open the sack and to their shock, the head of a dazed, half-conscious chicken pops out of the bag. "What in the world? Where on earth did you come from?" asks a surprised Edd. To his great shock, Eddy groans in response, "Hey, back off, pal! Nooo touchy!"

Both Edd and Ed scream, Edd because he never encountered a talking chicken before and Ed screamed because Edd was screaming.

"Dear Lord! That chicken just talked!!"

Ed broke out of his screaming spell, and exclaimed, "A talking chicken, cool! Can I keep him, Double D?!"

Hearing all the commotion, Eddy regains full consciousness as he heard the two yelling about a talking chicken. "Talking chicken, where, where?!" he asks, but when he turns around he is face to face with Pharfignewton. When he sees the horse, Eddy freaks out and screams his head off which causes Pharfignewton to scream also.

"What's going on? Where am I? How did I get here?" Screaming, Eddy jumps up from the cart, runs past Edd and Ed, and begins running. He is so scared out of his mind that he doesn't realize that he is about to run into a nearby wooden fence. By the time he looks up, its too late. Head meets wooden fence causing Eddy to slump to the ground with stars floating around his head.

Both boys run up to the unconscious chicken, Edd out of concern for the strange foul, but Ed out of pure joy to see this new chicken. Reaching Eddy first, Ed hoists him up and locks him in a tight embrace.

"Santa gave me my very own chicken! I must have a very good boy! Then, he begins spinning around while saying, "I am going to feed you, and hug you, and love you, and call you Giblet, Giblet!"

When he finally catches up to Ed, Edd exclaims, "Ed! You release the poor creature at once! You're suffocating it!"

"Awww" groans Ed, but he complies and drops Eddy on to the ground, unfortunately on his head. This knock to the noggin breaks Eddy from his stupor and he begins reeling from a headache from the sudden drop. "Owww, anyone got the number to that semi?!"

Edd drops to his knees and slowly crawls towards the chicken hoping that he wouldn't startle it again. Using a soothing voice that he often used with his chickens, he says, "Its okay. We are not going to hurt you, you are quite safe here. My friend and I truly do apologize for scaring you and that we will attend to your injuries immediately. Can you please tell us where you came from and how you acquired the human ability to speak?"

"Do you want me to kiss your boo-boo, Giblet?" added Ed.

Eddy glares at both boys. "What the heck are you morons blabbering about?"

He then shifts his attention to Edd and his eyes bug out upon looking at the guy. Thinking that he saw this guy before, he exclaims, "Hey, wait a minute! I KNOW YOU!" Eddy instantly sits upright as memories of his encounter with Edd came back to his mind. Pointing at him with his feathered finger, Eddy angrily states, "Now I remember, you're that gap-toothed punk who whined about my summer palace!"

Edd was overcome with confusion as he listened to the chicken's accusation. But as he heard the words summer palace,' he knew only one person that would have any kind of palace. "Emperor Eddy? Is that you?" inquires Edd.

"No duh! Who do you think you were talking to? Elvis?!" snaps Eddy.

Edd was completely baffled. This chicken standing before him was the emperor Eddy himself. _But how could that possibly be? I just saw him a few hours ago.'_ Despite his thoughts, his vision told him otherwise, because the emperor was no longer a human, but somehow turned into a chicken. Although Edd's inquisitive mind wanted to know how this happened, he felt that that issue would be dealt with later, now was the time to try to calm down the irate midget.

"Well, you see," Edd began, "You are no longer the human manifestation of yourself, your highness."

"Uh, in plain English," quipped an irritated Eddy.

"What I'm trying to say is…is that you don't quite look like yourself. You…uh…look like a… uh…" Edd stammered, not really knowing the best way to tell Eddy about his appearance. Fortunately, Ed stepped in and blurted out, "You look like a chicken, Giblet!"

"Who's Giblet? And who are you callin' chicken, monobrow?!" Eddy responded.

Your highness, what my friend is trying to say is…well, wave your hand across your face, like so," Edd instructed, believing that this was the best way to show Eddy what he, for some reason, couldn't see.

"Is this some stupid game you loser peasants play or some-…" Eddy remarks as he copies Edd's movements, but he cuts off whatever he was going to say as he sees a feathered wing replacing his human hand.

"AAH! What the heck…? Where did these feathers come from?!" The astonished emperor runs over to a nearby pond and looks at his reflection. The shocked Eddy now realizes what the two dopes were talking about, he has become a chicken!

Eddy throws himself on the ground and pounds the surface in a tantrum. "AAHHH!! This can't be happening to me! I'm a freak of nature!" Then, he begins sobbing, "Wahh! My face, my devilishly handsome face is gone!"

Hoping to calm him down, both out of concern for the emperor and out of fear that his family will hear the commotion, Edd kneels towards Eddy's level and pats his shoulder awkwardly. "There, there, its going to be okay! I'm sure there's a logical reason for your, uh, transformation."

Ignoring Edd, Eddy continues saying, "I'm an ugly, stinkin' chicken!"

Even Ed tries to shush Eddy. "Sshhhh. Please be quiet, Giblet!"

"CHICKEN FACE!" Eddy cries hysterically as he covers his face with his wings and kicks up his feet.

Seeing that calming Eddy was having the opposite effect, Edd decided that asking him questions about his appearance may help them get to the bottom of the problem. "What exactly happened to you?" Edd asked.

"Hey, I'm trying to figure that out myself, alright?" Eddy snaps, as he tries to lift himself from the ground, but not being used to having talons for feet or wings for that matter, he stumbles over and falls flat back on the ground.

Eddy begins laughing hysterically and then says, "I'm losing my mind here! I can't remember a thing! Hey wait…," Eddy looks up at Edd, "…I remember you. I told you about my plans on building my summer pad where your cruddy, little house was, and then you got mad and…" Eddy gasps as if he just realized something, then gives Edd a suspicious, angry glare.

"You! You did this! You turned me into a chicken!" accused Eddy.

"What?! I did no such thing!" snapped Edd. Even though he would do anything to keep his village from being torn down, he would never resort to doing something so mean and underhanded, it just wasn't in his nature.

"Yes you did! You and lumpy over there kidnapped me and turned me into a chicken, so 'fess up!"

"That makes no sense! Why would I or Ed kidnap a chicken?!" At hearing the word 'chicken,' Ed jumps in and says, "I love chickens, Double D!"

"I don't know! You're the smart guy around here, not me!" retorted Eddy.

'_Hmph. I certainly agree with that statement,'_ a flustered Edd thinks, but what he actually says is, "For the last time, neither I nor Ed had anything to do with your metamorphosis, even though the process indeed seems intriguing."

Realizing that Edd and his friend probably didn't have a hand in his unexplainable transformation, Eddy drops his glare and adopts a cool glance at Edd.

"Heh, you're right. You're too much of a goody-goody geek and mono-brow over there can't even stand on his own two feet…," both boys glance at Ed who has just tripped over his feet and fell flat on his face while doing his usual oafish laugh, "…I'm giving you guys waaayyy too much credit! Ha Ha Ha!"

Turning away from the insulted Edd, he begins thinking of a way to change himself back to normal. Suddenly, an idea comes to his mind!

"Hey, I know! I'll just go back to the palace. Jessie has that "secret lab"—Eddy uses his wings to make air quotes on 'secret lab' since everyone and their mama in Ed-topia knows Jessie has her own lab in the palace— "so, I'll just snap my fingers, order her to make me human again, and I can go back to building my awesome summer paradise! Ha, what a great plan, it can't fail!"

Edd and Ed watch Eddy as he grabs a fence railing to prop himself on his wobbly feet. Eddy glares at the boys as he barks, "Look, I don't have all day! Get a move on you two!" When neither of the boys moved from their spots, Eddy continues ordering them. "Hey, are you deaf or just plain dumb? Get off your lazy butts and take me to the palace, NOW!"

Ed dutifully begins to move towards Eddy, but Edd holds his arm out in front of Ed, turns to his confused friend and shakes his head. Not only was Edd fed up with Eddy's ungrateful, bossy, and inconsiderate attitude, but more importantly, he knew that Eddy would continue on with his plan to demolish his village to build his summerhouse once he returned to the palace. If there was any a time to stop the emperor, this was it!

With a calm, collected expression, Edd looks at Eddy and says, "With all due respect_, your highness_, I think you should build your summerhouse somewhere else."

"WHAT?!" Eddy looks back at Edd, he couldn't believe that this guy was actually not going to help him. Trying to maintain his cool, Eddy slowly walks back to Edd as he says, "Heh, I must be hearing things, because I know you're not telling ME, the EMPEROR, to build MY place someplace else, am I right?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I am saying. That is why I have a proposition for you. If you agree to build your summerhouse somewhere else, then I'll be more than happy to take you to the palace. If not, then I simply can't let you go back until you change your mind. So what do you say?"

Putting on a submissive face, Eddy looks at Edd and says, "Well, if that's the way its got to be, there's only one thing I can say. Come closer, so I can tell you." Edd looked at him quizzically, but complied as he leans closer towards him with his ear close to Eddy's mouth. "I want to hear the secret too, Giblet!" remarks Ed, who leans in closer towards Edd so that he could hear what Eddy had to say.

"Oh don't worry Lumpy, this is for you too!" Then Eddy whispers in Edd's ear: "_I don't_…MAKE DEALS WITH STUPID PEASANTS!" That last part causing both boys to jump back and partial deafness in their ears from that outburst.

"Well then, I am afraid that I can't take you back," says Edd as he fingers out his ear to regain his hearing. "Come on, Ed, we're leaving." With Ed walking beside him, Edd walks back to the house with the confidence that Eddy would eventually agree to his terms and not do something foolish like trying to get back to the palace by himself. Unfortunately Eddy was that foolish!

"Aw, who needs ya? I'll find my own way back. I'm a born explorer!" brags Eddy as he begins walking away.

"Oh dear," mutters Edd as he runs up in front of Eddy. Despite the mean things the emperor has done, Edd still didn't want anything bad to happen to him, which will happen if he goes off in the jungle by himself at night!

"Your highness, wait! Please reconsider what you're about to do. The jungle is a perilous place to walk through if you don't know the right direction to go."

"Ha! Nice try, Double Dweeb, but you can't fool me!" Eddy pushes aside Edd and continues walking towards the jungle.

"This is not a joke, I'm serious. There are jaguars, snakes, quicksand, and…shudder…microscopic viral germs. It's not safe, your highness," Edd pleads, hoping that Eddy will believe him and not insist on putting himself in danger.

"La la la la la, I can't hear you! I'm not listening!" Eddy says, placing his wings over his ears, wherever they are, as he ignores Edd's pleas in a childish manner.

Ed tries to convince his precious pet from leaving to his doom. "Giblet, come back! Or the hungry, hungry hippos will get you and eat you!"

"Ha ha! Yeah right!" Eddy who's too focused on being a jerk doesn't look where he is going and finds himself tripping over a rock in the middle of the road. With his face to the ground, Eddy mutters, "Still not listening! And my name's not Giblet!" He pushes himself up and resumes walking towards the jungle.

"Wait, come back! You…," but Edd stops as Eddy's figure vanishes into the lush green jungle surroundings. "Fine! Go ahead! Put yourself in mortal danger, maybe you might learn something after all," yells the frustrated Edd.

As he begins walking back to his house, Ed runs up to him with a concerned look on his face. "Uh, Double Dee, aren't we going to follow Giblet?"

"No, Ed," Edd firmly answers. "Eddy, I mean Giblet, made his choice and now he'll have to face the consequences. Besides, if he fails to reach the palace, and he will, then he can't build his summerhouse, which means we won't have to move. You don't want to move away, do you Ed?"

"No! Moving bad for Ed! I want to stay here!"

"So do I Ed, which is why we didn't help the emperor. Besides, I'm sure that he'll be fine."

But as the boys began walking towards the house, they both turned towards the jungle with concerned looks.

'_Then again, perhaps I could be wrong'_ Edd thinks.

'_GIBLE-E-T-T,'_ Ed thinks.

* * *

Editor's (my brother) Note: For all of you RobinxStarfire fans, you all have my condolences as I have no control over the horrible pairing that has occurred in this story. You will just have to bear with it this time.

StarReader86: Hey, what did I tell you about commenting against me?!

Editor: Uh oh, gotta run folks, see you next chapter!

Ed/Edd/Eddy: Read and Review!!


	6. Trouble in Ed Paradise

As he walked through the thick jungle, Eddy laughed out loud at how Edd and Ed were trying to stop him from getting to his palace. Eddy thought those two were just trying to con him, after all, he had a history of conning his servants and of some of the townspeople who fell for his scams. _'Yeah, they acted like they were worried about me, but I saw right though those lamebrains' act. They should know that you can't con the master of scams, like me,'_ thought the smug chicken-emperor.

Remembering what the boys had told about the dangerous jungle, Eddy looked at the jungle surroundings in pretend fright.

"Oooh, look at this creepy jungle. Aah! A leaf, it might bite me! And look, a mean old tree! Oh, I'm sooo scared!"

Then Eddy reverted back to his cocky self. "Those guys think I can't find my way out of this dump? Puh-lease! I'm the emperor, so this jungle is MY turf. I'll find the best shortcut and I'll be out of this place quicker than you can say…"

"…where the heck am I?" Eddy looked all around and him and realized that he had absolutely no idea where he was. As the confused emperor tried to get some clue as to where he was in the jungle, he heard a tiny cry. He turned his head and spotted a spider's web with a fly fighting for his life to free itself from the sticky web.

"Help me! Help me! Help me!" the fly screamed as a large hungry spider crawled closer towards it. But it was too late. The spider gobbled up the fly in the most disgusting manner, which entirely grossed out Eddy.

"Geez, if I wanted to watch nature being disgusting, I'd watch it on the Discovery Channel."

Eddy instantly forgot about the spider when he heard a deep, growling noise coming from some plants close by. He grew terrified as he imagined what carnivorous, man-eating beast was just waiting to maul him, a wolf, a tiger, a…

…three chipmunks?!

Sure enough, three furry little chipmunks dressed in hoodies popped out from behind the plants and stood on a log. The chipmunk in the center of the trio is wearing a red hoodie with a yellow 'A' in the front, his name is Alvin. To Alvin's left, the other, slightly taller chipmunk is wearing a blue hoodie and blue-rimmed glasses, his name is Simon. To Alvin's right, the other, chubbier chipmunk is wearing a green hoodie, his name is Theodore. Together they were known as 'Alvin and the Chipmunks.'

Eddy looked at them with annoyance, because one, they had scared him with all that growling, though he would never admit that, and two, next to birds, he didn't like cute, furry creatures.

"Well? What do you rodents want?!" he barked.

"Hey, guys. Let's give Big Bird here some acorns. He might buy our CD if we give him something," Alvin said to his brothers, who nodded in agreement. All three held up an acorn each in their hands and hoisted them up for Eddy to take, with the trio saying, "Come and get it!"

Like most people, Eddy couldn't speak 'chipmunk' so all he heard were chirps and squeaks coming from their mouths. The abundant noise only increased his dislike for the chipmunks. He decided to get rid of the pests once and for all.

"Is all this for me? Aw, you shouldn't have," said Eddy, putting on an innocent face, coupled with a set of bambi-like eyes and a toothy grin, as he took each of their acorns in his wings. The chipmunks looked at each other excitedly, thinking that they had just made Eddy's day and possibly a sale of their debut album.

But the trio was given an unpleasant and painful surprise as Eddy chucked the acorns at them, each one hitting a chipmunk on his head. "Get lost, ya little Disney rejects!" Eddy snapped, then stuck his long green tongue out at them. Turning away, he resumed his trek while the chipmunks raised their fists and uttered things that thankfully he couldn't understand.

Eddy didn't walk too far along when he tripped over a tree root and began rolling downward. After crashing into a lot of tree branches and leaves, he finally lands on the ground with a painful thud. "Owww…" Eddy groans as he struggles to get up from the ground, but what he later sees has made him forget about his pain and has made his blood run cold. Whether it was his own bad luck or he was cruel fate's newest victim, Eddy finds that he landed smack dab in the middle of a pack of sleeping wolves **(A.N. wolves from Beauty and the Beast)**. Fortunately, his crash landing didn't wake up the beasts but Eddy didn't want to press what little luck he had at the risk of getting eaten.

Before Eddy could even make his exit, the three chipmunks he had chased away earlier suddenly appeared. Alvin, Simon, and Theodore give Eddy mischievous smirks, knowing that they could make his current situation even worse for him. They huddled together with Alvin saying, "Now its payback time! You guys in?" with his brothers responding, "Uh huh!" Simon pulls out a red balloon and gives it to Theodore, who blows into it. Once the balloon was inflated, Alvin takes it and twists it around until it looked liked a chicken, Eddy the chicken to be exact. Eddy watches in fear as Alvin pulls out a sharp needle and holds it dangerously close to the balloon.

"Aah! No, no, no, don't!" Eddy frantically whispers. The chipmunks nod their heads as if to say "Yes, yes!" as Alvin closes the distance between the needle and the balloon.

"Please! Don't do it, don't…"

POP!

It was too late, Alvin had popped the balloon. Eddy closes his eyes and covers the top of his head with his wings, expecting the wolves to jump him. But when Eddy opens his eyes, the wolves surprisingly were still asleep, even though the balloon's pop was extremely loud. Feeling cocky that the chipmunks' ploy didn't work, Eddy points at the furry trio and sneers, "HA HA!" Unfortunately for Eddy, his outburst was just the thing that woke the wolves up. As the wolves crowded around the trembling chicken emperor, snarling and growling at him with bared fangs, Eddy had only two things to say:

"Not cool!"

Eddy bolted as fast as his scrawny legs could carry him. The emperor dashed through the jungle foliage hoping to lose the wolves who were right on his feathered tail. So many thoughts entered his mind, which included Edd and Ed's warnings, how many times he skipped gym class, and the most morbid thought of the wolves chomping on his feathered body if they ever catch him! As Eddy's mind was racing, he ran into a low tree branch, which caused him to land on one of the wolves. The wolf he landed on snarls at him and roughly throws Eddy off of its back, causing him to fly through some of the trees. On his way down, Eddy remembers that he has wings and begins flapping them to make his landing much smoother. As he gently lands on a cliff, Eddy thinks, _'Finally, something's actually working for me_,' but his victory is cut short as the menacing wolf pack began to approach him.

"Ha ha. Easy now. Nice wolves. Nice killer wolves…"stutters the shaky emperor. He takes a step back and almost falls backward. Eddy looks behind him and sees how high up the cliff he really is. Now he has two very unpleasant choices, he can either jump to his death off the cliff or get eaten by ravenous wolves. '_Either way, I'm a dead man. Nothing can save me, now.'_

Just as Eddy finished that thought, out of nowhere, he hears a loud yell with the following words.

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE…!"

Eddy, as well as the wolves, turn toward the direction of the booming voice and see two teenage boys, one on top of another, swinging on a vine. At the top is Edd, looking scared out of his wits, holding tightly to the vine with a large backpack strapped to his back. Below him is Ed, the one who quoted the line from 'George of the Jungle', who appears to be having fun swinging on the vine. To say Eddy was surprise would be understatement, he never thought that those guys would actually come back and save him, but here they were, coming to his rescue. As the Eds began getting closer, Eddy looks back at the wolves with a smug grin, believing that he was going to be out of there and that those wolves were out of luck. But the boys end up missing their intended target, swinging right past Eddy and the wolves who had ducked, then glared at them for interrupting their attack.

Now Eddy began getting nervous. His would-be rescuers are gone which now leaves him facing a pack of voracious wolves. But like a pendulum, the Eds came swinging right back, this time, they were able to grab Eddy before the wolves could pounce on him!

Clutching Eddy in his free arm, Ed looks down and said, "You're safe with us, Giblet!" "Ed's right. Rest assured, your majesty, you are in good hands. You are safe with us," remarks Edd. But no sooner does Edd say that, the swinging vine leads the boys to a nearby tree, and due to the fast rate the boys are swinging, they are unable to stop themselves from swinging into the tree. In a blink of an eye, the boys wind up getting tied to the tree by the vine in a fast, dizzying process.

"If this is your idea of 'safe', then you guys have buttered toasts for brains!" snapped Eddy.

"Mmm! Buttered toast," cooed Ed, who loved buttered toast as much as he loved gravy and chickens.

"I know the recent turn of events have not been in our favor, your highness, but we must look on the bright side. At least this tree hasn't fractured which would lead to a perilous drop into the river depths," reasoned Edd.

Again, Edd's timing is off as the tree's roots starts to break away from the ground, causing the tree and its tied hostages to lean, little by little, downward.

"I hate you," wryly remarks Eddy, as the last root breaks off from the ground, causing the tree to topple over the cliff. Trapped, the Eds have no choice but to endure getting hit by various objects and debris on their downward drop into the river. Once they finally landed in the river, the tree bobbed in and out of the water like a rubber cork. Even when the tree settled down, the Eds were plunged into the river rapids, causing them to hit some of the rocks embedded in the water.

After awhile, the rapids die down and the tree is gently floating down the river. This gives the Eds a chance to breathe and gather themselves. Since the Eds were spaced apart around the tree, Eddy spoke aloud for the other Eds to hear him.

"Remind me not to put this kind of water ride in my summer palace."

Before Edd could argue that there would not be a summer palace, at least where his village is concerned, he spots something up ahead that has made his insides turn upside down and inside and out.

"Oh, dear!"

"Don't tell me, Sockhead. We're about to go down a giant waterfall."

"I'm afraid so, at least at a 5 story drop."

"If we live, you think there are any quarters at the bottom?"

"I highly doubt it."

With steely eyes and a grim frown, Eddy mentally braces himself for the fall.

"It's showtime!"

Although the boys appear like specks against the vast rapidly flowing waterfall, it is not hard to tell who was screaming what.

"MOMMY!"

"Aahhhhhh!"

"COWABUNGA!"

Once the Eds had plunged into the bottom of the waterfall, the sharp rocks under the river had cut away the vine, allowing the boys to free themselves from the tree trunk. Since the whole waterfall experience tired them out, the Eds opted to float towards shore. When they reached the shore, Ed and Edd were able to walk out of the water towards land, but somebody was missing. Ed notices that Eddy is missing.

"Double D, where's Giblet?"

The Eds looked behind them and they spot Eddy facedown in the water as his lifeless, feathered body is beginning to slowly sink down into the water. Before Eddy could sink any further, Ed grabs him and carries him towards a spot on the shore.

"Ed, lay him out so we can see if he is still unconscious," instructs Edd. Ed obeys his friend's directions and sprawls out Eddy's body on his back. Concerned for Eddy's health, Edd attempts to see if he could bring the emperor back to consciousness.

"Your highness. Your highness, can you hear me?" Edd shakes Eddy's shoulders as he speaks to him. Despite his efforts, Eddy gives no response to Edd's words or touch.

Edd began to get anxious. He knew of one way to save Eddy, but he really didn't want to have to do it, since it would require some mouth-to-mouth action. While Ed didn't mind and actually liked to kiss their chickens on the beak, the thought of placing his mouth over an animal, even if it was the emperor, and getting who knows what kind of germs made Edd feel sick to his stomach.

"Your highness, please wake up! Just breathe, come on, breathe. Breathe, darn you!" Ed yells frantically. Unfortunately, Edd's fears were confirmed. Eddy was not breathing, which meant he would have to resuscitate him.

Trying his best not to think about catching germs or how unsanitary his next action would be, Edd tells Ed, "Stand back, Ed. I'm about to perform CPR on the emperor."

As Ed takes a few steps back, Edd whispers to himself, "Okay, Double D. You took that CPR seminar last summer and passed with flying colors. Remember everything you learned and you should do just fine." After making sure there were no stray objects around the emperor's mouth, Edd opens Eddy's beak, takes a huge breath, and begins leaning towards the mouth.

Just as Edd was going to breathe into the emperor, Eddy wakes up, all of sudden, with wide-opened eyes and the first thing he sees is Edd's pursed lips near, but not touching, his beak. When both boys made eye contact, Edd and Eddy jumped back from each other, all the while screaming "AHHHHH!" Both boys turned away from each other with nauseated looks on their faces as they realized that if Eddy hadn't woken up when he did, their mouths would have been touching each other. They looked back at each other and again, turned away in disgust, barely hearing Ed, who asked, "Is it my turn to kiss Giblet?"

Kneeling near the river, Eddy gargles water to wash away Edd's supposed boy cooties, thinking that Edd had kissed him. While Eddy was busy gargling, Edd was trying to make a fire. Taking out a box of matches from his waterproof backpack, Edd lights a match and adds it to a pile of sticks brought in by Ed. Glancing up from the small fire, Edd looks at Eddy and feels somewhat annoyed at the emperor's overdramatic reaction to the awkward moment earlier.

"For the last time, your highness, I did NOT kiss you. Contrary to some of the works found on Fanfiction and Deviantart, I AM CERTAINLY NOT GAY OR ATTRACTED TO YOU IN ANY WAY. I am already in a committed relationship with my beautiful, loving girlfriend who I simply adore, thank you very much."

"Who, Ed-weena over there?" retorts Eddy.

Edd looks over to see Ed, who just took his shoes and socks off and is blissfully sniffing his bare foot through his nostrils. He involuntarily gags and shudders at the disturbing sight.

Eddy gargles some more water, then spits the fluid on the fire, aggravating Edd even more as he lights another match to start a second fire.

"If you two had just followed my orders, I wouldn't be hurlin' from your little kiss," said Eddy, as he tries to dry his body out from the river by shaking all over. Much to Edd's displeasure, the moisture from Eddy's feathers instantly puts out the fire.

"But since you guys are here, here's the plan. You'll take me back to my palace. Then, Jessie will change me back to normal and I can get back to building "Eddy's Paradise"!" Taking a bunch of rocks and piling them up to look like a tower, Eddy places a stick at the top, all the while pretending that he was building his summer pad. Looking pleased at his creation, Eddy exclaims, "Yeah, baby!"

Shaking his head, Edd sighs as he realizes that Eddy still plans to build his summerhouse over his village. Even though he had tried before, Edd decides to try to persuade the emperor to change his mind…again.

"Perhaps, we got off on the wrong foot the first time we met. But now that we're both here, albeit by strange circumstances, we can discuss this in a more mature and reasonable way," says Edd.

"Yeah, yeah sure," says Eddy, half-heartedly listening.

"I know that if you really think about it, you'll come to the conclusion that it'd be the best for everyone involved if you constructed your summer getaway someplace else, preferably in an uninhabited area."

Without asking for his permission, Eddy grabs a towel from Edd's backpack to dry himself off. With a bored, I-could-really-care-less look, Eddy responds, "And I would do this why?" Before Edd could answer back, Eddy tosses the towel on Edd's little fire, putting it out for the third time. Looking at the scorched towel, Edd regains his composure by willing himself not to go against his nature by lashing out at the aggravating emperor.

"You should reconsider, because in your heart, you'll come to realize that your plans would entail forcing a lot of innocent people out of their homes, all just for you."

"And let me guess, that would be…_wrong_," Eddy says in a mocking, jeering tone.

"Exactly! After all, nobody is that selfish or uncaring. I strongly believe that there is good in every single person."

Eddy paused, as if he were truly thinking over what Edd has just said, then said, "Yeah." He paused again, but this time he said, "Alright, quit standing around! I want to get back to the palace while we're still burning daylight here!"

"Wait, what?!" Edd shouted. Facing the emperor with a look of shock and disbelief, Edd just couldn't understand why Eddy was so unbelievably stubborn. He figured that Eddy had seriously thought about how selfish his summer paradise plans were and that he would forgo building the house where his village stands.

"I cannot believe you! How…how can you even act this way?! You're going to be pushing numerous of villagers to the curb, so to speak, thereby causing many to be homeless. Yet the only thing you care about is your extravagant summer house and filling it up with expensive luxuries all for yourself!"

"Ehhh, who cares about some stupid villagers? The main thing is that I'm going to build the biggest, coolest summer palace anyone has ever seen and the best thing is that it's all for me, that's right, the numero uno!"

Approaching the frustrated Edd with an arrogant smirk, Eddy continues to say, "Everyone else gets with the program, everyone except you, that is. I guess you're not as smart as everyone says, huh, Double Dumb?"

With feelings of anger mixed with disappointment swelling within him, Edd responds to Eddy's jibe with some advice. "Mark my words. Someday, you're going to find yourself all alone because of your selfish, unkind ways and you'll have no one to blame for your loneliness but yourself."

"Thanks for the moral of the story," quips Eddy sarcastically. "Now, for the last time, take me back to the palace!"

'_Since it is quite obvious that Eddy won't change his mind, it looks like I'll have to keep up my end of the bargain,'_ Edd thinks.

"As I said earlier, I told you that unless you agree to change your plans, I won't be taking you back to the palace and neither will Ed."

As Edd goes back to start a fire, again, Eddy rolls his eyes at Edd. _'If he thinks he can break me that easily, he's dumber than I thought.' _

"Unless you agree to change your plans, I won't be taking you back. Blah, blah, blah," mocks Eddy, mimicking Edd's voice. Finding a rock nearby, he sports a mischievous grin as he takes aim at Edd's head. Fortunately for Edd, the emperor has never had good aim. Instead the rock hits Ed off to the side of his head.

"Hello! No one's home!" says the knocked out Ed, before falling flat to the ground.

Edd, who caught the whole act, glares disapprovingly at Eddy, who was failing miserably in trying to look innocent.

"What? What, I didn't do nothing. Some other jerk threw that rock. Hey, you gonna hurry up with that fire? I'm freezing!" Eddy then begins walking away toward a rock wall.

Edd sighs as his hope for Eddy in becoming a more selfless, caring person begins to diminish. "Who am I kidding? He's never going to change," he murmurs to himself as he tends to the fire.

Sitting on the rock wall, Eddy mutters, "Man, how the heck am I going to get back?" Even he was smart enough to know that he needed the two Eds to get out of the jungle in one piece. Although he desperately wanted to get back home, the one thing he wasn't willing to do was to agree to Edd's deal, after all, his summer paradise would be at stake!

When nightfall approached, Edd and Ed went inside the tent that both of them had set up after Edd took the tent package out of his backpack. After putting on their PJs and brushing their teeth, well Edd anyways brushed his teeth, both boys crawled into their sleeping bags.

"Good night, Ed."

"Good night, Double D."

Edd turned off his flashlight and both boys began to nod off to sleep. However, they heard a something that sounded like teeth chattering outside of their tent. The boys cautiously exited their tent and immediately found the source of the noise; it was the shivering chicken emperor himself! Despite his efforts, the cold hard ground that Eddy chose to sleep on made it hard for him to sleep. Although the Eds invited him to sleep in their tent, out of his stubborn pride, he declined their offer, even if it meant freezing his feathers off!

Wordlessly, Edd and Ed quietly pick up the quivering emperor and carry him inside their tent. Once there, Edd takes his pillow and places it under Eddy's head while Ed covers his body with his oversized green jacket. When they saw that Eddy had stopped shaking, they returned back to their sleeping bags to get some zzzzs. A few minutes later, Eddy instantly wakes up and looks around him, realizing that he's no longer outside freezing. Much to his great surprise, he sees Ed's jacket on him and feels Edd's soft pillow underneath his feathered head. Eddy then looks at the slumbering Eds while thinking, _'Why did they do this? No one's ever been this nice to me. I guess those guys are not as…'_ Feeling his heavy eyelids closing down, Eddy yawns, finishing his thoughts, _'…bad as I thought,'_ then finally drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Meanwhile, the townspeople and all of Eddy's servants gathered together at the palace to attend a funeral for their deceased despot. After James had supposedly killed off the emperor, Jessie wasted no time in telling everyone that the emperor has died and that his two dying wishes were for Jessie to take over as empress and that he be cremated, the latter to rid any questions of the whereabouts of Eddy's body. Standing before the crowd, Jessie, dressed all in black complete with a black veil covering her face, delivers a dramatic eulogy.

"And so, it is with a heavy heart, that we must bid a final farewell to our prince, who we all dearly knew and loved. Right before the eve of his 13th birthday, he was tragically taken away from us." With fake tears in her eyes and a hand across her heart, Jessie puts on the front of great compassion and sorrow for Emperor Eddy.

James, who is standing besides a painting of the cocky emperor, is crying, but unlike Jessie, his tears are somewhat genuine. Even though he saved Eddy from plummeting to his death from a waterfall, he felt a little guilty that Eddy, wherever he was, might not have fared any better. But to keep up appearances, James decides to put on a mourning act too.

"Poor little guy!" sobs James.

"Although his young life was cut short, his legacy will live on in all of our hearts…," continues Jessie.

"He never had a chance!" exclaims James.

"…for all eternity," Jessie ends with a dramatic pause. Quickly shifting gears, Jessie snatches off her funeral dress, revealing a red and purple regal gown, and puts on a triumphant smirk as she barks, "Okay, mourning times over. Everyone, back to work…," then says in a sad tone, "…it's what our beloved emperor would have wanted."

Dropping their ceremonial candles, the townspeople went back to work or back home while the servants went back to their duties. Eddy's popularity, or lack of it, was shown seeing as how no one cried or even spoke up at the funeral. Those who did say something were usually along the lines of "Eh, never really liked him, anyways," "He was such a dork," and "We're getting paid for this, right?"

But for the most part, everyone went back to their normal lives with little to no objections to being ruled under empress Jess. For example, Marge Simpson paints Jessie's face over Eddy's face on a vase and other painters are doing the same thing, painting Jessie's face on everything from the throne doors to the velvet curtains. As James is preparing her first dinner as empress, Jessie grins wickedly as she thinks, _'That twerp emperor is dead and I'm in charge. Everything is going according to plan.'_

"James, dear, I was a bit worried when you stupidly poisoned all of our drinks. But now that the twerp is gone for good, we can put the whole thing behind us and focus on my rule as empress."

"Yeah, yeah he's dead all right, without question," says James nervously. In his nervousness, he accidentally placed his mitt against the fire on top of the stove. "Yikes," he yelps as hurls the flaming mitt to the ground and begins stomping on it to put it out. After preventing a potential fire, James continues, "After all, you can't get much deader that he is right now. Not unless, we have to kill him again."

"I guess so." Although she was used to hearing off-the-wall comments from her partner, however, Jessie couldn't help thinking that this time, there may be more to James' babbling. _'Is he hiding something me?'_ she thinks , narrowing her eyes at James.

"Oh, look, the royal dresser's here." James makes his way over to Pleakley who has several outfits to show them. Normally, Jessie would have dropped everything to try on her new empress gowns, but for some reason, her thoughts on James' nervous behavior stayed in her mind. She was now wondering if James had really killed Eddy, because if he had, why would he be acting so strange.

"Uh, James?"

"Say, do you have this shirt in blue? It would go so well with that pair of pants and those shoes," James asks Pleakley, purposely focusing more of his attention on clothes than on Jessie.

"James."

"Then again, the shirt looks a bit too large. Do you have something in a smaller size?"

Before Pleakley could utter a word, Jessie roughly pushes the one-eyed alien out of the way and with both hands, she hoists the petrified James by his collar. "Eddy is dead, right?" growled Jessie. James whimpers knowing that the truth would put him through a world of pain.

Softening her voice to sound less threatening, Jessie coos, "James, all you have to do is tell me that Eddy's dead. It's so easy. I just need to hear those two magic words."

"It's a funny story, actually…" Before James could continue that classic excuse opener, Jessie abruptly drops him. "Do you mean to tell me that HE'S STILL ALIVE?!" screams Jessie, her fiery blue turned red eyes filled with rage and flames shooting out of her mouth.

"Uh, let's just say that he's not as dead as we thought he was," nervously stutters James.

"JAMES, YOU IDIOT!"

"Look at this way, Jess. If Eddy ever comes back, at least you won't be too surprised."

"NO! Don't you get it, you fool. He can't come back!" Jessie yells, knowing that if the rightful emperor were to return, everyone would find out what really happened to Eddy and she could kiss her dreams of empress goodbye!

"I guess after your heart-wrenching eulogy, it would be a little awkward if he were to show up."

"Forget about that!" Grabbing him by the collar, Jessie pulls James close to her face. "Since this is all your fault, you're going to help me find Eddy and make sure that he never comes back. If that twerp squeals, it's all over for us! Now, let's go!"

* * *

"Double D, watch out!" yells Buttercup. Bolting upright from whatever nightmare she had, her outburst did not stir her sisters, all of whom were sleeping in a large, green-pink-blue bed, with each girl sleeping in her respective colored side.

With her bedroom next to the Powerpuff Girls', Starfire heard the girl's screams and enters the girls' room. Creating a glowing, green orb in one of hands, Starfire uses it as a flashlight as she flies to Buttercup's side of the bed.

"Buttercup, what is the matter?" asked a concerned Starfire.

"I dreamt that Double D was tied to this tree and he was tossed around in this river like Bubbles' rag doll."

"Ssshhh, calm down, little Buttercup. It was all just a dream. Dreams are not real."

"For a dream, it sure as heck felt real," snaps Buttercup. Looking up at Starfire with doubt in her eyes, she asks, "Not that I'm scared or anything, but do you think…?" Before she could finish her statement, Starfire rests a comforting hand on Buttercup's shoulder.

"I am certain that Double D is quite safe and unharmed. He is on his way to see the emperor again and he will come back safely, just like he did before. You'll see."

Feeling a little bit more assured, Buttercup smiles. "Thanks, Starfire."

"You are more than welcome, Buttercup."

On the opposite side of the bed, Bubbles, who overheard the conversation, opens her eyes and adds, "Guess what? In my dream, Double D kissed a chicken!"

"Pfftt. Yeah right, that would never happen in a million years. The only thing Double D kisses is Starfire," sneers Buttercup, not noticing a faint blush appearing across Starfire's face.

"Hey, it could happen!" argues Bubbles.

"Nuh-uh!" snaps Buttercup.

"Uh-huh!" Bubbles snaps back.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

As the girls argued amongst themselves, Starfire giggles at how cute the girls get when they fight. Familiar with their bickering, she feels relieved knowing that the girls are back to normal and the nightmare Buttercup had is forgotten.

"Good night, little ones," says Starfire.

"Night, Starfire," Bubbles and Buttercup say simultaneously, but then quickly go back to their arguing. Starfire turns off the green glow in her hand and silently flies out of the room and back into her bedroom.

Five minutes later, the girls are still arguing:

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

Blossom, who is sandwiched between Buttercup and Bubbles, has remained quiet, until now…

"Will you two shut up?! I'm trying to sleep!"

Blossom's sudden outburst quickly ended any further arguments as everyone drifted off to slumber.

* * *

StarReader86: With all the main characters sleeping, except for Team Rocket, this chapter ended rather nicely, if I do say so myself. Anyways, please let me know if I got Ed's character downpat, I love the big guy but I'm not sure if I'm writing him very well.

Ed: Awww, turn that frown upside down. Hey Starfire, let's give StarReader a big hug! (Ed and Starfire gives terrified author a crushing hug)

Star (wheezes): Thanks, guys…but… can't breathe…read and review, folks…If just to make….these two happy enough…to stop squeezing me, yipe!


	7. Lifechanging Edperience

After waking up from his slumber the night before, Edd walks over to the pond near the campsite to wash up. He sighs as he scrubs his face with a loofah thinking about everything that had happened yesterday. The sound of feet belonging to a certain chicken interrupts his thoughts as the emperor sits down next to him.

"Hey. I, uh…" Eddy stalls for a moment, pulls Edd's pillow behind him and gives it to Edd. "Thanks for the…uh, you know."

"Oh. Well, uh, you're quite welcome." Edd promptly walks inside the tent and quietly packs his pillow inside his backpack so as not to disturb the slumbering Ed.

When Edd came back to his spot, an awkward silence descended upon the two boys. Given how their last conversation didn't end very well, neither boy knew exactly what to say to each other this morning. The silence was getting too uncomfortable for Eddy, who decided to say something, anything to break the tension.

"Nice pillow. Good and fluffy."

"It is a nice pillow, isn't it? Madame Foster did a superb job making it."

"Madame who?"

"Madame Foster. She is the founder of 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.' Ed and I visited her estate about a month ago."

"I heard that old lady is crazy."

Edd chuckled. After meeting with the petite matron?, he concluded that the woman was not completely sane of mind. "I admit that she is a bit…_eccentric_. Nevertheless, she runs a comfortable, warm, and friendly establishment for its imaginary residents. Ed and I both agreed that it was the perfect place for Jib."

"Who's Jib?"

"He was Ed's imaginary friend. There is an amusing story behind Ed's make-believe creation. I will have to tell you it sometime."

"Yeah. Knowing Ed, it's probably a doozy," Eddy exclaims, laughing a little with Edd joining in. True, Eddy only knew Ed for at least one night, but he could already tell that with a guy like Ed, life was anything but normal.

After the boys finished laughed, it became silent again. Ribbits from a nearby frog filled in the awkward silence between them. Again, Eddy broke the silence.

"Ya know, I've been thinking. When I get back home, I…uh… Eddy clears his throat, hoping to get out what he is trying to say. "Ya know what, there's a lotta hills out there, so I guess I could just pick another and…um…"

Edd couldn't believe his ears. It sounded to him that Eddy was actually considering building his summer paradise elsewhere, which meant that his village would stay intact. But Edd was never one to assume, so he asked, "So what you are trying to say is, is that you changed your mind? Is that correct?"

"You could say that…"

"Because I hope you understand that by building your summerhouse someplace else, you are actually doing a kind and selfless good deed." Edd didn't want to question the emperor's actions, but he wanted to make absolute sure that Eddy's decision was a sincere one, not one based on hidden motive.

"Yeah, of course I know that. What do ya take me for, anyways?"

Ignoring Eddy's comment, Edd asks one final question. "And you are absolutely sure that this is what you want to do?"

"Double D, I have never been more sure in my life. Trust me."

At that last statement, Edd couldn't help but feel a little suspicious of Eddy. He couldn't put his finger on it, but it seemed that Eddy was a little too relaxed in adjusting his plans. After all, he was very stubborn last night and refused to budge on the issue of changing his summer palace construction plans, but all of sudden, it wasn't a big deal to him anymore?! Something wasn't right about this.

Edd skeptically looked at Eddy, then edged closer towards him with a scrutinizing glare. Eddy squirmed under Edd's look, it felt like he was trying to see through him.

"What? I got something in my teeth?" Eddy asked half-jokingly.

Thinking over what would be the best way to see if Eddy was telling the truth, Edd finally decided to use an old-fashioned method: shaking hands. His father always told him that when two people shake hands on an issue, an unspoken agreement is created between both parties. With that in mind, Edd holds out a hand for Eddy to shake. Just as Eddy reaches in to shake his hand, Edd pulls it back.

"Once we shake hands, there is no turning back. I will take you to palace ONLY if you agree to follow through with your decision and build your house somewhere else. Are we in agreement?" Edd says with a serious, stern face as he holds out his hand again.

Eddy pauses for a minute, then nods his head as he shakes Edd's hands to seal the deal. Edd smiles with relief. Now that Eddy has agreed to change his plans, everything would be okay.

"Excellent. I'd better wake Ed up and get ready. We have a long way to go to get back to the palace." Edd begins walking back to the tent, but not before turning his head back at Eddy as he says, "Thank you, Eddy. You have no idea how much I truly appreciate this." As Edd goes inside the tent, Eddy, with an evil smirk on his face, thinks, _'No, thank __**you**__… sucker,' _as he chuckled to himself.

* * *

After Ed and Edd packed their belongings into Edd's backpack, the trio hiked their way through the inner jungle. Fortunately, the Eds didn't come across any dangerous animals, especially any chipmunks, as they made their way out of the jungle. It wasn't too long before they reached the same bridge that Edd took to get back home yesterday.

"If my calculations are correct, once we cross this bridge, it should only take us one hour to reach the palace," Edd explains.

"Great. I really need a good shower. I'm startin' to reek like Ed," Eddy said disgustedly as he sniffed underneath his wings to emphasize his point.

"Flattery will get you everywhere, my fine feathered friend," Ed says.

Eddy, who always liked to be first in everything, stepped onto the planks of the rickety old bridge with Edd and Ed following closely behind him. In the middle of the bridge, one of the worn-out boards underneath Edd suddenly comes loose, which causes him to fall and get tangled up in some of the ropes connected to the bridge.

"Double D!" Ed cries out, but before he can take a step forward to help his friend, the planks underneath him give out and he shares the same predicament as Edd. By this point, Eddy has seen the action taking place behind him, but hasn't budged from his spot to help the boys. With his beak curled in a smug smirk, Eddy deliberately ignores cries of "Eddy!" and "Giblet!" coming from underneath the bridge.

"Eddy, come quick!" yells Edd.

Eddy walks over, taking his sweet time, to the hole where Edd had fallen through. Looking down at the dangling boy, Eddy innocently asks "You called?" acting as if he didn't hear Edd's earlier cries for help.

"Eddy, you have to lift us up, quick! The ropes could give out any second now!"

"We need you, Giblet!" exclaims Ed, looking at Eddy with pleading eyes.

But much to the boys' shock, Eddy grins and says, "Naw, I think I'll pass. See ya!"

Although Ed looked more confused than anything else, Edd was downright flabbergasted. He couldn't believe what he had just heard coming from the emperor's mouth.

"You mean…You're just going to leave us here stranded?! Just like that?!" Edd yells incredulously.

"Well, I was gonna sentence you two for life in the dodgeball dungeon, but hey, this works out too."

"I thought you had changed for the better, Eddy. You said that you changed your mind about building your summerhouse over our village."

"Oh give me a break! I had to say something to trick you into taking back home. And you fell for it! Ha Ha Ha!" Eddy puts on an exaggerated gracious face and says in a tone mimicking Edd's voice, "Oh Eddy! You have no idea how much I truly appreciate this." Speaking in his normal voice, he continues, "Man, you're so easy to fool, Double D. Ha ha ha!"

Edd's face began to redden in anger as he heard the chicken emperor laughing and making fun of him. He had never felt so angry or betrayed by anyone before. What made it even worse was that he trusted Eddy and now, he and Ed were stuck dangling under the bridge, dangerously close to falling to their deaths.

"So all this time, you were lying to me!" accused Edd.

"Yeah. No, wait!" Eddy cocks his head to the side, looking like he was thinking of saying something else. But when he turns back to face Edd, he says, "Yeah, I was right. I was lying to ya. Have fun hangin' around, you two!"

Laughing like a jerk, Eddy takes a step forward to finish getting across the bridge. Before taking another step, he hears Edd yelling, "WE SHOOK HANDS ON IT! YOU BROKE OUR AGREEMENT!"

Eddy rolls his eyes. Didn't he get it? He tricked him. So why couldn't he just get over it, like he did? Nonetheless, Eddy walks back over to Edd and says, "You know what's funny about shaking hands? You actually need hands"— Eddy wiggles his wings at Edd— "Oh and FYI, a deal is more legit if it's on paper. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!"

Eddy laughs again, as he turns around to resume walking. Suddenly, the plank underneath his talons breaks apart and Eddy falls through screaming the whole way until he is tangled up in ropes like Edd and Ed.

Appearing to be concerned about Eddy, Edd asks, "Oh, my goodness. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"That's good. Now I won't have a guilty conscience to stop me from doing this!" All of sudden, Edd throws an unexpected punch in Eddy's left eye and kicks him in the knee.

"Ow!" Eddy glares at him while holding his injured knee with one wing and covering his eye with the other wing. "What the heck was that for?!" Eddy angrily demanded.

"You have a lot of nerve to even ask that! But to answer your question, that was for breaching our agreement."

Eddy swings over and sharply pecks Edd on the head, resulting in painful lumps underneath his hat. "Yeah, well that was for kidnapping me and taking me to your stupid village, which I'm still gonna destroy! Ha! No touchy!"

But Edd ignores Eddy by roughly shoving him. Eddy looks at him in disbelief since he never thought Edd to be the violent type. Furious, Edd snapped, "To think that I risked my life as well as Ed's to help such an ungrateful spoiled brat like you! I always believed that there was some good in every person, but after seeing the kind of person you are, I guess I was wrong. You are, without question, the most selfish, ill-mannered, mean-spirited person that I ever have had the misfortune to come in contact with!!"

"Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, I hurt Double Dweeb's feelings. I am such a bad chicken," Eddy said mockingly.

"I should have listened to my instincts and left you on your own in the jungle. At least some good would have come of that, because then my village would have been kept safe. But I risked it all to help you, so what does that say about me?!"

"That you're stupid and a complete idiot." Eddy remarks, further insulting Edd.

Edd couldn't take it anymore. Eddy had just thrown down the gauntlet with that last remark. Now it was on!

"That does it! I'm going to give you a well-deserved beating!"

"Bring it on!"

A bell ding is heard, ringing out of the blue, to signal the fight. Both boys glared at each other for a moment, then engaged in a sissy slap fight, the kind where people turn their heads away to avoid looking at each other while slapping their hands against their opponents' hands, like sissies.

"Guys, don't fight! There's a better way to solve your differences." Ed pauses, trying to think of one, then shouts out his bright idea. "I know! ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!"

Edd and Eddy ignore Ed's suggestion as they continue their pathetic sissy-slapping fight. However, the boys stop their fighting when they heard the sound of something snapping. To their horror, they see that the ropes are rapidly snapping off causing the bridge to collapse. As the entire bridge drops, the Eds are suspended in mid-air for a brief second, but then fall along with the bridge.

"London Bridge is falling!" Ed screams, as the other Eds scream at the top of their lungs. The Eds continue to plummet further down into the canyon, though Ed, since he was the heaviest, fell at a faster rate than Edd and Eddy. The farther the boys fell, the more narrow the canyon became until finally, the trio stopped at the end of the compacted canyon walls. Because he was the heaviest, Ed ended up at the bottom with Edd and Eddy right above him. The boys looked down and yelped at the sight of alligators jumping into the water below them, roaring and snapping their jaws in anticipation of their next meal.

"AAHH! What are we gonna do?! We're gonna die!" screamed Eddy. "I don't wanna die! I'm too young and handsome to be gator chow!"

"No! No, we are not going to die. If we all work together, we can come out of this unscathed," Edd reassures Eddy. As Edd contemplates a plan of escape, a flashing light bulb appears at the top of his head.

"Gentlemen, I've got an idea. Eddy, put out your arms." Eddy does so, to which Edd links his arms with his. "Alright, here's how it's going to work. I'm going to drop my backpack into the river to distract the alligators. When I say "Go," you and I are going to push against each other and then we are going to walk up the canyon walls together, step by step."

Edd looks down at Ed whose arms and legs are spread apart, allowing his hands and feet to touch the canyon walls to keep him from falling. "Ed, I need you to push us up with your head and use your hands and feet to walk at the same time we are. Does everyone understand what they need to do?"

"Aye, aye, Captain D!" responds Ed, who thankfully understood the game plan. However, Eddy wasn't nearly as confident. He shakes his head no, but Edd didn't see his gesture, so he took his silence as a sign that he understood what was going on.

"Okay, here goes." Edd shifts his backpack off of his shoulders. Once he got it off, Edd holds the backpack in his left hand and drops it into the water. The alligators immediately swarm over the backpack and proceeded to tear it to shreds. With the alligators' attention averted, Edd figured now was a good time to start climbing.

"Go!" Edd said, giving the signal to begin climbing. Edd pushed his back against Eddy, who didn't push back like he was supposed to. As a result, Edd ended up crushing Eddy against the canyon wall.

"Ow! Oh, real mature Double D. See how you like this!" Eddy pushed his back against Edd's in retaliation.

"Stop that! Look, we're going to have to put aside our differences and focus on working together. Now follow my lead. Are you ready? Right foot!"

"Uh, your right or mine?"

"Does it really matter whose foot we…? Oh never mind. I guess we'll go with my right foot," says Edd.

"Hey, why should we use your foot? What makes you so darn special?!" complains Eddy.

"Okay, fine, your right! Are you ready?"

"Yes, let's go!" Eddy said, feeling satisfied.

Starting with Eddy's right foot, the two begin to walk up the canyon with Ed pushing them up with his head as he walked in pace with them. While Edd paced themselves by saying, "Left, right," Eddy looks at how much progress they're making and is excited. The plan was actually working!

"Woo hoo! We're moving up! We're gonna live!"

But Eddy's excitement is short-lived as he looks down. To his horror, the alligators have abandoned the unrecognizable shredded mass that used to be Edd's backpack and are starring up at the boys with jaws snapping open and close, hoping that something else with more meat would fall.

Edd glances at Eddy and sees the fear etched on the chicken emperor's face. To keep their momentum going as well as instill some confidence in Eddy, Edd tries to encourage him. "Don't look down! Keep your eyes focused on your feet. You can do this, Eddy. Just stay with me." Once Eddy calmed down, the boys continued walking up the canyon sides with Edd repeating their mantra, "Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right!"

It was at this point that the Eds had reached a tight spot. The canyon walls had split too far apart so that Edd and Eddy couldn't walk any further nor could Ed's arms and legs stretch long enough to keep hold to the walls. The boys were now literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Now what, smart guy?!" Eddy snapped.

"I'm thinking up a plan as we speak," replied Edd. He looks around and notices some rope on a nearby tree, jutting out from his side of the canyon. The rope may be the key to their survival! Edd stretches his arm out, but it is too far away for him to reach the rope.

"Eddy, I need you to stretch your neck out as long as you can. It will give me the much needed boost to retrieve the rope," instructs Edd.

"Yeah, but how I do know you won't let me fall after you get the rope? After all, this is the best way for you to get rid of me," Eddy countered. He didn't like the idea of placing his life in the hands of a guy he didn't completely trust.

"If I let you fall, Ed would fall too and I have no desire to put either of you in jeopardy. I know this is hard for you, Eddy, but please, just trust me!"

He knew that this was a big gamble for him, one that would cost him dearly if he lost. However, something told him that he should trust Edd, whether it was his good conscience that he surprisingly had or remembering all the kind things Edd had done for him. Eddy groans as he stretches his short neck against Edd's back. This gives Edd a little bit of a boost, but it wasn't enough.

"Eddy, can you stretch your neck any further? I'm almost halfway there."

"Hey, I'm doing the best I can here!" Eddy snapped. Despite his efforts, his neck is too short to propel Edd upward.

"Allow me!" boasted Ed. He grasped one of Eddy's tailfeathers above his head and begins pumping it like it was a lever.

"Ed! What are you doin…" Eddy stops yelling as he sees his neck extending with every pumping motion Ed made with his tailfeather. Though this kind of phenomenon was seen exclusively in cartoons, Ed's demonstration increased Eddy's neck length long enough for Edd to reach out and successfully grab the rope.

"Thank you for your assistance, Eddy and you too, Ed. But remind me to ask you how you did that," says Edd.

Although Edd has the rope in his hands, but as he begins to pull himself and the other Eds up, he discovers that the rope is stuck on one of the tree's branches.

"Oh, dear. It's stuck!"

"Take your sweet time. I am just peachy down here," Eddy dryly murmurs.

Attempting to get the rope unstuck, Edd jostles the rope, but his shaking causes several unidentifiable objects to fall off the branch and settle upon Eddy's feathered outstretched neck. Feeling something crawling on his neck, Eddy peers down and with wide-open eyes, he screams in terror. "SCORPIONS! Get them off me!"

In his fearful state, he jumps back, but this causes him and Ed, who was underneath him, to fall.

"Eddy! Ed!" screamed Edd. He grabs Eddy's talon at the same time that Ed grabs a hold of Eddy's neck to keep himself from falling. Their grips caused Eddy to swing his head smack dab into a little hole on the canyon wall. As he looks down at Eddy and Ed to see if they are unharmed, Edd doesn't notice several more scorpions have crawled from the tree's branch and into the back of his shirt. In both panic and shock, Edd yelps out and smacks himself repeatedly against the wall to force the scorpions out of his shirt.

The thumping motion Edd is making stirs Eddy, opening his eyes to see hundreds of tiny, yellow eyes starring back at him. Instantly, Eddy found out the hard way that the little creatures were bats as they flew towards the exit, which happened to be Eddy's open beak. With the furry bats rapidly piling into his mouth, Eddy couldn't take it anymore. Spitting out the bats, he climbed the walls with superhuman strength and speed with Ed and Edd holding onto his body. In mere seconds, the trio landed back at the side of the bridge, exactly where they started. With shock, amazement, and exhaustion illustrated on their faces, the Eds look at each other and nervously chuckled. This chuckling soon led to full-blown, hysterical laughter as the Eds reacted to the crazy, dangerous, and mind-blowing experience they have just had.

But suddenly, without any warning, the ground begins collapsing underneath Edd's feet, throwing the teen off balance and leaning dangerously close over the side. His screams have caught the attention of Eddy and Ed who see Edd struggling to stop himself from falling over the edge.

"Look out!" Eddy cries out. He quickly grabs the back of Edd's shirt with his beak and yanks him away and safely drops him back on solid ground. Instantly going into gloat mode, Eddy laughs loudly, bragging at how victorious he was against the crumbling cliff.

"Oh Yeah! Who's da man wit the plan?! Eddy! That's right!" Eddy sidesteps over to the dazed Edd, still reeling from his second near-death experience, and says, "I snatched you right in mid-air." Then just as fast, he goes back to the cliff's edge to mock it. "Oooh, I'm a big and scary canyon wall and I'm going to destroy you!" Striking a heroic pose, Eddy continues, "I don't think so! Not on my watch!" Bobbing his head, he does the 'Walk like an Egyptian' dance all the while chanting, "Uh-huh…uh-huh. uh-huh. uh-huh…uh-huh." Then he does it all over again, with Ed, who loves to dance around, joining him in both dance and chant.

As he starred at the dancing duo, Edd is stunned by the emperor's self-less actions. Too shocked to put his thoughts into words, Edd stutters, "I…I don't believe it. You…just saved my life."

Though Ed continued dancing, Eddy stops his victory dance as he hears Edd's declaration. Despite his gloating, even he is surprised that he rescued Edd. For the first time, he actually helped someone without expecting to get anything in return. However, Eddy tries to play it off like it wasn't a huge deal as he says, "Yeah? What of it?"

Edd smirks. He could see right through Eddy's nonchalant façade. "I knew it" he boldly declared.

"Knew what?"

"That there is actually some good in you after all."

"What?! You're crazy!" protested Eddy, dismayed at the idea of him being a softie. "Your hat must be on too tight!"

Deliberately teasing him, Edd continues to say, "There's nothing to be ashamed of. Just admit that you like doing the right thing for others."

"You're wrong, Sockhead! With a Capital R!"

"Your incorrect spelling won't sway me, Eddy. I do believe that there is goodness inside of you."

"No way!"

"Well if there was absolutely no moral fiber in your body, then why did you rescue me, hmm? After all, you could have very well left me to fall to my death," Edd reasoned.

"Gimme a break, will ya? I'm not that mean and selfish!" angrily yelled Eddy, but as soon as he said that, he yelps in surprise. It was like déjà vu all over again with Eddy remembering Edd's accusations of him being a mean, selfish jerk. If he really was all that bad, then he would have let the dork fall and kept right on walking, not caring if he got hurt or not. Instead, he actually pulled Edd out of harm's way and ended up saving him.

But stubborn as always, Eddy refused to dwell on the notion that he could be a caring person and that he is capable of doing the right thing. He shrugs it off by saying, "Ehhh, I owed you one, Sockhead. You saved me from the wolves so I saved you from falling. So we're even."

"Okay, okay, we're even," chuckled Edd. Even though Eddy actually owed him twice, one for saving him from drowning in the river and the other for giving him a warm, comfortable place to sleep, Edd figured it wouldn't have done any good to correct him. He knew that Eddy would accept the truth when he was ready, but for now, he'll have to tolerate the emperor's excuses.

Looking out to where the bridge used to be, Edd states, "Without the bridge, I'm afraid we'll have to take the long way back to the palace. I wager that it will take us four days to get to our destination."

"Hey, wait a minute! You still want to take me back?!" Eddy was utterly confused. With all the trouble he has caused him and Ed, he couldn't understand why Edd was still willing to take him back to the palace.

"When I shook your hands, I promised to uphold my end of the bargain and I am a man of my word."

"Whatever. But remember, the minute I get back to the palace, Eddy's paradise is going up, baby!"

"Very well. But you never know, you might change your mind during the next four days," reasoned Edd. Then he calls out to Ed, who was still dancing. "Ed! We're leaving!" Ed momentarily stops in mid-dance and quickly makes his way over to Edd and Eddy. "Comin' Double D!"

As the trio begin walking, Eddy mulls over what Edd had said about their trip. "Four days, huh?" He gives a low whistle. "Fou-r-r-r days. Here's an idea: how about you guys carry me till we reach the palace?"

"Uh, no I don't think so," dryly remarked Edd.

* * *

StarReader86: Well, it looks like the boys are on their way to becoming friends. But will it last? Could something or somebody possibly break up the three Ed-keteers?

Jessie: Who cares about the twerps? When am I going to get my next scene?

StarReader86: Aw, keep your wig on, diva. You'll get your spotlight in the next chapter.

Jessie: Gasp How dare you slander my beautiful, silky hair?! My sophisticatedly styled hair is elegant, refined, and…."

StarReader86: (Turning to a mortified James) And yet you still put up with her. You have got my deepest sympathies. Okay, readers, you know the drill. Read and Review!


	8. Two Steps Forward, One Step Ed

Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long updating this story but I have just started a new job (YAY!). But b/c of the hectic schedule for my job, I will not be able to update as fast as I used to. But have no fear, this story will be completed! So, I hope you enjoy this latest chapter!

* * *

While the Eds were making their way to the palace, on the other side of the jungle, a frustrated yell could be heard echoing within the thick growth.

"No, no, no!" Jessie angrily screams as she crosses out several points on a map. Ever since James' 'confession' of the emperor still being alive, the Team Rocket duo have been frantically looking for him in several villages or at least some clues to his whereabouts. But if Jessie's frustration is any indication, it seems that they haven't found anything.

"We have gone to every two-bit village around the palace but still no sign of that twerp! Argh! Where could he be?!" she growls. Leaning back into her chair, she grabs hold of a nearby speaker and shouts into it. "JAMES!"

"Ah!" James winces at hearing his partner's shriek on the other end of the speaker, but nonetheless, he answers her.

"Yes, Jessie?"

"I'm getting tired. Pull over."

Looking at the readers, James exclaims exasperatedly, "She's tired?! I'm the one carrying her and pulling this infernal contraption for the last 15 miles!" Indeed, James was pulling a cloth-covered, two-wheeled rickshaw cart with the Team Rocket logo on it by the handles. He comes to a halt and gently places the rickshaw on the ground. Stepping out onto the ground, Jessie finds, much to her irritation, her gray boots are covered and stuck in brown, gooey mud. "Just great. I just got these boots polished," she groans as she struggles to get her boots unstuck. "I hate jungles!"

All of sudden, a swarm of beedrills appear out of nowhere with their pointy stingers aimed at Jessie. Screaming, the terrified girl runs wildly with the bee pokemon flying closely behind her with their stingers poised to strike their target. James doesn't even notice his partner's dilemma because he spotted something of great interest and value to him. "Eeee! A 1998 Buzz Cola bottlecap! As he bends down to pick the bottlecap up, he adds, "I can add this to my bottlecap collection!"

In her hasty retreat from the beedrills, Jessie doesn't notice a vine on the ground until it was too late as she tripped over the vine and lands face first in the squishy mud. Growling in aggravation, Jessie wipes the mud from her eyes and her face.

Struggling to get up from the muddy ground, she hears a tiny squeak. Focusing her eyes on the source of the squeak, she sees a chubby chipmunk in a green hoodie holding an acorn in his paws, with two other chipmunks nearby watching them. It is Theodore, the same chipmunk that he, along with his brothers, had had a nasty encounter with Eddy the other day. In his chipmunk tongue, Theodore asks, "Would you like an acorn?" hoping to cheer the distressed woman. Unfortunately, the action has an opposite effect on Jessie.

"Beat it, you little rodent!" barks Jessie, swiping at the trembling chipmunk. She was not having a good day and having another creature in her face, even a cute one, was the last thing she needed. Theodore, along with his brothers Alvin and Simon, scramble over to James and climb up on his shoulders.

Standing near his left ear, Alvin squeaks, "Geez, what a grouch. Someone has anger management issues."

In chipmunk language, James wryly responds, "Yeah. Tell me something I don't know."

Alvin squeaks something else to which James replies, "No, I don't think its' that time of the month. She's always like that. Let's put it this way. Jessie's not a people-person or an animal-person."

As Jessie watched James talking to the chipmunks, she just couldn't believe it. To top off her already miserable day, her partner in crime was actually conversing with rodents.

"James, are you actually talking to those chipmunks?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes. When I was a young lad, I was in the Critter Scouts and Pop Pop was the troop leader. He taught me how to converse with all sorts of creatures." Turning his attention back to the chipmunks, he says, "Tell me more about your album. Is it in stores already?"

While the chipmunks are promoting their new album to James, Jessie walks away, throws her hands up and whines, "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?!"

"It's not always about you, Jessie," James shot back, patting the chipmunks on the head. "These guys have had a rough time. Apparently a talking chicken with a bad temper had assaulted them, verbally and physically, the other day."

Jessie stops in her tracks when she heard the words 'talking chicken' and widens her eyes in shock. Maybe this was the break she was looking for! Running back to them, she adopts a friendly demeanor and asks in a sickeningly-sweet voice, "A talking chicken? You don't say? Please tell us more."

But the chipmunks didn't buy her nice act especially after seeing how she treated poor Theodore. They voiced their sentiments to James, who translates, "Um, this is kind of awkward. But they really don't want to talk to you. You were a little mean to them."

"Oh, they haven't seen just how mean I…" Jessie raged, but stops her threats as she realizes that those rodents were their only source of any information about Eddy's whereabouts. So, with great difficulty, she holds her tongue and calmly says, "Very well, James. Why don't you ask them where they last saw the chicken?"

"Ohhh, I hate being in the middle," complained James. But he goes ahead and relays Jessie's question to the chipmunks in their language. Then, one by one, the chipmunks relate their story from how they met Eddy to his encounter with the wolves.

"Wolves? Wow. But I guess he had it coming to him." In the midst of their conversation, Jessie had snuck up next to James, leaning in to catch any important information. Simon turned around and caught her eavesdropping. He pointed it out to his brothers and all three stop talking as they crossed their arms and frowned at Jessie for intruding on their conversation.

James turned to Jessie and asks, "Uh, Jessie, could you back up a little bit? The guys don't want you eavesdropping."

Jessie sighs in annoyance, but complies as she moves a couple of steps back. "Is this better?"

The chipmunks look at each other and shake their heads. All three moved their paws in a 'keep it moving' gesture and squeaked, "Keep going."

"A little bit more, Jessie."

Jessie walks a little bit farther until she is about a good yard away from them.

"How's this?"

Alvin said something to James who warns, "Be nice, Alvin. Jessie's fine where she is. The other side of the cliff is not an option."

By now Jessie is losing patience. She has given the chipmunk trio enough space. Now all she wanted was James to find out where they last saw the emperor. The faster he finds out, the faster she can get out of the filthy jungle.

"James! Ask him which way the talking chicken went before I lose my nerve!"

James conveys the question to the chipmunks. Though they didn't really like Jessie, Alvin and his brothers were willing to help only so they can get their revenge on Eddy. The chipmunks point their tiny fingers in a direction, indicating where they last saw Eddy. Now that they know where to go, Jessie is back on the rickshaw, grinning wickedly as James hauls her in the chipmunks' direction. The hunt was back on!

* * *

Meanwhile, the three Eds continue with their journey. However, using very little persuasion, Eddy managed to rope Ed into carrying him instead of walking. Edd looks at Eddy disapprovingly and wryly asks, "So you've always had weak ankles, huh? Seems strange that your condition incapacitated your ability to walk the minute we began our trek."

"Yeah, what can I say? It's a curse," Eddy says with a smirk at having tricked one of the Eds into doing his bidding.

"Well, as soon as we stop for lunch, you're walking the rest of the way."

"Aw, relax Double D! Ed doesn't mind, do you Ed?"

"Nope, nothing's too good for my little Giblet" cooed Ed. He cradles Eddy in his arms and begins rocking him back and forth as if he was holding an infant, much to Eddy's annoyance and Edd's amusement.

Off in the distance, the Eds spot a diner called "Jungle Joint" and begin to quicken their pace. But just as they are a few feet away from the diner's entrance, they heard a couple of voices heading in their direction.

"Quick, let's hide!" Eddy exclaimed. The Eds were fortunate to not have come across any other person in the jungle so far. Even though everyone thought Eddy was dead, the chicken emperor didn't want to risk anyone actually seeing him. It was much too embarrassing for the emperor to have to explain his appearance to his subjects. The boys jumped into some nearby bushes and hid behind the foliage while watching out for the approaching people.

The voices the Eds heard belonged to two teenage boys. One was a big, African-American half-robot and half-human named Cyborg. The other was a lean, African-American male wearing glasses, a red beret, yellow shirt, and green pants, his name is Tucker Foley. The boys were heading to the same diner the Eds were planning to go to.

Patting Tucker on the back, Cyborg says, "Hey man! Thanks for upgrading my system. You're the only one I know who can reroute a complex circuit with only an I-pod."

"What can I say? I'm a Techno-geek. It's what I do," shrugs Tucker, grinning at having helped his friend out with his technical expertise.

"Well to show my appreciation, I'm treatin' ya to the Jungle Joint. Hope you're in the mood for chicken, cuz this is the best place for it," exclaims Cyborg. "They got fried chicken, barbecued wings, popcorn chicken, chicken fingers…, oooo-weee I'm just drooling talking about it!"

"Well, what are we waiting for?! My meat sense is going off the radar," said an excited Tucker. Grabbing Cyborg by his mechanical arm, Tucker hastily yanks him through the diner's double doors in seconds.

Once the coast was clear, the Eds got up from their hiding places. After overhearing Cyborg's rundown of the diner's menu, Eddy trembles in fear as he thought about the gruesome consequences of going inside the restaurant.

"I can't go in there! They'll fry me alive!" screamed Eddy. He involuntarily quivers with frightening mental images of his body being plucked, stuffed with an apple in his beak, and shoved into the oven like a Christmas goose.

"Hmmm. If only you had a disguise of some sort to hide your poultry appearance. It's a shame that I don't have my backpack with me anymore, otherwise you could have borrowed my change of clothes." Edd puts on his thinking face as he tries to figure out a solution. Thinking aloud, Edd says, "Now where can we find such a disguise?"

Suddenly, as if it just materialized out of thin air, a costume shop appeared next to Jungle Joint, under the name of 'Boo's Costume Barn.' The boys quickly make their way inside the shop, only to be booted out five minutes later by an angry sales clerk.

"Get out and stay out!" the sales associate bellowed, giving the Eds a loud kick and slamming the door.

Landing painfully hard on the ground and almost dropping his garment bag, Eddy glowers at Ed. "Nice going, Lumpy! Can't we take you anywhere?!"

Dusting himself off and straightening his back, Edd scolded, "Ed, what has come over you? I cannot believe that you tackled the manager like that."

"But I love chickens, Double D, and he was the biggest chicken I ever saw!"

"Now, you're insulting the manager! Ed, when we get home, you are in for a lecture, mister!" Edd admonished Ed, then joined up with Eddy as they walked towards the diner.

"He's a chicken I tell ya! A giant chicken!" shouted Ed, trying to catch up with his companions. Unbeknownst to the Eds, the manager, wearing a nametag labeled 'Boo' on his suit, popped his head out of the store. It turns out Ed was right for a change because the manager appeared to be an oversized chicken wearing a purple suit and tie and a thick black handlebar mustache placed on top of his beak. Boo momentarily watched the boys then retreated back into the store as a song dimly plays in the background: _You wear a disguise to look like human guys but you're not a man, you're a Chicken Boo._

Inside Jungle Joint, a teen waitress wearing a light purple top and a blue skirt with green polka dots, wearing a white apron over it and a white visor on top of her short blonde hair, is talking to three customers seated at a table. Smacking her gum and looking completely bored, Angelica dryly quips, "Welcome to the grease stain a.k.a the Jungle Joint. What fattening garbage do you want today?"

The customers Angelica is speaking to are none other than the Eds. However, Eddy is wearing a red and white cheerleader outfit, white sneakers, and a blond wig styled in a ponytail while holding two red pom-poms in front of his face to cover his beak. The cheerleader disguise was not his first pick, but given the whole 'Ed and Boo' situation, the outfit was the closest thing he could buy before getting booted out of the store.

"The three of us will have the extra-large pizza with the works," Edd turned to Ed and Eddy after giving the order. "Do you two approve of that order?"

"PIZZA!" Ed voiced his assent of the lunch order.

"Whatever you say, cutie!" Eddy winks at Edd and pinches his cheek. Edd chuckles uneasily, trying to hide his discomfort with Eddy playing the 'cheerleader girlfriend' role and wondering why he agreed to this idea.

"We're on a date," squealed Eddy in a high falsetto voice. In his subconscious, Edd hopes that no one in the diner recognizes him or he would have a very angry and jealous Tamaranean to deal with back home.

"Awww, I'm so happy for you…NOT!" Angelica remarks with sarcasm. "So that's one extra-large pizza with the works…"

"And a side order of tossed salad with ranch dressing, please," Edd adds.

After writing down their orders on her notepad, Angelica walks to the kitchen hollering, "Ordering! One deep-dish smorgasboard and one western garden variety at table 13!"

The boys laughed uproarishly once the waitress had left. They had completely fooled her with Eddy's phony disguise and found that to be very funny. Even Edd, who had some doubts about whether they could actually pull it off, thought it was a hilarious success.

"I must admit, Eddy. This plan was surprisingly successful."

"Eh, what can I say? I'm a genius!" boasts Eddy, jerking his thumbs at himself in an overly confident manner. "Even I amaze myself with my brilliant ideas!"

"Is that so?" smirks Edd. "Because it seems that your 'brilliant ideas' has gotten you into more trouble than out of it." Holding up his fingers as he listed Eddy's past mistakes, he continues saying, "First you tried to venture into the jungle alone. Then, you somehow incited a pack of wolves to chase you. Finally, you lied to Ed and I just so you can get back to palace. Any of this ring a bell, Eddy?"

"You sure know how to bring a guy down, Double D," grumbled Eddy. But his sour mood instantly vanishes as their waitress, Angelica, comes back with their lunch.

"Hey, Ken and Barbie. Your order's up." As soon as Angelica placed the pizza and the salad on their table and went to another table, the boys started eating. While Edd ate his salad and pizza slice neatly with a fork and knife, Ed and Eddy grabbed their slices and hungrily scarfed them down in the most disgusting manner possible, with toppings and gobs of cheese flying everywhere. Edd turns violently ill watching them eat.

"Gentlemen, please. This may not be a high-class, dining establishment, but at least show some manners."

Belching out loud, Eddy retorts, "Manners, schmanners. This grub is good, but it needs to be spiced up a notch. I'm gonna go talk to the cook." He gets up from his seat and begins walking to the back of the diner, towards the kitchen.

"Eddy, wait! You're going to get us kicked out," Edd protests. They were fortunate enough to actually be able to sit and eat without any trouble, but Edd didn't want to risk it because he was sure Eddy would say or do something recklessly that would bring a quick eviction from the diner.

"Chill out, Double D," Eddy scoffs. "With this disguise and my bonafide acting skills, I'm practically invisible."

Before Edd could even argue, Eddy already began walking towards the kitchen doors. Though the cheerleader skirt was long enough to hid his tail feathers, they swished to and fro underneath the skirt, making it looked like his butt was moving back and forth. Sitting near the kitchen, a tan-skinned Water tribe boy named Sokka ogles Eddy's backside, he smirks at Edd, giving him two thumbs up, which earned a slap to the back of his head by his none-too-pleased sister, Katara.

Shaking his head, Edd resumes eating his lunch. With their attention focused on the food before them, Edd and Ed do not notice two strangely familiar people who have just entered the diner and are sitting in a table behind them.

"That is the last time we take directions from chipmunks! We've spent too much time walking around in circles in this wasteland of a jungle!" Gritting her teeth in frustration, Jessie curled her fists tightly and pounded them on the table. "I could have avoided this whole mess by getting rid of Eddy myself," she angrily declared.

With his back facing Jessie and James, Edd had heard every word Jessie had said and almost choked on his pizza slice as a result. Quickly putting two and two together, he realized that the two figures behind him may be the ones responsible for Eddy's fowl transformation. He stops eating so he could listen to the conversation behind him.

"Oh, don't beat yourself up about it. We all make mistakes," assures James. Jessie reaches to pick up her fork but accidentally knocks it off the table.

"Oops. Let me get you another one, Jessie."

Edd was focusing so intently on their conversation that when James tapped his shoulder, he gave a surprised yelp and almost jumped out of his seat. "Hey, are you still planning to use that fork?" James asked. Without turning his head to face him, Edd wordlessly grabs an unused fork and holds it up for James to take.

"Thanks, kid. Wait, you look familiar….do I know you from somewhere?"

"Um…uh… I don't believe so," Edd answers fearfully. Edd didn't know why he was feeling so nervous around this guy until a thought occurred to him. James might have been there at the market that very day when the sack carrying Eddy had fallen into his cart. _'Now that I think about, his voice sounds eerily similar to the voice that called out to me in the marketplace, but I thought I was merely hearing things.'_

"Were you at last week's sci-fi convention?" James was sure that he had seen him before. He just needed to guess the places he may have seen Edd.

"No, I was sick that week."

"Um…creative writing class?"

"Nope. Sorry."

"I have it! Olga Pataki's modern dance class. It lasted only two semesters. My weak ankles kept me at the back of the class." When he sees Edd shaking his head no, the confidence James had in his last guess quickly disappears. "Still no? Aw, come on kid. At least give me a hint."

"I'm sorry, sir. Perhaps I remind you of someone else." Edd looks at the kitchen door nervously then back at James. "It was nice talking to you, but there's an urgent matter I must attend to." Edd faces Ed who is still devouring the pizza and orders, "Stay here, Ed. I will be right back." Not waiting for Ed's answer, Edd quickly hustles to the kitchen to find and warn Eddy.

The chicken emperor in question was talking to the diner's main cook, a metallic robot wearing a chef's hat and an apron, named Bender. Despite the annoyed grunts coming from the increasingly irked robot, Eddy continues to give his suggestions on improving the food. "Look, I'm not saying the pizza was awful. It was good, but it could be better! Ask anyone else, I'm sure they would agree with me."

Unbeknownst to Eddy and Bender, the door to the kitchen slowly opened. Edd poked his head inside and spots Eddy. "Psst! Eddy…Eddy!" he whispers, but Eddy is too busy talking to the cook to hear him.

"Like I was tellin' this guy, the food could be spiced up a notch. Maybe add some more cheese or pepperoni…." As Eddy drawled on, Bender began to cut the loaf of salami he was currently slicing harder and faster, pretending that it was this annoying kid.

Reading the menu, Jessie looks at it with disbelief and disgust. Most of the food on there would probably give someone a heart attack or cavities. "Is there anything on this menu that isn't grossly fattening?!" she demands. "You're right, Jessie. This menu does leave a lot to be desired. Let me go ask the chef," James says as he rises from the table and walks to the kitchen.

Eddy was still yapping on to Bender who by this time was close to losing it. "And while I'm at it, I saw that this place serves omelets. I better give you some tips on making the best omelets. Trust me, you haven't lived until you tried 'Eddy's Omelet Surprise!" Eddy would have continued bragging about his egg creation, but he was cut off when Edd snatched his wing and begins heading towards the kitchen doors. However when James came through the doors, Edd quickly pushed Eddy into another room inside the kitchen. As he shuts the door to prevent James from finding them, Eddy complains, "Hey, what's the deal? I was gonna ask about dessert!"

"Uh, excuse me, my good…robot, I need to place a special order," says James.

"That's it!" Bender furiously shouts, then hurls the knife he was using to slice the salami at the side of the doors, narrowly missing James who ducked in time. "You want a special order, then you make it, meatbag! I'm outta here!" Bender hurriedly packs everything inside his metal chest, including his apron and chef's hat.

"Wait a minute, hold on…"

"I thought if I traveled back in time, humans would finally appreciate my culinary talent

and I could hide from those chumps I owe money for from the horse races. But nooo, nobody appreciates my vision!"

"But you can't leave…" James protests, hoping the robot will calm down. But Bender was never the peaceful kind of robot. After punching his Planet Express Delivery time-travel watch on his wrist, Bender decided to say one last thing.

"Look, meatbag. You can just bite my shiny, metal—" before he could finish his unique catchphrase, the robot instantly vanished into the time stream without a trace. James was at a loss for words, he had not only witnessed a robot from the future, but the same robot was the diner's cook and he had just disappeared, leaving him alone in the kitchen.

"Ordering." Angelica's voice shakes James out of his stupor and he sees the blond girl at the kitchen's "Order" window reading off the customers' orders from her notepad.

"Three pork barbecue combos, extra coleslaw on the side, two chili cheese fries, a basket of onion rings, one tuna fish sandwich, and a banana split shaped like Mount Rushmore. You got all that?" Angelica didn't really think too much or cared that James was in the kitchen, so long as she didn't have to do the actual cooking, everything was fine.

For the first time in his life, James handled this situation with uncharacteristic confidence by answering, "Three BBQ works, two cheese straws, Saturn's rings, one fish on a bun, and the Presidential Suite, got it." Quickly donning on an apron, oven mitts and a chef's hat, James excitedly prepares for his favorite pastime, cooking.

"What are you doing?" Eddy asks Edd, who is pacing back and forth trying to think up an escape plan.

"There's no time to explain. All I can say is that we have to somehow get back to Ed and leave this place unnoticed."

Meanwhile, Jessie was getting a little annoyed. It had been 20 minutes since James had entered into the kitchen and he hadn't come out. _'What is he doing in there? Knowing James, he probably got lost in there,'_ she thinks to herself, then gets up from her seat and heads to the kitchen.

"I've got it! I've thought of a way to get out of here," Edd exclaimed.

"Leave? But I'm still hungry," whined Eddy. "We'll go as soon as I get some chow."

"Eddy, no!" But it was too late, Eddy had already left the room and went back into the kitchen to talk to the chef, though this time James was the cook instead of the robot Bender. Fortunately, James' back was turned as he concentrated on preparing a dish and Eddy was too hungry to really notice a difference.

"You know what? Just give me a bacon and cheddar cheese omelet. And don't skimp on the cheese." Eddy walks out of the kitchen and goes back into the eating area.

"Omelet extra cheesy coming right up!" James answered back. Luckily, he was too engrossed in his cooking to identify Eddy's voice.

Jessie enters the kitchen, just missing Eddy, and looks at James with exasperation and impatience. "James, what are on earth on you doing?!" she hollered. Slowly creeping out of the room, Edd is about to leave the kitchen to find Eddy but yelps in surprise when he sees Jessie. He quickly ducks underneath a cart close by and decides to stay hidden until the coast was clear.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm cooking!" James responds, then hits a bell at the counter as he places the finished order on the counter. "Pickup for Table 4!"

"Why does this not surprise me?" groans Jessie. She could never understand how James could screw up most tasks but was very competent at cooking. James bended down to retrieve something from the cart that Edd is hiding in. Edd grabs a large ladle and holds it out for James who takes it without noticing the boy.

Pouring melted cheese over a plate of chili fries, James yells "Order up!"

"Since you're making yourself useful for a change, make me the lunch special. And hold the mayo!" ordered Jessie.

"You got it." James rings the bell yelling "Pickup!" as he places another order on the counter.

After Jessie leaves, Eddy barges back in the kitchen. "I've changed my mind. Give me a bacon cheeseburger instead."

"Bacon cheeseburger. Check."

Seconds after Eddy leaves, Jessie enters the kitchen and for the second time, she just missed the chicken emperor. For Edd, Jessie's sudden intrusion prevented him from leaving and caught him off guard. He blended into the background by hiding behind a statue near the doors.

"James, I want you to make the potatoes a side dish."

"Okay, but it will cost you full price."

Jessie growls at that, but leaves without saying a word. Eddy came back just as she left. "Hey, pal, gimme some fries with that burger, will ya?"

"No problem. You want some cheese on those potatoes?" asks James.

Jessie comes in immediately after Eddy has gone out and thinks James is addressing the question to her. "Yes, James, add the cheese."

"Cheese spuds coming up!"

Eddy, who came in just as Jessie left, says, "Keep the spuds, leave the cheese," then leaves again.

"You're the boss. Hold the cheese," James says, not noticing the difference between Jessie and Eddy's voice nor the fact that the two were going in and out of the kitchen like swinging doors, one going in right after the other.

Jessie returns and says, "No, I want the cheese."

"Okay. Cheese it is."

"Me no want cheese!" yells Eddy, who goes out just as fast as he came in.

"Cheese out."

Jessie goes in and overhears James. "No, cheese in!" she shot back.

"Make up your mind, already!" yelled a frustrated James. First cheese, then no cheese, then cheese again, then none at all. It was all so confusing to him!

Eddy poked his head through one of the doors and begins, "You know what…" Then Jessie pokes her head through the other door and she and Eddy both say, "Forget the side dish altogether." Eddy dashed out while Jessie looked baffled. She thought that she had heard an echo because it sounded like somebody else had said the same things she said at the same time. After she scratched her ear to clear it out, she went back to her table.

At their respective tables, Eddy and Jessie were both looking at their menus. Eddy placed his menu facedown and then held it back up when Jessie placed hers down. The up-down menu cycle continued for a few minutes with one character blocking the other from seeing his or her face. After a while, both of them placed their menus down and took a long sip from their drinks, then resumed their menu reading. Ed, who was sitting next to Eddy, noticed none of the action because he was happily eating the leftover pizza.

For what seemed like forever, Edd finally emerged from the kitchen, but to his horror, he finds Jessie is sitting in perfect clear view of Eddy. Feeling that it wouldn't be too long before Jessie recognized Eddy, Edd tapped Angelica on the shoulder and whispered, "Pardon me, but I was wondering if you could do a favor for me. Do you see that woman over there? Could you…psst psst psst…"

After he finished telling Angelica whatever request he had in mind for Jessie, Angelica rolled her eyes and dryly says, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have no idea how many times people actually ask us to do those kind of things. I'll go round up the gang." She leaves to complete what Edd had asked her to do.

In the meantime, Jessie had placed her menu aside and actually takes the time to look at this supposed cheerleader sitting at a table across from her. She raises her eye as she noticed a price tag hanging from Eddy's blonde wig and stops as she perceives a beak where a mouth was supposed to be. _'Why does she look so familiar?'_ she thinks as she narrows her eyes to get a closer look at this mysterious girl. But before she could even get a look, seven voices, out of nowhere, counted, "Four, three, two, one!" Seven young waiters by the names of Tommy, Dil, Chuckie, Kimi, Phil, Lil, and Susie appeared at her table and enthusiastically sing:

**Happy, happy birthday**

**from all of us to you**

**We wish it was our birthday**

**so we could party too**

**Happy, happy birthday**

**May all your dreams come true**

**We wish it was our birthday**

**so we could party too**

Hearing the commotion outside, James steps out of the kitchen holding and mixing some batter within a bowl. "Jessie? Today's your birthday! Let me go and make you a special cake," he squeals excitedly. Jessie, however, did not look very happy as she sat there with a glitzy birthday sombrero on her head while the waiters threw confetti and blew party horns. Grumbling at all the fuss, especially since today wasn't her birthday, she missed Edd grabbing Eddy and Ed by the arms and hurriedly dragging them out of the diner.

Both boys were puzzled at the sudden change in Edd. The normally calm, mild-mannered bookworm was replaced by a frantic, nervous wreck. They also didn't understand why he pulled them out of the diner so fast, it wasn't like Edd to do something so irrational.

"Double D, what's wrong?" asked Ed.

"Yeah, Sockhead, where's the fire? We left before I got my cheeseburger. There better be a good reason for this," snapped Eddy, annoyed that Edd had cost him some food.

"There certainly is, Eddy. In the diner, I overheard two people who mentioned that they were searching for you."

"Who were they?"

"A medium-build fellow with short blue-lavender hair and a woman with long reddish hair. Both of them were wearing gray uniforms with a red R on the front." Edd stated, briefly describing Eddy's assailants.

Eddy knew immediately who Edd had just described, but thought it best to make sure that he had the right people. "One question. Was this woman incredibly wrinkly?"

"Yes, which is surprising, considering her age," Edd remarked. Deciding not to dwell too much on that thought, Edd began to feel deeply concerned about Eddy's safety. The emperor actually knew the very people who Edd was sure were responsible for turning him into a chicken. Edd didn't know if that worried him more, or the fact that Eddy didn't seem to know they were behind his whole misfortune.

Eddy, however, thought that his luck was beginning to change for the better since his former lackeys were close by. "Jessie and James are here?! I'm saved! Ha ha ha ha!"

"Eddy, listen to me. They are not here to rescue you, they want to—" before Edd could reveal the truth behind Jessie and James' search, Eddy continued his excited ranting.

"They'll take me back to the palace and I'll be normal again!" Eddy turned towards Edd and says, "Thanks for your help. You and Ed are all right, but I can take it from here." Eddy begins to walk back towards the diner, but Edd stops him as he says, "Eddy, you don't understand. Your would-be saviors want to eliminate you!"

"Are you crazy? Those two worship the ground I walk on. When they see me, they'll be happy to help their awesome ruler."

"No! I won't let you go back to them! It's for your own good," Edd firmly stated.

Perplexed, Eddy tried to understand why Edd was so determined to keep him away from the two people who could help him the most, when just a couple of hours ago, he was helping him get back home. Suddenly, he reached a conclusion for Edd's actions and it was one that angered him.

"Hey! I know what you're up to and it ain't gonna work!" Eddy snapped at Edd.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Oh drop the innocent act! You can't fool me!" Eddy shot back. "You planned all along to keep me here in this jungle forever. You were never going to take me back!"

"No, that's not true!" Edd protested, but his words fell deaf on the furious emperor.

"I can't believe I almost fell for it!" Eddy rapidly paced back and forth, stomping his feet on the ground in frustration. Then he glared at Ed, who was beginning to show some fear at the rising anger coming from his beloved chicken. "And I bet you trained Ed for your little scheme!" accused Eddy.

Ed flinched a little bit by Eddy's outburst, but mustered enough courage to approach Eddy as he exclaimed, "No, Giblet! I'd never hurt you. Double D wouldn't hurt you either." He tried to give Eddy a hug, but stopped in his tracks when the incensed emperor gave him a cold glare and began walking away.

"Eddy, wait…" Edd tried again to reason with Eddy, but the chicken refused to let Edd trick him again.

"No! You didn't care about me! All you care about is that stupid little village of yours. So why don't you just do me a favor and get lost, you good-for-nothing creep!"

"If you would just listen…" implored Edd.

"But Giblet…" begged Ed.

Then Eddy lost it. "For the last time, my name is Eddy! NOT Giblet! ED-DY! Ya got that, you stupid lunkhead?!"

Ed's eyes began welling up with tears as his lips started to quiver. He couldn't believe his Giblet was yelling at him.

"You're a meanie, Giblet!" Ed bawled, then covered his tear-stained face with his hands and began sobbing uncontrollably.

Placing his arm around his friend's shoulder, Edd gives Ed a consoling look but then looks back at Eddy with an intense glare. "I couldn't agree more, Ed. Let's go home," said Ed bitterly. He didn't know what hurt more, that Eddy accused him and Ed of being conniving and manipulative or that Eddy no longer wanted to be friends with them anymore. It angered and disheartened Edd to think that Eddy may not have valued the bonding that happened between them over the course of the trip as much as he did. As he led Ed back in the direction they came, Edd couldn't help but think that when Eddy realized the real reason Jessie and James were looking for him, he was going to deeply regret his words and foolish actions.

"Good riddance!" Eddy grumbled to himself. He wanted to fool himself into believing that he didn't care about Edd and Ed, but deep down, he had grown to like the two boys, weird quirks and all. The idea that Edd and Ed were deceiving him this whole time had really gotten to him. So like with anything or anyone else he perceived as a threat, he responded back with anger and nastiness, and then try to move on. He looked up and spotted Jessie and James leaving the diner. Eddy jumped into some nearby bushes and decided to wait until they were close enough so that he could surprise them. However, Eddy received a surprise himself as he listened to their conversation.

"I said it before and I'll say it again. James, this is all your fault!" growled Jessie, tossing away the sombrero as if it was worthless garbage.

"What did I do?" James asked dumbly, eating a slice of the birthday cake he had prepared and holding some of the party favors in his hands.

"If you hadn't mixed up those potions, that stupid twerp Eddy would have been dead and we wouldn't have to go through the trouble of finding him!"

Eddy dropped his mouth in shock as he heard what Jessie had said. He stays hidden behind the bushes to hear more from the Team Rocket duo. Pulling out her personal tent from the Team Rocket rickshaw, she sets it on the ground and with a push of a button on a remote control, the tent is automatically set into place. Once that was taken care of, Jessie continues, "We'll camp here for the night. But come morning, we will continue our search and I don't want anything else to delay us. It's crucial that we find that chicken and annihilate him!"

"You are so obsessed. You couldn't even let this go, not even for you birthday."

"I won't rest until Eddy is eliminated once and for all. Then the empire will finally be rid of that cocky, greedy little twerp."

"Yeah, it's not like anyone really cares that he's gone," James shrugs. "Like that Kevin kid. After the funeral, he threw a huge bash at his house with an Eddy-shaped piñata, a "Pin the 'kick me sign' on the Eddy" game, and everything. Everybody was there!"

"I know James, we were the first guests there, remember?" quipped Jessie.

Eddy watched them unpacked and then turned away from them, still stunned at everything he just heard. While it did bother him that no one in the empire had missed him, what really got him was that Edd was right. If Jessie and James were to find him, they would finish the job and kill him!

Quietly leaving his hiding spot, Eddy quickly moves through the jungle hoping to catch the only two people who could help him.

"Double D? Ed? Where are you, guys?" shouted Eddy. He looked behind every tree and through the thick undergrowth, but still no sign of the boys. He yelled at the top of his lungs, "ED! DOUBLE D!" But it was no use, Ed and Edd were gone.

Eddy sighed dejectedly as he took off his cheerleader costume and left it on the ground. He stared off into the distance in despair as the words Edd had said to him yesterday echoed in his mind. _'Mark my words. Someday, you're going to find yourself all alone because of your selfish, unkind ways and you'll have no one to blame for your loneliness but yourself.' _Once again, Edd was right about him. Because he always thought about himself and treated Edd and Ed like dirt, he pushed away the two people who were the closest things to friends he ever had, leaving him all alone.

Later on, a thunderstorm was going on with heavy rain falling through the jungle. Eddy is sitting on a rock, still mulling over everything that has happened to him. Looking sad and miserable, he thinks that perhaps he deserved being alone. He was a mean and arrogant jerk to everyone, especially to Edd and Ed, who had showed him compassion and had helped saved his life a couple of times.

Then Eddy's narrator voice came in. "No you're not having a bad case of déjà vu. This is where you guys came in at the beginning of this story." He continues to say, "So you see, I was innocent the WHOLE TIME and didn't do anything wrong! But they all wrecked my life for no reason and let me tell you I am…"

"Giving me a headache, buddy! Will you put a sock in it already?!" snapped Eddy, the chicken version.

"Hey, I'm just telling them what really happened," protested narrator Eddy.

"You're wasting your time. They saw the whole thing, they know I messed up. Heck, even I know I screwed up."

"Yeah…, but…but…."

"Just shut up and leave me alone," Eddy groaned as he sat out in the rain, with literal and figurative clouds hanging over his head.

* * *

StarReader86: Mmph. Mmph. Mmph. Looks like Eddy really did it this time.

Eddy: (facing Edd and Ed) Aw, c'mon guys, you gotta help me. You were right all along. Those two are gonna kill me. So what do you say?

Edd and Ed: (Turn away from Eddy and use the silent treatment)

Eddy: Hey, what gives?!

StarReader86: Sorry Eddy, but if you and the readers want to know if the Eds will forgive you and help you out, you're going to have to wait until the next thrilling chapter. As always readers, please READ and REVIEW!


	9. The great Edescape!

A few feet away from the Jungle Joint diner, Team Rocket has set up camp for the night. While Jessie slept in a huge, extravagant tent, James slept both inside and outside of his tent since the tent was big enough to only cover half of his slumbering body. All seems to be well as James snored soundly with his teddy bear held tightly in his arm.

But suddenly James bolts up from his sleep and gasps, "That kid! …He has a weird hat. What is he trying to hide anyways? Oh well."

James yawns, then goes back to sleep, apparently forgetting his previous train of thought. However, that train never left his mind, because James woke back up again.

"Now, I remember! That kid is the same twerp I saw leaving the market the other day. The sack carrying Eddy fell into his cart and he vanished into the crowd before I could stop him." James takes a huge breath after saying a mouthful, then continues. "Which means that he must have taken the sack to his village from the market. So if we find the village, then we find Eddy!"

James smugly grins at having figured out where Eddy might have gone. "It's all finally making sense! I better tell Jessie, she'll want to know."

Without thinking, he rushed inside Jessie's tent and yells, "Jessie, there's something important I got to tell you!"

"What is it?!" Jessie screeches, rising up from her bed. James squeals in fright when he looks at her face. Jessie's face is covered with a green face mask, two cucumber slices over her eyes and huge pink rollers adorned all over her head, all of which Jessie professed as being her 'beauty sleep' regimen. "You'd better have a good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep," Jessie growled, the cucumber slices fell off to show her angry, glaring eyes.

* * *

After the night has passed, the new day kicks off with a sunny morning. Despite the sunny weather, Eddy's attitude does not match the bright and cheery morning. Still looking forlorn and dejected, Eddy slowly walks into a grassy meadow. In the meadow, there are some chickens pecking at the ground to find insects and leftover grains to eat. The chickens stopped their pecking to look up at Eddy who was coming their way. Not knowing what to do, Eddy nervously smiles and waves his wing as if to say 'hello.' But his friendly gesture is not taken well as the chickens cackled in panic and scurried away from the strange, overgrown chicken.

Eddy sighed, feeling even more miserable now that even the birds didn't want to be around him. He lowers his gaze down toward the ground and spots a couple of earthworms and beetles crawling around. He gulps uneasily under the disturbing thought that since he was going to be a chicken forever, he might as well start eating like one. Eddy picked up a wriggling earthworm with his beak and forced himself to swallow it. Turning green, Eddy covered his beak with his wings to prevent himself from throwing up his 'breakfast.' Once the nausea was gone, he bends down to continue eating. Then Eddy hears a familiar voice nearby and he raises his head to listen to it more closely.

"…Then all of a sudden, the ground underneath my feet began to shake. I started to believe that I wasn't going to survive the fall, but before I could even blink, he grabbed me just before the ground broke apart. I know it sounds unbelievable given all that he put us through, but Ed and I can testify that he actually saved me!"

Eddy's spirits rose a little as he made his way over to that voice. The voice and the words sounded so familiar to him that he just had to find the person behind the voice. As he got closer, Eddy is both shocked and happy when he discovers not one, but two very recognizable boys. One of the boys is sitting on a rock talking to a group of chickens circled around him while the other boy is in the circle stroking one of the chickens. They were none other than Edd and Ed! As Eddy moved closer to the group, he overhears Edd continuing the story of how Eddy saved his life.

"You might say that I was foolish for helping such a selfish emperor. But you want to know why I was willing to help him, even to the point of putting myself in harm's way? Because, I could tell that, deep down, he is a good person."

With a joking grin, he also says, "No matter how much I thought about doing so, I couldn't leave him out there on his own. He wouldn't know what to do without some guidance. Isn't that right, Ed?"

"Yep! Giblet needs us!" adds Ed with a smile, thinking about his beloved chicken. But that memory quickly draws tears to Ed's eyes as he starts to cry. "I miss Giblet!" sobs Ed, his tearful outburst scaring away the chickens.

"And I'm sure 'Giblet' misses you, Ed," reassures Edd. Shifting his gaze away from his friend, Edd looks up and notices a sheepish Eddy standing there in the flesh, er, feathers. Though he knew Eddy would eventually come back once he figured out the truth, it still surprised Edd to see the emperor return. But that shock quickly disappeared as he smiled at Eddy, letting him know that he wasn't mad at him anymore.

"In fact, I know that Giblet missed you Ed," Edd said with a knowing smile. "Because he's standing there right behind you."

Ed stopped crying when he heard Edd's words. He slowly turned around and sure enough, he spotted his beloved 'Giblet.'

"GIBLET!!" Ed happily yelled as he jumped up and down in excitement. He ran over to Eddy and locked him in a tight hug, swinging him around and laughing his happy guffaw. For once, Eddy didn't mind the big lug hugging him. Though he wouldn't admit it, he actually enjoyed the hug, because that meant that Ed had forgiven him.

When Ed finally released Eddy, the chicken emperor looked over at Edd and nervously walked over to him. Luckily for Eddy, he didn't need to say anything to get back into Ed's good graces, but for Edd, he knew that he was going to have to do the one thing he hated to do: to admit that he was wrong. Nevertheless, Eddy was willing to do it because it was the least he could do for Edd who had helped him so much.

"Uh, Double D, you know all those things I said back at the diner….the thing is…I-I didn't really mean it… and uh…" Eddy awkwardly stammered.

Smiling, Edd raised his hand as a signal for Eddy to stop. He knew this was the closest thing to an apology he was going to get from him. Since he was no longer angry with Eddy and forgave him for his cruel actions, he figured that he shouldn't make Eddy suffer by forcing an apology out of him.

"I just have one thing to say. Are you tired of being a chicken and ready to go back to being human?" asked Edd.

Eddy bawled like a baby as he sobbed, "Ye-ee-ss!"

* * *

With Jessie and James still searching for Eddy, Edd knew that they didn't have a minute to lose. For Eddy's sake, it was very important for them to reach the palace without the Team Rocket duo catching them. But first, Edd needed to make a quick stop.

"Before we start our journey, I need to get some supplies from my house," panted Edd. The Eds were running along the pathway leading straight to Edd's house, which involved a long, exhausting climb towards the top of the hill.

"Yeah, yeah, and then we'll be going back to my palace, right?" asked Eddy.

"Right."

The boys pass by two elderly men playing Chinese checkers. One was a bald, stout Jewish man with thick eyebrows wearing a dark blue suit and purple pants. Taller and thinner than his companion, the other man had a long nose and an equally long, bony chin to match, and wore green suspenders over a white shirt. The former was Grandpa Boris and the latter was Grandpa Phil, their grandkids Tommy, Dil, Angelica and Arnold lived in Edd's village.

Looking up from the game, Grandpa Boris spotted Edd and said, "Hey, Edward. It's a good thing you stopped by. Your relatives were looking for you."

"My relatives?" asked Edd, puzzled. Other than his uncle, Professor Utonium, who wouldn't be back for another month, he didn't know of any other relatives who were coming to visit.

"Yeah, we told them you would be back soon, so they went up to your house already," answered Grandpa Phil. "I might need to get new glasses, because I can't see any family resemblance between you and those odd relatives of yours."

"Can you at least describe them?" asked Edd. _'So I'll know if they really are who they say they are,'_ he thought.

Holding his chin, Grandpa Boris tried to remember what Edd's mysterious relatives looked like. "Let's see, uh, one of them was a young man with short blue hair wearing a uniform of some kind. The other was a woman with long reddish hair wearing a similar uniform. She was, uh…uh, Phil, how would you describe her?"

"Wrinkly beyond all belief," adds Phil, shaking his head with a grimace on his face.

"Bingo, that is what I was thinking," remarks Boris.

Edd and Eddy looked at each other in fear. Even though Ed had no idea who Boris and Phil were talking about, the other Eds knew just from their descriptions that Edd's so-called relatives were really…

Jessie, who sat on the living room couch drinking a cup of tea, tried to act out her part as Edd's 'relative' convincingly to the confused Starfire and the skeptical Blossom. Starfire thought it was strange that a member of Edd's family would make an unexpected visit while Edd was absent. Blossom, on the other hand, could tell that there was more to Jessie than her alleged relation to the Professor and Edd's family.

"Please tell me again how you are a kinsman to Double D?" asked Starfire.

"Yeah, Double D and the Professor have never mentioned you before and I've never seen you at any of the family reunions," quips Blossom.

"Oh, I'm his second cousin's sister's husband's niece's aunt."

Starfire and Blossom look at each other and then back at Jessie. "Um…twice removed?" Jessie nervously added, hoping they would buy it. While Starfire was even more confused, Blossom became more suspicious of their 'guest.' For anyone to state their familial relation in the most convoluted way almost always didn't add up.

"Isn't that right, James?" Jessie asks as she looks behind her to find her partner to back up her story.

However, James was too busy playing jump rope and having fun with Bubbles and Buttercup to hear her question. With one girl holding one end of the rope in mid-air, James happily jumped along to Bubble's chant.

"Ninety-nine monkeys jumping on the bed," said Bubbles.

"One fell off and bumped his head," said James.

Jessie rolls her eyes at James acting so childish but after overhearing Starfire talking to her, she turns her attention back to the room.

"I am truly sorry that you traveled all this way to see Double D. But as I mentioned to you before, he is not here right now. When he comes home, I will tell him that you came to visit him." Normally Starfire loved having guests over, but after sensing Blossom's and her own uneasiness about Jessie, she felt that it would be wise to get the strange visitors out of the house.

Faking kindness, Jessie responds, "Oh, how very kind of you. I would truly appreciate it." But in her mind, she thinks, _'If you think you can get rid of me that easily, you have another thing coming.'_

While Starfire and Blossom weren't looking, Jessie quickly takes off one of her green earrings and places it her pocket. After securing the jewelry, she yelps, "Oh no! I lost my earring! It must have fallen underneath the sofa. You got to help me find it, their my only pair!" Putting on her 'helpless' look, the two redheads couldn't help but feel obliged to help her find her 'missing' jewelry.

"It's okay, we'll help you find it," offers Starfire. Lifting the couch as if it were a pillow, Starfire holds up the furniture piece as Blossom uses her super-vision to scout for the supposed earring. Seeing that the two were temporarily preoccupied, Jessie dashes into the next room where the jumping rope game was going on and hops in the middle with James, who was thoroughly enjoying himself.

Jumping and clapping her hands with James, Jessie whispers, "I'm not getting anything from that alien and the Powerpuff brat. They must be hiding something. When I say the word, we're going to search this house inside and out."

"You'll have to get back to me later. I still have 83 monkeys to go!" exclaims James.

Jessie growls and contemplates throttling James, but on seeing Starfire and Blossom waiting for her, she quickly returns to the living room. Jessie thought she had fooled them, but the girls knew her 'missing jewelry' trick was just that, a trick. Starfire had noticed Jessie removing her earring and stuffing it into her pocket and Blossom, using her super hearing, heard every word Jessie had said to James. They now had concrete evidence that these two did not come to their home for a family visit.

Resuming her innocent act, Jessie says, "Since we're waiting for Two D's…"

"Double D!" Starfire and Blossom simultaneously corrected.

"Right, right. Well since we're waiting for him to get back, why don't we pass the time by having you two give us a tour of this place?"

"That sounds like a lovely idea. But I think it would be for the best if you leave now and then come back when Double D is home. I'm certain that he could show you the…"

Starfire stops in mid-sentence as she catches a glimpse of her boyfriend at the window. Edd makes a signal for her to come to the window and that he has something urgent to tell her. She gives a curt nod to Edd, letting him know she got the message, then turns her attention back to Jessie.

"If you would excuse me for a minute, I need to attend to something in the kitchen. Blossom, why don't you join your sisters and our other guest in the jumping of rope?"

Having spotted Double D at the window as well, Blossom complies with Starfire's request and zips into the next room. She knew that whatever Edd is going to tell Starfire, it must have something to do with these strange people.

When Blossom arrived, the game had changed with James turning two ropes at the same time with Bubbles and Buttercup jumping through one rope each. Blossom joined Bubbles on her side of the rope as James announced, "This is my version of Double Dutch. When I give the signal, everyone switch places!"

Jessie emerges into the scene and yells, "James, let's go!"

"Okay!" James answers back. He assumed this was the signal to switch places. Before Jessie knew it, she was the one holding the ropes while the Powerpuff girls were jumping through one rope and James at the other rope. She growls in annoyance at James unwittingly delaying her plans again.

Back in the kitchen, Edd tells Starfire everything that happened, from what really happened at the palace to the real identities of the two crooks posing as his relatives. As she listened to Edd, Starfire initially felt upset that Edd had lied to her about his visit to the emperor and kept the news about the village being demolished from her. But, her anger quickly subsided as she understood why Edd had lied to her. Now she was just glad to see that he was okay and was proud of him for doing the right thing in helping Eddy.

Wrapping things up, Edd finishes, "Now we have to return Eddy to his palace, find Team Rocket's laboratory and somehow find the antidote that will change him back to normal."

"Hey, Good-lookin!" says Eddy flirtatiously, winking at Starfire outside of the kitchen window. His sudden appearance startles Starfire which caused her to shoot beams out of her hand in reflex. The beams knocked Eddy clear across the yard. The only thing keeping him from rolling down the hilltop was Ed who was close enough to catch him.

"Heh. Uh, Starfire? That was Eddy," Edd says uneasily.

Realizing her mistake, Starfire sweatdrops. "Well as you Earthlings would say, it is my bad," she stammered sheepishly.

Not willing to waste anymore time with James and the Powerpuffs' game, Jessie managed to leave and walk around the house hoping to see some sign of the chicken emperor. No sooner did she open up one closet, Bubbles appeared right behind her with her jump rope. As she continued jumping rope, Bubbles remarks, "You know what? You don't look much like an aunt. You look more like a great-great-great-great…"

In the kitchen, Edd and Starfire have just finished gathering all the supplies the boys were going to need for their trek to the palace. Giving one last tug on Edd's backpack zipper, Starfire looks at her boyfriend to say her goodbye. "Go. Don't worry about me or the girls. We'll keep the Rocket Team here as long as possible to give you three a head start."

"Thank you, Starfire. You are truly amazing," Edd smiles at his girlfriend, then gives her a short kiss on the lips.

Eddy appears at the window again, but this time he looks somewhat out of it due to Starfire's unintentional attack. Dazedly, he mumbles, "Wow, Double D, you're girlfriend is hot. All three of 'em are smokin.'" Edd grabs Eddy and yells for Ed that they were leaving now.

Jessie is still looking through the closet and so far, she has turned up nothing. Not finding any clues was frustrating enough, but what made her task even more infuriating was listening to the high-pitched, mind-numbing chatter behind her.

"Great-great-great-great-great…" Bubbles continues to say, punctuating each jump with 'great.'

Jessie grits her teeth as she tries to block out the annoying little girl. Not only was the blue Powerpuff inferring that she looked old enough to be her 'great' aunt but the girl would not shut up. Finally, Jessie's limited patience finally snapped.

"All right already! Are you almost done yet?!"

Bubbles stops. A pondering expression on her cute face, she then says, "Great-great aunt."

It is then Starfire emerges from the kitchen and with a bright grin, she sweetly says, "Everything in the kitchen is in order. Let us resume what we were discussing about."

"Now, listen, you alien freak, we're not leaving this house until…"

"I give you a tour of our lovely home," Starfire finishes, then pushes a perplexed Jessie out of the room. With a mischievous grin, she calls out, "Girls! I need your assistance in showing our esteemed guests one of our most cherished quarters."

* * *

Running through the jungle foliage, the Eds are trying to make as much use of the head start the girls are giving them by keeping Jessie and James occupied. Eddy turns to Edd and asks, "You think it was a good idea leaving the girls alone with those two?"

Edd chuckled. The idea that his super-powered girlfriend and cousins were helpless against the likes of two normal, if not somewhat dim, crooks greatly amused him. "Don't worry, Eddy. I know, without a doubt, that they can handle themselves."

* * *

At the house, Starfire is standing outside of a closet with the Powerpuff girls hovering around the door. The four girls are giggling at the sound of one very irate voice coming from the closet.

"We can't get out! Open this door RIGHT NOW!" yelled Jessie. Somehow, she and James were tricked into going inside the closet. Apparently, the girls convinced Jessie and James that this 'special room' had a lot of priceless antiques and heirlooms that could make a good buck in the black market. The two couldn't resist such a temptation, so they ran into the closet without thinking for a minute that it could be a trap.

"It might help if you turn the handle," offered Starfire.

"There's no handle in here!" drawl

"What? Are you absolutely sure?" Starfire said playfully. She knew Jessie was telling the truth because she was holding the handle in her hand. The Powerpuff girls laughed hysterically as they heard growls and threats coming from the closet.

"That's it! The joke's over! Tell us where the talking chicken is and we'll destroy your house!"

"Uh, Jessie, don't you mean to say "or" instead of "and?" asked James. Threats or not, even he knew that proper grammar was important.

"Fine! Tell us where the talking chicken is OR we'll destroy your house!" Jessie corrected. She peered through the hole where the handle would have been to glare at her captors.

"Well, which is it? Or? And? You gotta get your conjunctions right so they can function!" said Bubbles. Her sisters looked at her bewilderedly. "What?" protests Bubbles. "I get all my learning from School House Rock!"

"Enough of this! James, break down the door!"

"Break it down? Are you crazy? This door is an exquisitely hand-carved mahogany. Plus, I'll get splinters," whines James.

"Ugh! Out of the way! I'll do it myself!" Jessie begins to count down. "You got three seconds to let us out of here! One…!"

As Jessie prepares herself to barge through the door, Starfire says to the Powerpuffs, "Okay, girls, do you remember the plan?"

"Two…!"

"Yes!" said Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. They knew what to do and they couldn't wait to get started. They flew to their posts before Jessie gave the final countdown.

"Three!"

With that, Jessie rapidly runs towards the door. Starfire anticipated her reaction and opened the door at the exact moment. Due to her fast momentum, Jessie couldn't stop or slow herself down. In a nearby room, Blossom uses her ice breath power to make the floor slippery for Jessie who slips uncontrollably the minute her feet touched the floor.

Seeing the screaming Jessie heading towards the backdoor, Starfire opens the bottom half of the door while keeping the top half shut. This results in Jessie slamming face-first into the upper half of the door and leaving out through the lower half. Instead of landing on the ground, Bubbles catches Jessie, sweeps her up and picks up a barrel of honey and a stack of pillows lying conspicuously around the area. She flies towards Buttercup and yells, "Catch Buttercup!" as she hurls Jessie, the honey, and the pillows in her sister's direction.

Buttercup spins into a green tornado and sucks up all three. In seconds, she stops spinning to reveal a very dizzy Jessie covered in honey and feathers from the pillows. Holding Jessie horizontally, Buttercup throws her like a spear heading straight towards a group of kids.

At the bottom of the hilltop, a woman with thick carrot-top hair and thick red-rimmed glasses named Ms. Edmunds is throwing a party for her daughter, Mertle and her three friends, Theresa, Elena and Yuki. One of the party games was hitting a piñata, which looked like a chicken covered in white crepe paper.

"All right girls! On your mark…get set…" counted Ms. Edmunds.

Buttercup's throw caused Jessie to head straight into the piñata, knocking it out of its position, and replacing it. In a comical twist, Jessie had become the piñata.

The piñata change had happened so quickly that Ms. Edmunds didn't even notice that the piñata was actually a feathered human being. "GO!" she yelled, telling Mertle and her friends to commence hitting the piñata.

With their blindfolds on, the four girls excitedly swung their bats and began smacking the 'piñata' in hopes of getting some candy. Wincing from pain, Jessie yells, "Ouch! Knock it off, you little brats!"

"Cool! A talking piñata! It's gotta have a lot of candy, maybe even some toys. Hit it harder, girls!" commands Mertle.

"Ow, ow, ow, huh?" Jessie stops wincing in pain as she notices a peculiar trio of boys running off in the distance. She looks even closely and spots a yellow chicken in the group.

"There they are, James! Hurry before they get away!" shouts Jessie. As she struggles to get free in the midst of the swinging bats, she grumbles, "My first order as empress is to ban piñatas for good."

James, who decided to remain in the house, was giving his goodbyes to Starfire and the Powerpuff girls. "Thanks for having us over! Uh, sorry about the door. Next time we visit, I'll be sure to bring a special cake. It's the least I could do. The secret to my cake recipe is…"

"JAMES!"

"Uh oh. I'm on my way, Jessie!" James rushes off towards Jessie to help her out. The chase was back on!

* * *

Running as fast as their legs could run, Ed, Edd, and Eddy sprint towards a bridge between two cliffs. To show how much distance is between the Eds and Team Rocket, the author advises the readers to use their imagination and mentally visualize a map with three red figures shaped like the Eds running across the map with red arrows marking their trail.

As for Team Rocket, Jessie is back on the TR rickshaw with James pulling it at a fast pace. As they are moving to catch up with the Eds, they both looked down at the ground and notice red arrows, the same ones marking the Eds' trail. Then they looked behind them and to their surprise, blue arrows are appearing closely behind them, apparently to mark their trail. The two look at each other. James raises an eyebrow in question and Jessie shrugs to show that she has no idea what is going on. Despite their puzzlement, the two continue to follow the Eds.

On the map, the red Ed figures stop at a picture of a canyon. Switching from the map to reality, the boys are standing before a canyon. This time there was no bridge to carry them across. Edd takes off his backpack and pulls out a bow, an arrow, and a piece of rope. He ties the rope to the arrow and hands the bow and arrow to Ed. Pretending that he is Speedy from his Teen Titans comics, Ed effortlessly pulls back on the bow and releases the arrow so that it could hit a tree on the other side of the canyon. The arrow makes its mark smack dab in the middle of the tree.

Once the rope and arrow were secured, Edd tied the other end of the rope to a nearby rock and then pulls out two empty notebook binders. Even on a race against time to save the emperor, being a school nerd, Edd always liked to take some of his school supplies with him wherever he went. This time, Edd planned to use the binders to carry his friends across the canyon. Opening and placing one binder over the rope, Edd takes a few steps back and with hands grasping the binder, he then runs over to the canyon's edge. With the extra momentum, Edd was able to glide across and land safely on the other side. Having watched Edd, Ed does the same thing, but because he was heavier than Edd, Eddy helps him by jumping on top of Ed's binder and flapping his wings rapidly to give Ed much needed momentum to cross over the canyon. Once Ed and Eddy reached the other side, Eddy used his beak to cut the rope to prevent Team Rocket from getting across. Minutes after the Eds took off, Jessie and James arrived at the scene.

Jessie grinned evilly as she pushed a button inside the rickshaw. Rope or no rope, they were not going to be beaten that easily. After pushing the button, the rickshaw quickly changed into a flying contraption. Looking like an early Wright Brothers invention, the machine looked like a two-person bicycle with propellers located at both ends of the bike which were powered by pedal movement. Jessie and James snapped on their helmets and goggles and began pedaling the flying bike-thing furiously. Both of them grinned victoriously as the machine became airborne. They are halfway across the canyon when a voice yelled…

"Pikachu! Thunderbolt now!!"

"Piikaa-chuuu!"

"Hey that sounds like the twer…" both Jessie and James said, but they are cut off when a sharp, yellow electric bolt strikes them. The two yelped in both shock and pain. Not only did the lightning strike caused their whole bodies to blacken, but the electric force reduced their flying bike to burnt, scrap metal. As Team Rocket plummeted down into the canyon, their signature phrase is heard echoing between the canyon walls. "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!"

The view shifts upward from the canyon depths to three figures standing on one side of the canyon, the same side the Eds had landed on. One of the figures was a young boy with short black hair sticking out from under his red cap, wearing a navy blue jacket vest over a white t-shirt, navy blue fingerless gloves over his hands, blue jeans, and red and black sneakers. Standing next to the boy was a mouse-like creature with yellow fur with red stripes across its back and a lightning-bolt shaped tail. The last figure was an African-American female with black corkscrew curls all over her head, blue star-shaped earrings in both ears and a matching blue-star necklace. She is wearing a lime-green tank top underneath a long-sleeved purple blouse over a pair of blue denim jeans and sneakers.

Holding a laptop underneath her left arm, StarReader86 turns to the boy and says, "Thanks for helping me out, Ash. Since I'm using Team Rocket in this parody, I thought it would be funny if the lightning scene happened because of Pikachu."

"No problem, Star," Ash Ketchem replied. "Pikachu and I never turn down a chance to shock Team Rocket. Heck, we've been doing it for eleven seasons, right Pikachu?"

Pikachu agrees, "Pik-a-chu!"

"Right. Well for your brief cameo, here's an all-u-can-eat one-day coupon at Mudka's Meat Hut. Enjoy!"

After Star hands the coupon to Ash, the Pokemon trainer holds the coupon as if it were his latest Pokemon catch. Striking a pose, Ash announces, "Alright! I got a COUPON!"

"Pikachu!" exclaims Pikachu, making a victory sign with its tiny paws.

* * *

StarReader86: Don't worry, this is not the end. I've got a couple more chapters to go before I wrap this parody up. Please read and review!

Eddy: Hey, Star! Why the heck did you end this chapter with that annoying punk and his pet rat?! Talk about lame!

Pikachu: (growls) Pika-chuuu! (then does its Thundermolt move)

Eddy: (the shocked Eddy is now facedown on the ground) "Ouch, I'm okay groan

StarReader86: And as Eddy has demonstrated, any flaming or negative review will result in an electric attack courtesy of Pikachu. So again, please send in your reviews. Any ideas or suggestions for the upcoming chapters will be appreciated!


	10. An Edpic Showdown

****

Author's Note:

Thanks for the awesome reviews! I know its been almost a month since I last updated, but for those who have jobs that take over your life, you can kind of understand what its like to have zero free time. Thanks so much for your patience! Anyways, here is my longest chapter (and I have the bruises on my fingers to prove it), Ch 10!

* * *

On the imaginary map, the three red figures of the Eds are shown running over boulders and hills until they finally arrive at Eddy's palace.

As the readers toss away the map, they see that the weather around the palace has turned rainy. The Eds had managed to find the secret door to Team Rocket's lab. To gain access to it, they needed to pull one of two levers.

On one side of the room, a door opens up and a sorely drenched and very irritated Eddy stomps into the room. The cause of Eddy's irritation was Frankie the shark's jaws biting into his feathered butt.

"Okay, why the heck does she even have that lever?" growls Eddy, kicking the shark off with his clawed foot back through the door.

Eddy walks over to where Ed and Edd are standing next to the two levers. Since Ed pulled one lever, resulting in Eddy falling through a trap door into the shark pool, by logical deduction, Edd told Ed to pull the other lever. When Ed pulled the correct lever, the secret door instantly flipped the trio into the next room. The Eds were surprised to find themselves seated in a roller coaster car, the same one Jessie and James were placed in earlier.

"Alright dudes and dude-ettes, this ride is about to start. Wave your hands like crazy and have a blast, seriously!" said the Motor Ed announcer voice.

Before they knew it, the roller coaster car began speeding down rapidly along the tracks. Edd and Eddy clung to each other and screamed for dear life while Ed raised his arms and laughed gleefully all throughout the ride. Just as suddenly as the ride started, it quickly stopped as the Eds were thrown into the lab.

When they landed on the floor, Edd and Eddy looked at each other quizzically because they were wearing lab coats that didn't fit them at all. Edd was wearing James' lab coat which was too long for him and Jessie's lab coat was meant to cover a woman's curvy body instead of a short, portly chicken. Both of them looked over at Ed, who surprisingly was dressed like a clown, with a red nose and a funny hat to boot.

"Where did Chuckles the Clown come from?" asked Eddy, sarcastically.

"I guess the author didn't want Ed to feel left out since the original scene called for two costumes," surmised Edd.

"Yay! I love clowns! They have big feet," Ed squealed dumbly.

"Aw forget this!" Eddy snapped. He tore his coat apart with his wings and then yanked off Ed's and Edd's wardrobes, causing the two to spin around dizzily. "We got to find that human potion, remember?!"

The three dashed over to a large table filled with various, colored chemicals in different size beakers, flasks, and test tubes.

Picking up two flasks and looking at each of them, Eddy asks, "So which one is it?"

"I'm not sure. It'll take me a while to analyze all of these chemicals, and we still might not find the antidote," reasoned Edd.

"Hey guys! Look at this stuff!"

Eddy and Edd look over to where Ed is standing. In front of Ed is a tall cabinet filled with numerous potions with labels underneath them. Edd and Eddy rushed over to the cabinet. The human potion might very well be there!

Edd looks at one shelf and reads the following potions, "Lions, tigers, bears…" When he came to a spot reserved for the human potion, there was nothing at all!

"Oh, my," mocked an eerily familiar female voice. Wicked laughter is heard from that voice combined with that of a male voice. The Eds suddenly hear some dramatic background music playing out of nowhere. Suddenly two shadowy figures jumped up and landed on the lab table. Voices from those mysterious figures began to chant:

_To protect our rep as villain raiders_

_To unite ourselves against all you haters_

_To rid this kingdom of goodness and hope_

_And spread our message from coast to coast_

_Jessie!_

The red-haired villainess stepped out of the shadows with a bold, evil smirk on her face and much to the boys' shock, Jessie is holding the vial containing the human potion within her hands.

_And James!_

Soon, Jessie's partner in crime revealed himself with a red rose in his gloved hand and a dangerous glint in his green eyes. Both Jessie and James stood in dramatic poses with the final lines of their chant.

_Team Rocket will rule this empire with an iron fist_

_Betcha didn't think we could come up with something like this_

Even though they finished their little chant, the music continued playing as if someone else was supposed to say a little something at the end. Jessie and James looked at each other bewilderedly as they realize something was missing.

"James, where exactly is Meowth? I haven't seen him since this poor excuse for a parody started."

James scratches his head, trying to think of the loud-mouthed feline Pokemon's whereabouts, until he remembered something. "Oh, I almost forgot. Meowth said he wouldn't be able to act in this story because he's too busy practicing for his role in one of the author's upcoming stories."

"Oh, he's such a diva," Jessie remarked, rolling her eyes.

"Hey! Can we get back to what's going on here?!" Eddy snapped in annoyance. "Like how you two got here before us?"

Jessie smiled smugly as she held up her finger, looking as if she was going to gloat about their arrival. However, her face showed obvious puzzlement. She looked to James and asked, "That's a good question. How did we get here before the twerps?"

"Beats me." James pulls out the map previously used in the last chapter. "Judging by this map, the twerps should have gotten here first. Go figure," he shrugs.

"Oh well, it doesn't matter who got here first." Sporting an evil grin, Jessie looks at Eddy with narrowed, menacing eyes. "What's important is that I eliminate you so that I can become empress."

Sweating profusely under her murderous glare, Eddy nervously takes a step back. He knew Jessie was upset at him, but he never thought she was angry enough to actually kill him.

Nervously chuckling, Eddy says, "Okay, so maybe I'm not the nicest guy in the world. And maybe I shouldn't have fired you like that. But c'mon, do you really want to kill me?!"

"Well, let me break it down for you. You're being let go, you're no longer wanted, we're both going in different directions, take your pick, I've got plenty."

Eddy's mouth gaped in shock, trembling as he hears the words coming from Jessie that sounded eerily similar to what he said when he fired her. If his life wasn't in danger, he would probably ask Edd if this was an example of irony.

"Hey Jess, aren't those the exact words he said to you when he fired you?" asked James, clearly stating the obvious.

"Yes, James. That's what you call a cruel irony, like my dependence on you," she dryly answered back. Sometimes James could be a complete idiot.

"Aahh! I can't believe this is happening to me!" Eddy screamed.

"And I bet you weren't expecting this, huh?" asked Jessie, grinning mischievously as she lifts up a side of her skirt, exposing much more of her right leg.

The Eds shielded their eyes and all three screamed in terror .

"NO! I'm too young!" screamed Eddy.

"Good lord! Put your skirt back down! This story is rated K, not M for mature audiences," yelled Edd.

"Make it go away!" shouted Ed.

Ignoring their screams, Jessie reaches up and pulls out a silver pistol that is strapped around her upper thigh. Afterwards, she briskly smoothed out her skirt. When the Eds see what Jessie was really up to, they all sigh in relief. Apparently, as teenaged boys tend to do, their minds were thinking about something that is too PG-13 to be written here.

"James! You know what to do." Jessie hands the gun to James, then stands back with her hands on her hips, looking at Eddy and his friends with an evil smile on her face.

It was déjà vu all over again for James. Not only was this the second time that Jessie entrusted him the job of finishing off Eddy, but he was also experiencing some inner conflict within his conscience as to what would be the right thing to do. Follow Jessie's orders and shoot the Eds, who he really didn't have a grudge towards, or refuse to kill the emperor and his friends at the risk of feeling Jessie's terrible wrath.

Like before, his consciences come to help James out. 'Bad James' pops up, standing on James' left shoulder, and says, "Don't tell me you're thinkin' bout' chickening out!"

"So if you're here, then where's my good conscience?" asks James. Just as soon as that question was uttered, 'Good' James arrives, landing on his right shoulder. Though this time, the good conscience was sitting in a salon chair underneath a hair dryer reading a Disney magazine. Looking up from the magazine, 'Good' James realizes that he's supposed to be on the job. The chair and dryer instantly disappear and 'Good' James has his halo back around his head.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?" asked 'Good' James.

"Well, first off, Jessie gave me this gun and wants me to eliminate them. Then my bad conscience shows up and then we waited for you to arrive. To be perfectly honest, I really don't want to…"

Deep in his conversation between his good and bad consciences, James doesn't realize that his moral guides were invisible to everyone but him. So to anyone watching James, it looked like he was talking to himself like a crazy person.

Jessie looks at James with wide-open eyes with her mouth dropping to the floor. She looks at the Eds and jabs her thumb at James with a facial expression that clearly read: 'Has he gone completely loco?' The boys all shrugged, they didn't know why James was acting so strangely.

"James!" yelled Jessie. The conversation between James and his consciences comes to a halt as all three look up at the seething redhead.

"Why did I think you could do this? All I wanted you to do was kill the twerp and his annoying friends, but I guess you're too much of an idiot to accomplish that."

"Hey, take it easy there!" cautioned 'Good' James.

"A whiny, incompetent, bottlecap-lovin' idiot named James!"

"Ouch. That burns!" commented 'Bad' James.

"Do you want to do know something else? I never liked your strawberry rice cakes." Jessie's harsh remarks made James and his consciences gasp in astonishment. Never had they heard Jessie say something so cruel.

"They're better as coasters than as cakes!" she finished with a hiss.

James' eyes began to tear up. He didn't care so much that Jessie insulted his competence at doing evil dirty work, but her harsh comments about his culinary delicacy really struck a cord in his heart.

'Bad' James had enough. Even he thought Jessie had gone too far. And he was from the evil side. Positioning his pitchfork as if it were a weapon, he growled, "That's it! She is so going down."

"Wait a minute, fellas. There's a wise saying that goes like this. "From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward," reassured 'Good' James.

Suddenly a beam of bright light showered all around the room. The three James looked up and see a lit chandelier hanging directly above Jessie.

"That'll work," all three agreed simultaneously.

Showing a rare display of confident courage, James takes out a bottle opener that he kept in his pocket for his bottlecap hobby and uses it to cut the rope that is tied to the chandelier. With the rope loosened, the chandelier falls by way of gravity towards Jessie. The Eds covered their ears as they await for the eventual crash. Once the chandelier crashed to the ground, the boys look up and to their shock, as well as Jessie's, the chandelier missed Jessie due to the giant hole in the middle of it.

"That's odd. Usually that works," commented James, perplexed at the strange turn of events.

"Don't worry, James," said Jessie in a dangerously low voice. "THIS WILL!" she snaps, then pulls a nearby lever, which causes a trapdoor under James' feet to open up.

"Whoa. Should have seen that coming." James screamed, "Aahhh!" as he fell under the trapdoor with his two consciences, 'Good' James and 'Bad' James clinging to each other as they fell too.

While Jessie smugly grins at having rid of her partner, she fails to notice Edd who had snuck up behind her and snatched the antidote from her hands. Jessie turns furious as she runs after Edd. Having spent most of his energy in reaching the palace, Edd knew he couldn't outrun Jessie for very long. He spots Ed and yells, "Ed, catch!" and tosses the vial to him just before he was tackled from behind by Jessie.

Ed fumbles the vial in his hands for a brief moment but nonetheless has it secured in his grasp. Pushing Edd aside, Jessie runs toward Ed and leaps onto his back.

"Give me that vial, you big lummox!"

Jessie repeatedly pounds Ed's hollow skull with her fists. The headache created by Jessie's pounding momentarily distracts Ed, which allowed Jessie to take the potion from his flailing hands.

Her moment of victory is cut short when Eddy flew up and head-butted Jessie off of Ed's head.

"Hey! Only I get to call Ed that!" Eddy protested.

Not only did his head-butt caused Jessie to drop the potion. it also caused Jessie to be thrown towards the potions cabinet. With her ears ringing from sudden impact with the cabinet, Jessie is now mad!

"You twerps are going to pay for that!"

Out of nowhere, Jessie pulls out five red-and-white pokeballs. Throwing the spherical objects into the air, all of her pokemon from Arbok to Seviper were instantly released.

"Get them!" Jessie ordered her pokemon.

Just as the menacing-looking creatures began to move towards the frightened Eds, four beings suddenly flew into the lab's windows. They were none other than Starfire and the Powerpuff girls.

Jessie's jaw drops, but she pulls herself together to complain. "Hey, wait a minute! This didn't happen in the original movie!"

"What part of the word 'parody' do you not understand?" snapped Blossom.

"Even Bubbles knows what it means!" adds Buttercup.

"Yeah! What?...Hey!" retorts Bubbles, feeling a little insulted.

"Besides, we're superheroes and its our job to protect people from evildoers like you!" exclaims Blossom.

"Now let us commence the kicking of the buttocks!" announces Starfire, accidentally butchering the English language. After hearing her statement, everyone in the room, including the pokemon, sweatdropped.

"Uh, close enough, Starfire!" Blossom remarks with a sheepish expression. Then instantly reverting back to her trademark leadership mode, she yells, "Powerpuff Girls…and Starfire, let's go!"

All four superheroines speedily flew towards Jessie's pokemon, initiating a smackdown of great cartoon crossover proportions.

"Arbok! Poison sting attack!" Jessie commanded to the first of her pokemon. "Cha-Bok!" exclaims the purple, cobra-like pokemon, as it fired several light blue rays out of its mouth towards the girls.

"Go after the others. I'll take care of this one!" orders Blossom. Once the other girls flew off to fight the other pokemon, Blossom sucks in a huge gulp of air, then after a few seconds, she breathes out the air in the form of an icy swirl. The freezing air blast instantly freezes the poison stings as well as Arbok, whose entire body and the shocked expression on its face is frozen in a large block of ice.

Not ready to give up, Jessie goes to her next Pokemon.

"Dustox, use Gust on that blonde brat!"

The moth-like Pokemon obeys its master and creates a tremendous gust of wind with its beating wings. Bubbles counters its attack by using her sonic high-pitch scream. The sonic waves from her scream greatly overpowers Dustox's wind gust. The strong impact of the waves causes Dustox to slam hard into a nearby wall, causing a few painful cracks in the wall.

Dismayed and frustrated that the Powerpuff girls took out two of her Pokemon, Jessie called out for the next one on her Pokemon roster, hoping that the third time would be the charm.

"Lickitung! Go!"

A rotund, pink creature with an abnormally long reddish tongue hanging out of its mouth, quickly swings its tongue to paralyze its target, which happened to be Buttercup. But to Lickitung's surprise, the green-eyed Powerpuff grabbed hold of the powerful tongue seconds before it hit her face. With a mischievous glint in her eyes and a smirk on her face, Buttercup lifts the astonished Pokemon by its tongue and begins to swirl around rapidly into a green tornado. After a few minutes, Buttercup stops and drop kicks the dizzy Pokemon, whose tongue is now loosely wrapped around its body, onto the floor.

Unlike the Powerpuff girls, Starfire was having a bit of difficulty fighting her opponent, Wobbufett. No matter how many beams she shot out of her hands, the blue, blobbish Pokemon would instinctively use Counter, a move that blocked any of its enemy's attacks. After fighting off Arbok, Blossom was about to fly over to assist Starfire but out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Seviper, Jessie's other snake-like Pokemon, poised and ready to strike her. An idea quickly popped up in the brainy Powerpuff's head.

"Hey tall, dark, and scaly! Catch me if you can!" Blossom taunted. Seviper lunged at her and quickly coiled its long body in hopes of squeezing the pink-eyed girl to death. But to its shock, she was gone! Seviper looked up and spotted the smug Blossom hovering above its head.

"Is that the best you can do? No wonder Pikachu always kicks your butt!" Blossom flew towards the fight scene between Starfire and Wobbuffet with an angry Seviper bounding after her. Angering the snake Pokemon was part one of her plan to defeat Wobbuffet, and as she got closer to her destination, part two was about to come into play.

With Wobbuffet's attention on Starfire and using its power to block her attacks, he didn't notice Blossom and Seviper coming its way. Blossom flew behind Wobbuffet and quietly landed in front of its back, so as to keep the blobbish Pokemon from noticing her. She spotted Seviper and made faces at it, further teasing it. By now, Seviper had enough! He was going to teach the brat a lesson, even if it meant hurting his comrade in the process. Preparing for its Poison Tail attack, Seviper raised its tail, which began to glow in a light purple color, and rapidly swung its tail to strike Blossom. Fortunately, Blossom's super vision allowed her to see the tail's movements, which would have been too fast for the human eye, and had speedily moved out of the way.

Wobbuffet was not so fortunate. He did not notice the scene going on behind him. However, Starfire did and caught on to what Blossom was trying to do. The minute Seviper raised its tail to strike, Starfire stopped firing her beams, looking as if she was ready to give up. With Starfire ceasing her attacks, Wobbuffet stopped using Counter, a move that would have prevented from what was to happen next. Seviper's poisonous tail hit the back of Wobbuffet's head, causing Wobbuffet to reel in both shock and pain from the stinging, poisonous sensation.

Blossom then picked up Seviper and using her superhuman speed, she wrapped the snake Pokemon into a ball. She tossed the 'ball' up and down into the air, then yelled to Starfire, "Batter up!"

Remembering what she learned about the human sport of baseball, Starfire picked up the stunned Wobbuffet and raised it as if it were a bat. Blossom hurled Seviper towards her to which Starfire swung Wobbuffet until a contact was made. The strength Starfire put behind her swing caused the poor snake to soar across the lab and hit a wall, landing on the floor in an unconscious state. Wobbuffet was no better as Starfire released her grip on its body. Hitting Seviper had also taken a lot of energy out of it, so much so that it fainted on the ground.

The Eds looked at the four triumphant superheroines and the defeated Pokemon strewn out all over the lab. The three boys jumped up and ecstatically cheered for the victors.

"Yeah! We won! We won!" the Eds yelled. Starfire and the Powerpuff girls joined in their victory cheer.

But Jessie, on the other hand, was distressed at all that had happened. All of her Pokemon were quickly taken out, one by one, by the superpowered females. With her Pokemon posse momentarily knocked out, Jessie had one more trick up her sleeve.

While the Eds and the girls were busy cheering, Jessie quietly snuck over to a cabinet and pulled out a Team Rocket brand bazooka. With the bazooka strapped around her arm, she grabbed a couple of potions and hastily placed them in the loading portion of the bazooka. Her weapon locked and loaded, Jessie furtively snuck over to the lab table and slowly raised her bazooka to fire.

Out of the corner of his eye, Edd spotted Jessie. "Girls! Watch out!" he yelled.

But by the time the girls heard Edd's warning, Jessie had already fired one potion at Starfire and another at the Powerpuff Girls. When the dust from the potions cleared away, the boys were shocked to see what the girls had turned into.

For Starfire, the potion turned her into a turtle while the Powerpuff girls were turned into three cute, but slimy snails. With the girls incapacitated, Jessie knew that things were now looking up. She called out to her Pokemon who surprisingly were able to bounce back from their injuries and were now ready to fight. The Eds trembled in fear as they looked upon the advancing menacing Pokemon. Without the girls, they stood little to no chance of beating Jessie.

"This is it! We're done for!" cried Eddy.

Suddenly an idea popped up in Edd's head. "Not exactly, for I have a solution." Edd kneeled down to pick up a small pebble on the floor. "I hate to have to do this, but this calls for drastic measures."

Eddy looks at Edd with an incredulous expression as Edd dropped the pebble in the back of one of Ed's shoes without the big lug knowing it.

"A pebble?! That's your answer?! How's a measly rock going to save us?!" screams Eddy, who didn't stop to take note of the sudden changes in Ed's disposition.

Edd glances at Eddy with a knowing smirk as he explains, "It may just be an insignificant pebble, but combining the pebble with Ed's foot and you get…"

"ANGRY ED'S BACK!" roars Ed, his eyes blood-shot red and his mouth curled in a growling sneer, exposing his clenching, large teeth.

Anyone who knows Ed can testify that the guy rarely ever showed anger or rage. But Edd recalled an earlier instance in which Ed went on a fury-induced rampage in the village. By accident, Edd discovered that the cause of Ed's irrational behavior was a small pebble found in Ed's shoes. Feeling a pebble, a stick or anything in one's shoes would annoy most people, but for Ed, it was the one thing that undeniably pushed him over the edge!

As the enraged Ed stomped towards the now frightened Pokemon, Eddy cheered him on by screaming, "Go Lumpy Go!" And 'go' Ed did as he picked up the lab table, sending many glass tubes and beakers crashing onto the floor, and jumped in the air.

"PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER! YAAHHH!" Ed yells down to the terrified Pokemon with the large table tightly secured in his grasping hands.

Suddenly, the big fight scene with Ed and the Pokemon is abruptly paused. To the reader's surprise, the author, StarReader86's head pokes out, then the author continues walking to the center of the page.

The sheepish author clears her throat, then goes on to say, "I know all of you were expecting to see Ed beating the crap out of Jessie's Pokemon, but due to the remarks I've been getting from one of the cartoon censor ladies, who claims that the following scene is too graphic for anyone under the age of 18 who may be reading this."

"They have suggested," then StarReader starts fake coughing, "cough threatenedcough that if I want to continue with this story, then I need to block the violent scene. Otherwise, they'll tell the powers-that-be at Fanfiction and my story will be plugged." StarReader glares at the aforementioned cartoon censor lady, Histeria's very own Lydia Karaoke.

"So I'm going to take this moment to recognize and thank the awesome authors/reviewers who posted their reviews of this story. Thank you **Wormtail96, Darkmagicianmon, Terranova210486, Energy witch, TinkerbelleTB, TLSoulDude, Lady Dragon010, and pastrygirl**."

"For all those who have not reviewed but have read and/or faved my story, I still say thanks to all of you. The fact that you care enough to read my first story really means a lot to me."

StarReader looks at her digital watch and then back at the readers. "Okay, so it looks like the scene's over. Now back to the story!"

The readers now see the scene with Ed standing before Jessie's badly bruised and beaten Pokemon who are currently laying in a pile. Careful as to not startle Ed, Edd creeps up behind him and grabs Ed's shoe to shake out the pebble, then places the shoe back on Ed's foot. Instantly, Ed changes back to his happy-go-lucky self!

"I'm in my happy place again, guys!" Ed emphasizes his good mood by squeezing Edd and Eddy in a tight hug and swinging them around.

"We're happy for you too, Ed. Now please let us go," wheezed Edd.

"Yeah, before I hurl from smellin' your stinky pits," quipped Eddy. Ed released his friends, who were glad to get some air from Ed's oxygen-deprived hug. Other than that, it seems everything is okay.

Well, maybe not.

Jessie looks at her defeated Pokemon in shock, she couldn't believe that one boy, other than Ash, single-handedly beat her Pokemon. She fires a rageful glare at Ed as she exclaimed, "You…You…You'll pay for this, you brain-dead twerp!"

Before the boys could react, Jessie fired another potion from her bazooka at Ed. Edd and Eddy looked fearfully on as they watched to see what Jessie's potions have turned their friend into this time. Much to their surprise, Ed was transformed into a humanoid three-toed sloth.

Unlike his friends, Ed was thrilled at his new change. "Cool! I am now…Sloth-man! The furry fighter of the Amazon rainforest!"

Eddy slaps a wing across his head in frustration, while Edd is somewhat relieved that at least Ed could still find something to be happy about. "Hold on, Ed. We're going to use that human antidote and turn you and the girls back to normal," reasoned Edd.

"Hey, what about me?! I've been turned into a freak way before everyone else!"

"Focus, Eddy! We need to get that antidote, which is…" Edd trailed off, "…right in front of us!"

Sure enough, the vial that held the human antidote that Jessie dropped earlier was only a few feet away from the boys. As the boys began running towards it, Jessie thinks fast and pushes against the cabinet filled with the potions. This caused all the potions to spill onto the floor. All the potions were unlabeled, so there was no way to tell which one was the antidote!

"Uh oh! My bad!" said Jessie, pretending to look apologetic. While Edd and Eddy anxiously picked up several vials at a time to determine which one was the antidote, Jessie continued. "I would help you boys out, but I'm expecting company real soon!"

Jessie tugs on a cord hanging from the ceiling, sounding off a loud alarm. After the alarm sounded, several doors opened up to reveal some of Eddy's guards; Kids Next Door's Sector V and Jack Spicer. The six guards, equipped with their weapon of choice, stood ready to fight.

"Those two murdered the emperor! Get them!" Jessie ordered, pointing accursedly at Eddy and Edd.

"She's lying! I'm the emperor! It's me, Eddy!" he frantically yelped, but the guards ignored him as they charged towards them.

"I don't get it, Double D! Why aren't they listening to me?!"

"You're a chicken, Eddy. No one is going to take you seriously," reasoned Edd. "But that's not important. Grab as many of these vials as you can, we'll figure out which is the antidote scientifically."

"Oh yeah, how?" quipped Eddy, as both boys kneeled down to pick up the potions from the floor.

"By having you drink each potion and see the outcomes, until one of them turns you back to your human self."

By the time Edd finished talking, the guards have gotten very close to where they were standing. Since they had no weapons of their own, Edd and Eddy used the only resources they had at hand. The boys threw several potions at the surprised guards, effectively stopping them in their tracks. Once the smoke from the potion explosion cleared, the guards found themselves transformed into various animals. Numbuh One, a white seal, Numbuh Two, a hippo, Numbuh Three, a white crane, Numbuh Four, a yellow koala, Numbuh Five, a gazelle, and Jack Spicer, a baboon.

Jessie watched the boys make their escape. She turned to the animal brigade. "Well, what are you waiting for?! Go after them!"

"Hey lady, I've been turned into a baboon…again," groans Jack Spicer. "Can I go home?"

"Fine, you can leave," Jessie sighed. Swinging on his staff, the baboon Jack gleefully left the scene. "Anyone else?"

Choruses of "Nah, we're good," "I'm fine," and "Numbuh Five's okay" were spoken. It seemed that the KND kids were not overly weirded out by their animal forms.

"Great. NOW GET THEM!"

Edd and Eddy ran as quickly as their legs could carry them with the animal guards quickly closing in on them. As they were running, Edd plucked one potion hidden underneath his hat and popped the cork off.

"We need to change you back and fast. Try this potion," said Edd. He handed it to Eddy who gulped it down in seconds. Eddy quickly found out that the potion was not the human antidote, but instead, it was a penguin potion.

"Uh, Double D? A little help here!" squawked Eddy. Edd turned around and spotted the penguin Eddy frantically waving his wings and waddling at a slow pace. Just before Numbuh Five could stomp on Eddy with her hooves, Edd grabs Eddy by the wing and continues running to find an exit.

In their running, the boys stopped at a flight of stairs. Laying Eddy on his stomach, Edd hops onto his feathered back and pushes off to slide down the stair railing using Eddy as some sort of penguin sled. The quick, whooshing motion down the stairs prevented the KND from being able to land any of their weapon's firings upon the boys.

The boys reached the end of the stairs and continued their run. "Perhaps a potion that will give you flying ability is in order," Edd states, picking out another potion from the several he held in his arms. Since Eddy didn't have any fingers, Edd popped off the cork and fed it to him.

"Yeah, baby! I'm flyin' high tonight!" boasted Eddy. It turned out Edd got his wish, because this potion transformed Eddy into another bird, one that could fly.

But unfortunately, the potion turned him into a red robin. This spelled bad news for Edd who was holding onto Eddy's feet to keep himself in the air. Realizing how small a bird he was, Eddy squeaked, "Oh man."

Without realizing where they were going, Edd and Eddy crashed into a nearby wall. When they landed on the ground, the boys saw KND getting closer to where they were. They quickly recovered from their fall and started to run yet again from the guards.

"This isn't working, Double D! You're getting the wrong potions! Let me pick the next one!" protested Eddy.

"Fine! Be my guest!" snapped Edd, slightly upset that Eddy wasn't more appreciative of his efforts.

"Gimme that one!" Edd picks out the potion Eddy chose and feeds it to Eddy. For the third time, Eddy changed into another bird, this time a peacock. After finding out what he turned into, Eddy loses it.

"Why does every stinkin' potion turn me into some stupid bird?! I HATE BIRDS!"

In the background, if one listens closely, one could hear the author laughing mischievously while the clacking sounds of keys typing on a laptop are heard.

Suddenly, for no reason other than to add to dramatics, the bridge the Eds were standing on begins to crumble underneath their feet. Edd and Eddy screamed as they fell into the watery canals below the bridge.

Jessie and the KND group saw the Eds' downward fall. When they got closer to where the bridge collapsed, Jessie yells at the KND. "Hurry up and drain the canals!"

Wading in the canals, Edd picked out another potion for Eddy to try. "Try this one," Edd said. He opened up the vial and fed it to Eddy. This time the potion changed him back into a chicken.

"Woo hoo! I'm a chicken again! Yeah!" rejoiced Eddy. But after thinking that it was his human form that he wanted, Eddy paused and said, "Heyyy…wait a second!"

Before Eddy could finish out his thought, he is cut off by the sudden movement in the canal. By their empress' orders, the KND troop immediately drained the canals, resulting in Eddy and Edd getting sucked down into the drain at the bottom of the canal. From outside of the palace, there is a giant replica of Eddy's face carved into the gold-plated palace wall. The canal water, along with Eddy and Edd, poured out of the statue Eddy's nose. Fortunately for the boys, they reached out and grabbed onto one of the giant nostrils before they almost plummeted to their doom.

Jessie peered over the canal and turned to KND. "They're at the bottom! After them!" she ordered.

"Come on, team! We can't let them get away. Kids Next Door, Battle Stations," yelled the seal Numbuh One. The kids/animals yelled out their numbers, with Numbuh Five as the first to jump down through the drain and Numbuh One as the last to leave. When all five KND members slid down towards the drain, they realized too late that there was nothing for them to land on once they reached the bottom. As a result, the KND ended up screaming as they fell out of the giant nose.

Flabbergasted, Jessie looked at the entire scene and could not believe how the best sector of KND had easily failed. She pounded her head with her fists in aggravation, mentally and physically beating herself up for depending on a bunch of twerps to capture the emperor. After she finished, she rushed over to some nearby curtains and yanks on it to use as a make-shift rope. She wrapped one end of the curtain around her waist and with both hands clutching the curtains, she jumped down into the drain.

Meanwhile, Eddy and Edd had somehow managed to climb from the nose to the head. As they sat on the monument's head, Edd pulled out two vials from his pant pockets. "There are only two potions left. One of these has to be the human antidote," Edd said to Eddy, anxiously awaiting to drink the potions.

Just as Eddy was reaching out to try one of the potions, Jessie dropped in between the two boys and kicked both of them. The sudden kick caused Edd to drop the potions, with both vials rolling out onto the surface. Despite getting kicked in the noggin, Eddy spotted the vials and ran towards them just as Jessie was running towards the vials. Both Eddy and Jessie reached the vials at the same time, causing them to move in a blurry whirlwind until Jessie landed hard on one of the potions. A loud blasting sound and an accompanying puff of smoke kept Eddy and Edd at a distance from Jessie.

A pair of glowing yellow eyes and gleaming fangs are seen through the smoke with Jessie laughing wickedly in anticipation of her evil transformation. When the smoke finally cleared, Eddy and Edd are shocked, as well as Jessie, to find that the villainess had turned into a blue-eyed, magenta-furred Meowth.

With a smirk, Eddy snatched the other vial lying beside the feline Jessie. "I'll be taking that, you bad little puddy-tat!" he mocked, blatantly ignoring Jessie's murderous glare.

"By process of elimination, that last potion has to be the antidote. It looks like you'll be back to your human self, Eddy," said Edd, happy that his friend would finally be able to go back to normal.

But just before Eddy could drink the potion, Jessie pounced on the chicken emperor and viciously clawed and scratched his face with her Fury Swipes attack move.

"OW! GET THIS FURBALL OFF ME! GET HER OFF, DOUBLE D!" Eddy screamed.

Edd complied as he nervously moved closer to Eddy, wondering how on earth he was going to stop this ferocious cat creature. Jessie looked up to see Edd hesitatedly reaching out to grab her. Angrily growling, she swiped her claws at his face. Edd moved back to avoid the attack, but in his backing off, he lost his footing off the edge and began to fall. Fortunately, Edd reached out and grabbed onto the edge, keeping him from falling a long ways down. But there was no way of knowing how long he could stay like this!

Eddy puts a stop to Jessie's fury swipes by repeatedly slamming her into the wall. His actions both flattened and temporarily knocked out Jessie, who landed face first on the ground. Eddy glared at Jessie, but then smiles as he picks up the potion he dropped when Jessie attacked him. Before he starts to open the vial, he spots Edd frantically trying to hang onto the edge. Edd looked up at Eddy and yells, "Don't worry about me! Just drink the potion!"

"Will do," Eddy agrees. He raises his wing but to his horror, the potion had vanished from his grasp. "Oh no! Where is it?!"

"Lookin' fo' dis?" mocked an unfamiliar voice. Eddy turns in the direction of that voice and finds that it came from Jessie! To add more to his shock, she was holding the potion in her paws.

Hearing the sounds coming from her mouth, Jessie instantly clams up, then nervously asked, "Is…is dat my voy-ce?! Why do I have a Brooklyn acc-ent? I sound like Meowth."

She shrugs. "Eh. Whateva." She quickly puts on her evil, devious face and threateningly holds the vial over the edge.

"Ahh! Don't drop it!" screamed Eddy. Whether she was serious or she was merely calling his bluff, he didn't want to risk his only chance of being human again.

"I'm not goin' ta drop it, ya idiot!," Jessie snarled. "I'm goin' to drink it! And once I change back into my gorgeous self, I'm goin' ta kill ya!"

Jessie laughs wickedly at the end of her speech, then begins to open the vial. However, it's proving to be a challenge since she did not have opposable thumbs to pull off the cork. Then Jessie gets an idea to use one of her claws to pull it off. Sticking a sharp claw into the cork, Jessie pulls with all her might to get the cork off the vial, but the cork remained steadfastedly attached to the glass container. Frustrated, Jessie madly flings the vial off her claw, which bounced off against a wall and out over the edge.

Without thinking, Jessie jumps off the edge, hoping to catch the potion. Suspended in mid-air, she looked below her feet and realized the 'gravity' of what she had just done. She gulped, "Uh oh," then screamed at the top of her lungs as she began plunging downward.

Eddy watched as both Jessie and the potion were falling at a fast rate. But to his amazement, the vial landed unevenly on a structure jutting out from the palace walls. Eddy looked up to where the vial had landed and noticed that the vial was teetering unsteadily back and forth. Eddy knew he didn't have a lot of time; he had to grab the potion before it fell off the edge again!

Standing on his tip toes, Eddy slowly reached up to grab the potion, taking extreme caution as to not cause any sudden movement to the vial's insecure position. His concentration is interrupted by the shouts coming from Edd.

"Eddy!" Edd called out, as his grip begins to loosen up off the edge. Eddy turns around and sees that Edd is very close to falling off.

"Give me a minute! I'll be right there!" Eddy turned his attention back to the task at hand, grabbing the potion from its precarious perch.

"Oh no! Oh no! Eddy, help me!" cried Edd. He could feel every muscle in his skinny arms straining to hold him as close to the edge as possible. The sweat from his hands moistened the edge he was trying desperately to cling to. The edge's surface became slick and slippery, making it more difficult for Edd's hands to maintain a solid grip.

Eddy anxiously looked back and forth between Edd and the potion. With both the potion and Edd close to slipping away, he knew he only had time to save just one of the two things that were important to him. In his mind, Eddy frantically considered his options: save Edd but remain a chicken for the rest of his life OR grab the potion but lose Edd, who had become a true friend to him, to a hundred feet drop to his death. He only had seconds to decide which option to choose.

"EDDY!" Edd screamed as both of his sweaty palms finally lost their grip and he began to fall.

But just as Edd began to think he was a goner, who should appear and grab his wrists, but the emperor himself! Edd smiles and sighs in relief when he saw that Eddy sacrificed his only chance of being human in order to save him.

Eddy smiled down at Edd. Eddy was beyond happy that he rescued Edd again, though this time he did not deny the truth behind his actions. He saw a real friend in Edd, one who went over and beyond to help him and was willing to forgive him during his selfish moments. It scared Eddy to see Edd so close to falling to his doom that he forgot all about the potion and rushed to pull his friend back to safety. Now that Edd was safe, Eddy felt a sense of relief and joy.

But while Eddy was busy helping Edd, the vial fell from its stand and began its rapid descent. Both boys spotted the vial dropping and said, "The potion!"

Meanwhile, Jessie was still screaming as she continued falling closer and closer to the ground. At the bottom near the palace entrance, Barkin, one of the emperor's guards, was currently talking to a yellow-skinned salesman, who had an over-sized truck full of trampolines.

"For the last time, we are not interested in buying a trampoline!" Barkin angrily replied. Gil, the salesman from Springfield, was getting on his last nerves with his constant pleas for him to sell one of his products.

"Oh, please, I beg of you!" Gil nervously yanked on his wrinkled tie and began to sweat feverishly. "I gotta make a sale! My boss is gonna fire me, and then my wife will leave me for her on-again/off-again lover and I'll have to go back to selling used cars…" As Gil rambled on and on, both he and Barkin failed to notice Jessie landing on a trampoline and being shot back up into the sky like a rocket.

Jessie continued to scream as the force from the trampoline propelled her into the air. As she was flying upward, the vial was descending at the same time. Suddenly, Jessie felt something fall into her paw. To her shock and delight, she found herself holding the human potion!

Eddy and Edd spotted Jessie flying past them, laughing maniacally as she gloated over snatching the emperor's chance of being human and using it for herself. However, Jessie was too busy wallowing in her supposed victory that she neglected to see the same stand that the potion was on earlier. Without warning, Jessie painfully hit her head underneath the stand, which caused her to drop the vial.

Both boys looked up to where the vial was now resting. The ledge from which the vial had landed was incredibly high up from where the boys were standing. Judging by the rather large distance between them and the vial, they would have to climb to reach it.

Eddy and Edd looked at each other and smirked, both thinking the same solution for their dilemma. "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" asked Eddy to Edd. Edd nodded and both moved into position.

Just as they did when they were climbing the canyon the other day, the boys linked their arms together with their backs pressed against each other, and then begin walking right foot-left foot all the way up the palace walls. Having a stronger bond and prior practice, Eddy and Edd climbed up the walls as if they were pros. At the rate they were going, they were getting close to the prized potion.

Jessie somehow manages to recuperate from her head injury, albeit feeling dizzy at first. But she quickly shakes it off when she looks down and to her disbelief, she sees that the twerps are close to reaching the potion. She jumps down from nook to corner, determined to stop the boys at all costs.

Eddy and Edd finally reached their destination. Remembering the trick Ed used to help Edd reach for a rope in the canyon, Eddy grabbed his tailfeathers and started pumping them in order to extend his neck. After Eddy's neck was long enough, Edd was close enough to actually grab the potion without trouble.

But trouble came when Jessie made her appearance. She jumped onto the ledge and snatched the vial. Holding the potion in her claws, Jessie laughed evilly to celebrate her victory. Grinning wickedly, she said, "I win!"

However, her victory came to a halt when a door opened up beside Jessie and hit her on impact, crushing her into the wall. With the sudden shock of the door's impact on her feline body, Jessie's paw opened up, allowing the vial to drop into Edd's hands.

The person who opened the door and was responsible for the unexpected change of events was James!

Looking around, James wondered, "Huh. What are the odds of that trap door leading me out here?" James had no idea that his actions has stopped Jessie from her evil plans nor that he had indirectly helped Eddy and Edd.

Now that Jessie was defeated and the human potion was in their possession, the boys celebrated their triumph by laughing and hugging each other. But being adolescent boys who easily get embarrassed at showing affection, the two ended their hug and hastily stepped back from each other, both of them looking a little uncomfortable.

Edd cleared his throat. "Uh, here. Let me open this for you." He pulled the cork off the vial and passed it to Eddy.

"Thanks, Sockhead."

Just before Eddy began to drink the potion, he gave one last speech.

"As a wise man once said, "One small step for chicken, one giant leap for humankind.""

After that dramatic statement, he quickly gulped the potion down. Suddenly, a giant pink poof of smoke appeared, clouding all eyes from seeing Eddy's transformation.

* * *

StarReader86: So did Eddy return back to his human self? Or was the adventure all for nothing? Did Eddy learn anything from this? Has he changed for the better? Read Ch 11 to find out!


	11. The final Eding

The next day, both Edd and Eddy worked to restore everything back to normal. Using the equipment from the Team Rocket lab that were not destroyed, Edd analyzed the contents from the leftover liquid in the human potion. Once he found out the antidote's ingredients, he mixed the elements together and produced another antidote potion. With this potion, he was able to turn Starfire, the Powerpuff Girls, and Ed back to their normal forms. Seeing as how Jessie's potions had turned them into some of the slowest creatures on Earth, Edd didn't have much trouble finding them in the laboratory. Once he made sure that Starfire and his cousins were okay, the four girls flew back to Edd's house. Ed, on the other hand, decided to stay with Edd.

As for Eddy, he busied himself with work to improve his relations with his servants and the townspeople. After his life-changing experience, Eddy decided to be a better, nicer emperor by treating his subjects with more respect and actually taking the time to help them with their problems like a good ruler should.

Now Eddy didn't completely let go of his bad habits. He was still just as greedy when it came to jawbreakers, but after listening to Edd, he improved the working conditions in the jawbreaker mines and gave the miners better job benefits. He also liked to scam people with his rigged games, but now he did it for fun and always returned whatever his victims lost in his scams.

His subjects and the townspeople were surprised to see a new change in their emperor's ways. Though some still harbored their dislike for their emperor, there were more people who were delighted to see their emperor as a less selfish and cruel ruler and began to like him much more. Most peoples' views of the emperor changed when Eddy would walk up to them, talk to them, and apologize for any wrongdoings he committed against them.

One of the people Eddy apologized to was Da Mayor, who was ejected out of the palace window for throwing off the emperor's groove. Thinking back to the incident, Eddy realized that he was acting like a real jerk by punishing an old man for what was really an accident. He summoned Da Mayor to the palace so that he could apologize to him face-to-face.

"Oh, don't beat yourself up about it. I accept your apology, young man. I mean, young emperor," Da Mayor said, holding a half-eaten pickle in his hand.

"So, no hard feelings, right?" asked Eddy. Despite how relaxed Da Mayor acted, he was still worried that the old man may hold a grudge against him because of the way he treated him.

"Naw, besides if you didn't throw me out the window, someone else would have done so." Da Mayor playfully shrugged, then took a bite of his pickle. "What can I say? I'm a born troublemaker." Da Mayor jokingly threw some punches against Eddy's stomach.

Eddy dramatically fell to the floor and curled into a ball, acting as if Da Mayor had punched him for real. "Ow. Ya got me in the gut. Guess I know not to mess with you." Eddy stood up and straightened himself off and waved goodbye to Da Mayor, who waved goodbye as he walked to the exit.

Smiling, Eddy said, "For an old geezer, he's ain't so bad."

Eddy turned around and walked into his throne room. In the middle of the room, Edd and Ed are sitting around the miniature model of Eddy's Summer Paradise. Despite the friendship he believed had developed between the himself and the emperor, Edd couldn't help but think that Eddy may still go forward with his plans to demolish his village and build his summerhouse. Ed looked sadly at his dejected friend, he had no idea why Edd was so sad since Edd refused to tell what was really bugging him. Edd knew it was wrong, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Ed about Eddy's plans, it would break the big lug's poor heart.

Eddy looked at the sorrowful pair and the way Edd was eyeing the model. He correctly guessed that his plans for a grand summer getaway were the roots of his friends' sad states. He stood still for a second, thinking of what he should say to the guys. Once he figured it out, he took a deep breath and thought, _'It's showtime.'_

"Thought you could pull a fast one on me, didn't ya?" asked Eddy, pretending to look upset.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Edd asked confusedly.

"You said, and I quote…" Eddy changed his voice to sound like a mock version of Edd's voice. _"…When the sun's rays shine on the ridge just right, the hills sing like the melodious nightingale."_ Then speaking in his normal voice, Eddy continued. "Well, Sockhead, I was dragged and chased all over the hills and I didn't hear no singing."

Picking up the summerhouse model, Eddy announced, "So I'm not gonna build my summer palace on that crummy little hilltop of yours. I'm taking my business elsewhere, thank you."

Edd immediately perked up. Even though Eddy didn't come right out and say it, Edd knew right away that Eddy had come through and decided not to destroy his village to make way for his summer palace.

"Wow, I…I'm...I'm speechless. I don't know what to say," murmured Edd. He felt so overwhelmingly happy and proud of Eddy for doing the right thing and for all the other changes that the emperor was making to become a kinder, less self-centered ruler.

"Just say 'thank you.' It's not that hard," remarked Eddy jokingly.

Speaking up for the first time since Eddy's return to his human self, Ed exclaimed "Thank you, Eddy!"

A scratched record sound is heard as both Eddy and Edd stared wide-opened at Ed, both thinking if they had heard right. Did Ed just say Eddy instead of "Giblet?"

"Ed?! Did you just call me Eddy?!" asked the flabbergasted emperor.

"Yep. I knew your name all along. Even I'm not that dumb." Ed smiled warmly at Eddy, then wrapped him in a cozy hug. "But you'll always be my little chicken, Giblet."

Eddy grins and chuckles against Ed's chest. "Heh, guess I underestimated you, monobrow." Ed released Eddy from his embrace. Eddy sat down next to his summerhouse model that he had placed on the floor. Although he changed his plans on the location of his summerhouse, Eddy still wanted to build his summer getaway.

Sitting cross-legged and holding his head between his hands, Eddy looks at the model forlornly. "Now, where am I gonna build my summer pad? It has to be somewhere cool!"

Edd went over to Eddy and sat right beside him. Looking at both Eddy and the summer palace model, Edd holds his chin in a pondering manner and thinks of the most ideal solution to Eddy's dilemma. As always, Edd gets an idea and proceeds to share it with the emperor.

"It may not be the 'coolest' place on earth, but I know of a place you can build your summer resort. One of the perks is that it is very close to our village." Edd then casually shrugged, "Just thought you might be interested."

Confused, Eddy thought over about what Edd had said. Then it hit him! He figured out what Edd was getting at. Smirking at Edd, Eddy realized right away what Edd was really suggesting. There were only two words to describe the anticipating excitement that was about to take place. Ed grabbed the two boys around their shoulders and yelled those two words.

"POOL PARTY!!"

* * *

After a week had passed, Eddy's Paradise was open for business! Per Edd's suggestions, Eddy had his construction crew build his summer getaway on a hilltop next to the hill where Edd's village was located. To celebrate the opening day of Eddy's Paradise, Eddy invited everyone from Edd's village to join in the fun.

Kicking open the door to one of the changing room huts, Eddy strikes a pose in his red swim trunks. "Ha! Yeah, baby!" Eddy yelled his catch phrase.

Unlike Eddy, Edd, wearing dark purple swim trunks, gently opened the front door of his house. But like Eddy, he also yelled, "Ha! Yeah, baby!"

Both Eds ran down their respective hilltops and headed for the giant, refreshing pool that was part of the whole Eddy's Summer Paradise. As they ran, Eddy's theme song guy, Powerline, began to sing.

_**You'd be the coolest dude in the nation**_

_**Or the hippest cat in creation**_

Eddy dives into the pool, with Edd following close behind. Both boys laugh and splash each other until Ed arrives at the scene, making a massive cannonball into the pool. This created a huge wave from which the emperor rode through it and landed onto the beach.

Grabbing a fresh towel from a nearby lawnchair, Eddy vigorously dried himself off. After toweling himself off, Eddy looks to find Starfire hovering in front of him with a strange necklace in her hands. With a cheerful smile, Starfire places the ceremonial Blorthog necklace of friendship over his head and around his wide neck. To conclude her acceptance of Eddy, the emperor she had earlier thought of as a rude, unjust leader, as her friend, Starfire embraced him in a tight, crushing hug.

_**But if you ain't got friends**_

_**then nothing's worth the fuss**_

_**A perfect world will come to be**_

_**When everybody here can see**_

The Powerpuff Girls giggled at Eddy whose body resembled that of an accordion. All three grabbed onto a part of Eddy's body and stretched him out back into his normal shape. Once he was back to normal, Bubbles and Blossom gave him a hug while Buttercup gaves Eddy a noogie. Despite his dislike of little kids, Eddy couldn't deny that he liked and respected the superpowered trio, especially after they saved him from Jessie and her Pokemon. He returned their hug, then playfully swiped at Buttercup to get off his head. The girls laughed gleefully and flew off, leaving Eddy all alone for the moment.

_**That a perfect world begins and ends**_

Edd, with his towel draped around his neck, ambles over to Eddy and gives him a friendly, firm hand shake to which Eddy happily returned. Then Ed popped up in between them and pulled his two friends in a big group hug. Starfire arrived on the scene and shyly kissed Edd on the lips, which caused the couple to smile and blush at the same time. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup swooped into the group and hugged Edd, Starfire, Ed, and Eddy again for the second time!

_**A perfect world begins and ends**_

All of a sudden, Powerline, some of the villagers that made an appearance in the story, and the author StarReader86 herself, joined the merry group of family and friends. Everybody smiles and strikes a pose as Powerline sings the last words to the song.

_**A perfect world begins and ends with us**_

* * *

You would think that would be the end of the movie. But there is one last scene, one that will answer the question of what ever happened to James and Jessie.

Standing on a grassy mound, a blue-haired man wearing a Critter Scouts uniform, coupled with a hat and various badges adorning his outfit. For those who guessed correctly, it is James! Apparently after the whole plan to get rid of emperor Eddy failed, James decided to do something he liked doing and was more noble. Like his Pop Pop, he became a Critter Scouts troop leader. But he couldn't do it alone, so he enlisted the help of his furry associates, Alvin and his brothers, Simon and Theodore, who are also wearing the Critter Scouts uniform.

Today, he is teaching his scouts how to translate certain English phrases in chipmunk language. The scouts in his troop consisted of the Powerpuff girls, Lazlo, Raj, Clam, Timmy Turner, A.J. and Chester.

"Dude, where is my acorn?" said James.

"Squeaky, squeakin', squeak, squeak," uttered the scouts as they translated the first phrase.

"StarReader86 is a great writer."

"Squeak, squeak, squeaker, squeakitty, squeak."

"I watched the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie and bought the DVD."

"Squeak, squeakin,' squeak, squeaked, squeak, squeaky…"translated the scouts. The nine scouts looked over and found that one of their fellow scouts was not participating in the exercise. Lazlo leaned over and nudged a pouty-looking magenta Meowth, who glared up at the monkey's stupidly smiling face.

Jessie grudgingly finishes the sentence. "Squeak," she said, holding up a copy of the DVD.

James was so overcome with pride for his troop's success at chipmunk translation that he began to tear up. The chipmunk trio gave him some tissues to dry his eyes. Wiping his eyes, James declared, "I am so proud of you guys!"

THE END


End file.
